Earth has always felt constricting to him. Travel as far as one can go, and ends up at the starting point - a full circle.
As a child, he had always chased after the stars, idolizing that brilliant shine in the sky. Wanting to be where the stars are. Free and brilliant.
His view changed with time. He wished he could embrace those little sparkles he used to admire into his chest, tucking it all away. Protecting those little stars from the confinements of the galaxy. All these stars, stripped of their freedom and is destined to die off… Right where they started.
Takashi cried when he realized he felt the same confinement as those little stars. Fixed on Earth, his beginning and end.
He doesn’t feel constricted anymore. He has broken records, first of his generation to go on multiple missions, youngest to have done so. He had it all. A good head upon his shoulders, the job of his dream, and a significant other that supports him.
He couldn’t ask for anything more.
This is all he ever wanted.
No, absolutely not!
Why not? He’s cleared all his physicals.
I don’t care what the doctor said. This man is sick and he shouldn’t be sent on another mission.
Well, maybe he’s right. Maybe you shouldn’t go on the mission.
How important am I to you?
Don’t expect me to be here when you get back.
I overheard you and Commander Holt talking with Admiral Sanda.
Nightmares haunt him behind his closed eyes. Golden eyes leering from afar. Claws sweeping his flesh. Detaching and attaching body parts. What he doesn’t remember his subconscious fills in the rest.
He would wake drenched in sweats. Skin ice to the touch. Lips parted but silent screams.
Nights like these make him wonder if everything was worth it. Has he found the world where he could feel free? Where the cage that reminds him of his limitations is nonexistent.
A place where he could believe in himself and make the impossible - possible.
“Shiro. Takashi, you’re safe.” A voice would say.
Shiro’s gaze would find the source of the voice. His tensed muscles would start to relax under the gentle touch, coaxing him to lay back down in their bed. Kiss his tears away, and let him cling to their warmth.
Yes, it was worth it. Because along the way, he has found his universe.