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May 22nd, 2019

Another color by number done! This just looks like geometrical shapes which was a little bit a bummer, but oh well. Matt & I hung out today and got hamburger heaven wiile watching stranger things. Slowek’s never seen it!!! So it was crucial.

Otherwise today was food!

Murray Vs Teenage Pregnancy

Tuesday December 11th 2018, Murray and Judas were hanging out at Mendota’s sleaziest strip joint The Glitter Puddle. He was having a great time until one of the dancers, Teenage Pregnancy, spilled Murray’s Budweiser all over him. Murray looked down found his pants stained and they now smelled like pennies. She apologized profusely and got him another beer for free but in Murray’s eyes she was already marked for death. He said to Judas who was getting a lap dance ” get that disgusting whore off of you and lets go”. He paid his bill for the first time in months and then left.

Fast forward to closing time, Alan Richards had the bouncer, Parkinson’s, escort Teenage Pregnancy to her car knowing that Murray may be nearby lying in wait. His assumption was right as Teenage Pregnancy was leaving the parking lot she saw Murray standing in the street staring at her. She drove home as fast as she could and bolted the door shut and sat in bed all night crying terrified of what may come. She wished that she had actually finished high school instead of getting expelled for sucking dicks in the bathroom to trade for skittles and key bumps. But here she was a filthy druggie whore with an unstoppable madman after her.

Murray had never killed from a distance before but he was always open to trying new things. He had gone to his friend Bimmy Larson and borrowed the biggest gun that he had, a Barrett M82a 50 caliber rifle. Murray thanked Bimmy and promised him cold beers when he was finished using it.

A week later Murray was sitting on the roof of Stacey’s General Store across the street from Teenage Pregnancy’s apartment. He had dropped a lot of money on snacks and beer for this operation. He had been on this rooftop for days staking out her place while planning his next move. Teenage Pregnancy’s life was erratic making it very hard to form any sense of schedule but one thing was consistent she always came home to see her cuck boyfriend after work at about 2:30 am. Murray took a mean shit in the Stacey’s bathroom and a nap on the roof while he waited for his prey to return. He warned the young cashier Monika Petes, daughter of Officer Wentz Petes, not to look across the street from 2:30 to 2:45.

2:30 finally came and Murray was primed and ready. Teenage Pregnancy pulled into the parking lot and ran from her car to the inside of the building thinking she was safe inside. She was very wrong. Murray was looking through a window that showed the stairwell of the apartment building. Murray knew he would only get one shot so he waited patiently and held his breath as she came into view. Just as her left foot touched the top step her right leg exploded and then she heard the glass shatter. She screamed as she tumbled down the stairs in pure agony as a fine red mist hung in the air. Murray had hit is shot dead on hitting Teenage Pregnancy’s kneecap taking out almost the whole leg leaving only some scraps of flesh and a fleshy nub six inches above where her knee had been. She passed out from shock as her head collided with the bottom concrete stair.

Teenage pregnancy woke up hours later in a bathtub behind some barn, tied up and her wound cauterized shut with a 1/16th steel plate stuck to the end. She tried to scream only to find out that she had been gagged. Then Murray appeared above the tub his face hidden in shadow. He pulled something out of his Duster and she froze in fear her eyes filled with pure terror. The object turned out to be a budweiser in a bottle which Murray uncapped and dumped out over her head. “Tastes like pennies doesn’t it” he said. “Now we will see how you like to be spilled on” he said as he walked to his car. He returned with a Jerry can in his hand and began to fill the bathtub with gasoline. The tub had been filled about 3 inches high with gas when the can was empty and Murray began to walk back to his car. He put the can back in the trunk and lit a cigarette. As he got into the car and started it he said “none of this would have happened if you had just been more careful you lousy whore”. She thought he was going to leave  as she heard the car get further away but her hopes were dashed when she heard the car turn around and start coming closer. As the car passed Murray flicked his lit cig into the tub igniting the pyre he had made. The soaked ropes that bound Teenage Pregnancy burned before she did and she tried to escape the tub but her now missing leg prevented her from doing so. She screamed as the gag burned away and she was consumed slowly by the flames her hair going first and then her skin followed soon after. 5 minutes later as the fire burned out Murray returned to examine the mess he had made. The smell of burnt hair stinging his nose. Teenage Pregnancy had been reduce to nothing but a charred skeleton as black as a smoker’s lungs. It had been a long night with no breaks so Murray relieved himself on the skeleton.

Murray then went to her apartment and made a pizza in the microwave. He then walked to his car as unsatisfying molten cheese streamed down his face as he got into his car listening to the heavy metals as he sped off. When he got home he fed the rest of the pizza to his dog Missile went to bed dreaming of the time he saw Van Helen in concert with his friend Sammy.

I will always put people before me

And the amount of times

Thats fucked with me

I don’t know why I still haven’t learnt my lesson.

what i said: this feels like home

what i meant: no one has ever stopped my earthquakes, my shaking and hitting and crumbling. there is a steady air in my lungs, my fingers have stopped trembling. i think this is what comfort feels like.

what i said: your lips are so soft

what i meant: usually when i kiss someone, i have to stop after 15 seconds because most of the time i can only breathe from my mouth. i could kiss you for hours and not struggle. you push oxygen in to my chest like i’m dying, and ive never been unafraid to close my eyes.

what i said: you are not your body, you are just in it.

what i meant: i fall for each and every movement, the way you dance makes me want to learn and i swore i never would repeat my childhood tap lessons. when we are naked, i do not feel like i am taking up to much space. when we are naked, the feeling of your skin calms all my vibrating atoms. when we are naked, we see each other beyond physicality. i see gold rings of sunrise flirt with your curls and envelope you like a halo. i am convinced you are an angel, or a god. i’m not sure which quite yet.

what i said: you are mine.

what i meant: i will sucker punch, drop kick, and curb stomp the next motherfucker stupid enough to try and hurt you. relax your shoulders, unclench your jaw, remember the past does not live here anymore. it is okay to cry. my chest is your buddha board, it is okay to paint your grief on my pores. sometimes we smash windows, sometimes we cut ourselves on the glass, but i have bandages and first aid training. we are going to be alright.

what i said: i love you.

what i meant: there are no words for this. i know that i am home.

Sonic Adventure Machinabridged Pitch

Exterior; Station Square City Hall. The police have arrived and spotted Chaos lurking in front of the City Hall.

Cop: “W-what do we do, sir?”

Lieutenant: “Same thing we do to everything else we don’t understand; shoot it!”

Squad opens fire, but the bullets don’t affect Chaos.

Lieutenant: “Oh no! Guns have failed America! Fall back, men!”

The police retreats, and suddenly Sonic appears.

Sonic: “Hi! I haven’t seen you before. Wanna be my friend?”

Chaos strikes Sonic

Sonic: “Ow! Was it something I said? I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to offend you! We are in the City Hall District. I’m trying to be careful about that.”

Chaos attacks again

Sonic: “Ow, stop it! I just wanted to say hi!”

Chaos strikes Sonic once more

Sonic: “You made me do this! AAAAAAAAAAAH!!”

Sonic fights back, repeatedly Homing Attacking Chaos to a puddle

Sonic: (worried): “Oh no. I didn’t mean to kill them! That was just suppose to be self-defense!”

The Chaos puddle starts towards the nearby drain

Sonic: “Oh, they’re okay. (Starts towards the moving puddle): Wait! Come back! I’m sorry! I hope we can still be friends.”

But Chaos has already escaped

Sonic: “Aww. I’ve lost the chance to make a liquidy friend.”

And scene.

I think D&D were on drugs when they wrote their episodes for season 8. It’s the only explanation that makes sense. They sat, locked up in a room with a mountain of coke Thinking what they were writing was clever and made sense. But it wasn’t and it didn’t.

Oh hi don’t mind me just dropping portraits of my three main characters from Paradise Lost here.

No but seriously, I love them.

Eris is the first main character whose arc first revolves around revenge and the inevitable realization that she might become what she hates the most.

Keir is the second main character who is a prince from a splitted kingdom that has a mission for him with which he doesn’t quite agree.

Asuma is the third main character who is a princess from a far away land who as an agenda of her own that might destroy her and her land.

I hope you like them!


T’étais pas prêt, Moucheron…

Un mois que tu tournes en rond,

que chaque foutu matin

apporte de nouvelles questions.

Au milieu de nulle part

les idées fusent dans le noir

et disparaissent aussitôt,

un profond chaos.

T’as perdu le contrôle

de ton vaisseau spatial,

tu dérives dans le vide,

le froid intersidéral.

Le temps de tout

remettre en question.

Mai 2019