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I thought our love was like the ever lasting sun but then I relised the sun’s light won’t last forever.

Growth and Trust

I can see that he’s been thinking. I can see that he sees that I know. He’s been thinking about his future, his friendship group, his weight, his academic performance.

I recognise his social intelligence - his observant mind and quick reactions as he quips and jokes and pulls strings to encourage people to dance for his amusement. Whether or not his confidence in his own ability to read and manipulate people for better or worse, is up to question - I am not as observant as he appears and claims to be.

Does he think about what he will say before he says it? Does he formulate his words, his tone, his expressions to further his games? I think it comes naturally to him.

But the difference between his sharp, fun-loving self and the person he is when it’s just the three of us at the glass table in my backyard is stark. At least in the moments we’re not joking around.

He’s expressed his disgust for our almost ex-friends, his desire to get ‘better’ friends, his confrontation of his eating habits - decreasing portion sizes and waiting until his stomach rumbles for food and not just keeping his stomach consistently as full as possible - not just starving himself to lose weight.

'Jesus Christ, ___’ 'Shut up, ___’ - I’ve noticed he reprimands himself now, something he had never done until quite recently.

Amongst many other things it seems he’s making positive changes in his life and I’m really glad to see it. He sits with us and seems so comfortable and content and open.

For as long as I’ve been friends with this group I’ve heard that he has trust issues which stemmed from and hindered his romantic relationships. I believe this at their confident statements and his admittance but I had never seen it until this weekend.

Our female friend and I left the group gathering early, with full and honest and later fulfilled intention of going home to bed. Once outside he came hurrying out and asked if we were leaving to go hang out at my house for a while. We said no and wished him goodnight.

By the time I had changed and settled into bed he sent a message to the group chat again asking if we were hanging out at my house and I told him I was in bed. Our female friend didn’t answer because she was already asleep.

I told her that I felt bad for him and personally guilty after this incident but couldn’t explain why. Tonight this was brought up and he mentioned how he was anxious that myself and our female friend would leave him with the group to go to mine with our female friend’s boyfriend and then send him a group picture of we three grinning and flipping him off.

Essentially, he casually said that he didn’t trust us and believed that we would maliciously exclude and mock him without reason. I laughed before I had this realisation.

Then I knew where the guilt stemmed from - I had sensed this lack of trust and was anxious that I had done or said something either to him or just in general that had caused him to view me as untrustworthy. The idea that he could think this of me is incredibly upsetting because I have told him on at least two occasions that he is one of the very few people whom I actually trust.

To me, trust means consistency, reliability, almost predictability. While his joking side has remained thus lately I know that this is largely for entertainment purposes - to amuse himself, a crowd or to just fill the time or the silence.

Its his deeper side that seems to be increasingly present that I find, not off-putting or disturbing but something in that essence - perhaps unsettling is the right world. His expression of his private internal and external analyses are always thoughtful and intriguing, surprising and unexpected and this last one is why I’m put so off balance. I’ve known him for years now and we’ve had many private conversations in which we’ve supposedly both been open and honest but in these talks, the topics he explains to us seem incredibly raw.

I have trust issues too, of a different nature but similar manifestation. But his are quite bad considering the casual way he shrugged the thoughts off.

Our female friend reassured me that it was not my fault that he felt this way - that I had done nothing wrong that could have roused his anxieties. This is true and does make me feel personally better but no less sympathetic for his suffering such ideas.

So much is happening with him right now I feel in a whirlwind. I found it hard to meet his eye, properly talk or say hello or goodbye. We’re both just messed up I suppose. What an odd night.


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Thank you so much Mr & Ms Umang for trusted your vacation 8 Days to us.
See you in your next vacation with us ✈🛄 🚗 🌴🙏😊
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Here is a new OC Trusted. Next will be Dhocomerina, but a little later, now I’m doing Ych pony and he’s big. Drew 5 ponies, left to draw 11 pony, will finish soon at the end of March. Now read the story Trusted.

Name: Trusted

Nickname: Unknown

Race: Jungle elf

Gender: Female

Age: 498 years (approximately 22 years)

Height: 173 cm

Home: village Lazran (the Lost world in the Iguazu falls)

Parents: Unknown

Brother or sister: Unknown

Relatives: Unknown

Best friends: Louise, Tinky, Sakura, Lifi

Para: -

Allies: the Rebels, Heroes-spies, BPS, shield, and some organizations

Enemies: the Empire, the Empire of DTS, the Decepticons, the Templars, and some organizations

Abilities: to Control the magic, cook

Weapon: -

Character: Kind, nice, funny, sometimes shy

Like: Joy, fun, candy, flowers

Don’t like: Sadness, rain, cactus, spoiled cupcakes

Status: Unknown, most likely she is alive

History: Nothing is known about her. Was its family, were brothers and sister, were relatives, is unknown. Only is known about her, that she was born in the village Lazran. She loves to make sweets and treats her friends. Have a friend from childhood - this is Louise’s best friend and she also love to cook. Then she became friends with tinky, Sakura, Lifi - they are kind and love to cook food and sweets. She works at BPS, and it helps both BPS and Heroes-spies the salvation of the world and the universe. Makes sweets for young children and adults. In the war, she almost did not fight, does not know how to fight, but only knows how to control magic. After defeating the Empire and the Empire Dark, she returned to her home, where she used to live. It takes several years and began a new war with Thanos, but did not participate in the war, the cause is unknown, some think she was scared or did not want, but Thanos has lost in the war. And again the war with the villain Dark Overlord, and killed Captain Marvel took the heart. And this war was not involved, she took care of the children who lost their home and family. After Dark Overlord lost, and Trusted has moved, far no one knows. Still think she is alive and lives in the village Lazran.


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