I am not okay and it’s not okay.
I am not okay and it’s not okay.
Why do men and women look at bodies who are not theirs to know? Why do they perform alone to a person that’s not home? Why do we need pornography support groups at all? Why can’t porn just not be something at all? Why is sex everywhere? Why is it the thing everybody wants more of? What is the big deal? Why do we crave it so much? Why does everything have to be sexual for us?
When do little girls no longer play outside-do cartwheels in the sun without worrying over their thighs? Why are women so sexualized? Why aren’t men in the same light? Why have we abused what you made so good. Sometimes all I can say is why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why?
Following Jesus opens up this hole. Why we parade women in sex - in bras - on poles? Does it really make men feel that good? Do we really give them something that desirable? A women’s sexuality? My sexuality? Sometimes all I can say is Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? And all this why makes me cry.
I don’t always understand why I have intense visceral reactions to things until I express it through a poem or art. Today my church announced they were going to start a support group for men to discuss openly the temptation and addiction to pornography (I do think this goes for both genders, but it’s not there yet).
I should have been happy that the conversation is finally out in the open and the word pornography isn’t being hushed and now being used in a morning announcement to the whole church.
But instead I was angry and upset, so I made this poem/letter that expressed more of what I was feeling.
Anxiety support 6pm-7pm
ED support 7:30-9pm
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(at Club REDDragon)
With the 2nd session of my women’s support group starting up tomorrow night I thought a show and tell of the group room @sunstonecounseling might be in order. @counselingwithtara #oldtownalexandria #counseling #virtualtour #grouproom #groups #sunstonecounseling #fallschurch #supportgroups #womensgroup #womenssupportgroup #brenebrown #daringgreatly #firstvideo #firstvideooninstagram #arlington #dmv (at Counseling With Tara)
What are some things you can do instead of engaging in self-destructive behaviors?
advice to the younger females:
Tonight I had the chance to witness something amazing. My friend Taylor invited me to her LGBT support group called “Globe”. It sounded interesting and I have to admit, this girl gives me butterflies, so I went. And how incredible it was. Though a small group of LGBT youth, size has no effect. They meet once a week in this little room in a church and the church fully supports the gay community. The love and the acceptance in the room was overwhelmingly refreshing. I honestly wanted to cry at how beautiful it was. It reminded me that the world is a beautiful place and life isn’t always shitty. Being in a room with people I’ve never known, yet it’s as if our hearts had met before. My heart goes out to these kids who may or may not feel accepted. Some come from miles away, just to meet for a couple of hours in this little room once a week. Now THAT is dedication to me, that is purpose. And that is something that keeps me going. In my opinion this is what I live for. Discovering new ways that people are learning to come together as one and love one another for who they are. That, that is incredible.
Fat like me? Cant breath?
Put Vicks on your lips like chapstick and right under your nose and take deep breaths- you’ll be aiight