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  • Scorpius: I ate a brownie once at a Hogwarts party. It was kind of indescribable, really. I felt like I was floating. It turns out there wasn’t any marijuana in it, it was just an insanely good brownie.
17 notes

Mark: You had a crush on me? That’s so embarrassing!

Jinyoung: Mark…we’re married now.

Mark: Still, how embarrassing

Rosa: Someone will die.

Jake: Of fun!

Meta Knight: I’ve only slept nine hours over the past four days so I’m right on the verge of a nervous breakdown.

Meta Knight: *bites down on phone*

Meta Knight, looking down: This isn’t a bagel.

Gamora, to Thor: Peter will show you around.

Quill: Um, right this way is the exit…

  • Cavendish: You have to have some semblance of professionalism and I need you to give, like, even a fifteen percent effort!
  • Dakota: Twelve.
  • Cavendish: Fifteen! For God’s sake, I’m asking for fifteen percent effort, it’s not supposed to be a negotiation!

Paul: You are defecting?

Jimmy: I like you, Mr. McCartney, it’s just…all we do is sit in silence and eat beans.

Paul: Those beans were a reward.

Midoriya: Oh god, did you put glitter in our laundry detergent?

Aoyama: Oh yeah, I’m experimenting with some new entrepreneurial ideas. That ones called Sparkle Suds. Dress loud.

Midoriya: Will you stop putting glitter in everything? This morning you put glitter in the butter.

Aoyama: Disco dairy. Spread the party.

i’ll definitely fall in love with you…

ari: awe babe you had a crush on me. that’s embarrassing.

dante: we’re dating.

ari: still

Tim: I just need you to stay calm, okay?

Steph: Yeah, I’m just gonna stay angry. I find that relaxes me.

Kate: Okay, just a reminder, guys, today is Billy’s first day without Teddy so everyone be extra supportive. 

America: Already done. When he walked past me this morning, I gave him a kind nod. 

Kate: … Heartwarming!

If you ever need to discuss your problems with someone, find Hanbei, he lives for that crap.
—  Kanbei

I have no idea what I’m doing, but I know I’m doing it really, really well.

Quill, probably.

Get you an Andy Dwyer. He was head over heels in love with April and literally did anything he could for her ❤️❤️

  • RACHEL: i just got denied from NYADA
  • RACHEL: [laughing]
  • SAM: why are you laughing?
  • RACHEL: [laughing] because my dreams are dead
These people are members of the community, so I don’t hear them yelling at me, I hear them caring loudly
—  Rhys at some point

Miss Stacey: I believe that you are capable of much more.

Moody: I’m not.

  • Natasha: When people get a little too chummy with me I like to call them by the wrong name to let them know I don’t really care about them.

RONA: Well, one of the finer things that we do in Putnam County is the annual Easter egg hunt. Douglas hides the eggs, and I have to say that he did an exceptional job this year.

RONA: I’ve been searching for 25 minutes and I haven’t found a single egg.

PANCH: Oh. Yeah. I forgot to do that.