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You know what’s funny? Dust? He’s my best friend. And anyone who hurts him is probably someone whose face I would bite off.
—  Fidget
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Mike: Who broke the coffee pot? I’m not mad, I just want to know

Everyone:

George: I did it, I broke it

Mike: No. No, you didn’t. Davy?

Davy: Don’t look at me, look at John

John: What? I didn’t break it

Davy: Huh, that’s weird. How did you even know it was broken?

John: Because it’s standing right in front of us and it’s broken!

Davy: Suspicious

John: No, it’s not

Peter: If it matters, probably not, Paul was the last one to use it

Paul: Liar! I don’t even drink that crap

Peter: Oh, really? Then what were you doing by the coffee cart earlier?

Paul: I use the wooden stirrers to push back my cuticles. Everyone knows that, Peter!

Micky: Okay, let’s not fight. I broke it. Let me pay for it, Mike

Mike: No! Who broke it?

John: Ringo has been awfully quiet…

Ringo: Really? Oh my god!

[Everyone Arguing]

Mike, to the camera: I broke it. It burned my hand so I punched it. I predict 10 minutes from now they’ll be at each other’s throats with warpaint on their faces and a pig head on a stick

Mike: Good. It was getting a little chummy around here

  • [Woozi walking into a room filled with cats and dogs]
  • Woozi: Hoshi...
  • Hoshi: Hey, Woozi, good morning. How did you sleep? I adopted 32 dogs cats and dogs. Do you want pancakes?
What I hear when I’m being yelled at is people caring loudly at me.
—  Runt
What I hear when I’m being yelled at is people caring loudly at me
—  Debbie, whenever Lou is angry with her 
  • Four: Can I have all these question mark stickers?
  • Eleven: Why?
  • Four: I want to put them on stop signs.
  • Eleven: Four, no!
  • Tick: Oh, Arthur, you beautiful, naïve, sophisticated, newborn baby.

Grunt: Emberly, you’re like an angel with no wings.

Emberly: So, like, a person.

“All right, we want to say something to our girls. Anna, you’re a softie but a straight-up boss inside. Elsa, you’re the exact opposite. You all inspire us and we love you.”

-North, on behalf of the Guardians

McCracken: *looking at the coffee machine* Who broke it?

*silence*

McCracken: I’m not mad, I just want to know.

SQ: I did, I broke it.

McCracken: No, no you didn’t. Jackson?

Jackson: Don’t look at me, look at Jillson!

Jillson: What? I didn’t break it!

Jackson: Huh, that’s weird. How’d you even know it was broken?

Jillson: Because it’s sitting right in front of us, and it’s broken.

Jackson: Suspicious.

Jillson: No it’s not!

Crawlings: If it matters, probably not, but Martina was the last person to use it.

Martina: Liar! I don’t even drink that crap!

Crawlings: Oh really? Then what were you doing by the coffee cart earlier?

Martina: I use the stirrers to push back my cuticles. Everyone knows that!

SQ: Alright, alright, let’s not fight. I broke it, let me pay for it.

McCracken: No. Who broke it?

Jackson: Mr. Curtain’s been awfully quiet…

*Chaos ensues*

McCracken: (Later, by himself) It was me. I broke it. It burned my hand, so I punched it.

Oliver: From now on, we’ll be using code names. You can address me as “Eagle One”.

Laurel, code name, “Been There, Done That”.

Felicity is “Currently Doing That”.

Roy is “If I Had To Pick A Dude”.

Roy: What

Oliver: And Diggle is “Eagle Two”.

Diggle: Thank god.

Buddy: Scenario - You pull over a man for speeding, you find out that it’s your father. How do you handle the situation?

Laika: Well, first I would be like ’…Dad? You’re alive? What the hell?!’

Mars: Ugh, what’s that horrible sound?

Venus: Children.

120

*March 31st*

Pippin: So, you know how you love me because you haven’t had a single meeting with anybody since I became your assistant?

Pippin: That’s because every time someone calls and requests a meeting with you, I always schedule it for March 31st.

Faramir: Why?

Pippin: …Because I didn’t think March 31st existed.

Faramir: …So, then, how many meetings do I have today?

Pippin:

Pippin: 93.

Max: So. Who broke it? I’m not mad. I just want to know.

Space Kid: I did. I broke it…

Max: No. No, you didn’t. Harrison?

Harrison:  Don’t look at me. Look at Neil .

Neil: What?! I didn’t break it.

Harrison: Huh. That’s weird. How did you even know it was broken?

Neil: Because it’s sitting right in front of us and it’s broken!

Harrison: Suspicious.

Neil: No, it’s not!

Nerris: If it matters, probably not… Ered was the last one to use it.

Ered: Liar! I don’t even drink that crap!

Nerris: Oh really? Then what were you doing by the coffee cart earlier?

Ered: I use the wooden stirrers to push back my cuticles. Everyone knows that, Nerris!

Space Kid: Alright let’s not fight. I broke it, let me pay for it, Max.

Max: No. Who broke it?

Neil, whispering: Max, Dolph’s been awfully quiet…

Dolph: Really?!

Neil: Yeah, really!

Max: I broke it. I burned my hand so I punched it. I predict ten minutes from now, they’ll be at each other’s throats with warpaint on their faces and a pig head on a stick. Good. It was getting a little chummy around here.

Lorraine: If I was sick, could I do this?

Lorraine: [doesn’t move]

Thomas: What are you doing?

Lorraine: Cartwheels. Am I not doing them?

I have never taken the high road. But I tell other people to, ‘cause then there’s more room for me on the low road.
—  Lucifer Morningstar

Jordan: Scenario. You pull a car over for speeding. You find out that it’s your father. How do you handle the situation?

Andor: Well first I would be like… Dad? You’re alive? What the hell?

Ella: Everybody brings their own unique strengths to the table, some that even I don’t have.

Tiana: You shut your mouth! You have ALL the strengths.

  • Xie Lian: Aww you had a crush on me...that's embarrassing.
  • Hua Cheng: We're married.
  • Xie Lian: Still...