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My year old just asked me "Why don't they have a patient ?" ๐Ÿ™ƒ




Hello Garnets ๐Ÿ’• Gostaria de compartilhar com vocรชs, a era SIXTEEN chega para todos e nรฃo tem como comemorar os 16 anos sem ser com o Samuel.



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I'm proud of my girl. โ˜บ Her first VARSITY season in the books! ๐ŸŽ‰ ๐Ÿ‘ Now onto club volleyball and powerlifting! ๐Ÿ’ช๐Ÿ’™๐Ÿ˜



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Flash back Friday! Lol on left me and my hubby in the 7th grade for our very first date at the Valentine's dance. On right was right after he propsed and put the ring on my finger. I love him so much and have loved him for 16 years. years







How is it possible that today my favorite boy in the world is 16?! I canโ€™t believe it. I love you beyond words Kolsten and I hope you have the best day!!!!!




Donโ€™t leave it too late to give your business the best Christmas present ever! An office at fabulous . Spaces to suit every business. . Contact Tim Carter 07904622278.






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Donโ€™t leave it too late to give your business the best Christmas present ever! An office at fabulous . Spaces to suit every business. . Contact Tim Carter 07904622278.




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9

If you’d just focus on me
Like we were sixteen
And planning our lives
Can I wear your t-shirt
And sleep on you
While I dream of all the good times?

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Day fifteen: it wasn’t too good. I felt like a bad friend but I didn’t know why. But on the bright side, I’m almost satisfied with something I’m writing which literally never happens haha.

Day sixteen: this video is just… interesting.

My, Oh, My. My Sonshine is Sixteen.

Time flies when you’re having fun. The realization that my kid is almost as old as I was when he came into my life is mindblowing. 

I don’t know what I ever did to deserve Jeremy in my life. I feel like every day he gives me the gift of life. From the good morning kisses, to the compliments on my outfits, to the random acts of kindness I honestly feel that through it all I am given a gift of unconditional love day in and day out.

It’s hard to not be emotional this time of year, but his presence uplifts me and is a reminder of why the little things are so important. Every year around his birthday we have a round of appointments - nephrology, cardiology, and now sleep clinic. Every time I walk into Children’s Hospital I feel like I want to regress to 17 year old me and crawl into a corner because I don’t know what the doctors will think. As the years have gone by, Jeremy has taken on the caretaker role. He literally goes in there unafraid and unbothered. His courage and positive attitude give me the strength to stay optimistic (even when that’s not always possible).

Birthdays mean he’s a year older every year. They mean that we’ll have to learn to navigate a whole new system. We’ll have to face the world and I’ll have to continue to worry about whether or not they’ll show him the kindness that I know for sure he’ll put out. 

But…I’ll take a cue from Jeremy’s playbook and try not worry. We’ll spend the day telling stories from when he was a little boy, of all his favorite things, and how much people love him. If there’s one thing he knows is the importance of people showing love. May Sixteen be as sweet as you, son. You deserve the world!

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Dear God,

Thank you for gifting me another year in life. The past year has taught me a lot of lessons to carry as I start another chapter of my adventure. I wish to be a blessing and give more happiness to everyone. As I continue, may you shower me with love and give me guidance. I hope that you will help me hold peace in my heart and kindness through my actions.

Another year, another beginning. I’m going to start again. This time, with faith.

C.H.

El me golpeo

Sentí una caricia

La caricia de un Ángel

Ame el duro tacto de su puño en mi mejilla

Seguía gritando algo que no puedo recordar

Lo único que puedo recordar es el tacto

Me tomo del cuello y me dejo sin aire

Y yo me reí

Encontraba la situación divertida

Me gustaba que mi vida estuviera literalmente, en sus manos.

Me beso, era un beso duro, podías jurar que estaba lleno de odio

Lo sentía con pasion

Con locura

Con todo lo que siempre deseé sentir

Sentía el duro tacto de su mano en mi cuello

Luego me soltó

Empecé a llorar

Ni yo lo entendía

Entonces me abrazo

Me dijo que me amaba

Me dio un beso, pero esta vez fue diferente

Era un beso dulce

Como si todas las emociones pasadas no hubiesen ocurrido

Como si hace 2 minutos mi vida no hubiese estado en sus manos

Me beso suave, pero lo sentía duro, sentia en ese beso todo el odio que quería

Y llorando sonreí

VN

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11-1-19

i forgot about my entries for the last two days. 10-30 i went to my schools trunk or treat with my brother, he has adhd and doesnt really know when he says something and it’s embarrassing so i told him not to talk about me at my school and he said “im just not going to talk at all and follow you around”, but then he talked about me to my close friend and when we got home he told our mom that i told him not to speak and i never said that and i told my mom what he said but of course she took my brothers side and was being mean and i got really upset. my mom always tells me to interact more with my brother and the one day i do im the one that gets in trouble and he didnt even say thank you. 10-31 was my birthday and it was pretty okay, a little rough when i got home because my mol started to drink some beers and i hate when she drinks and ahe was making me anxious because i had plans to hang out with my best friend and crush. and then my mom was making it a big deal that i was hanging out with my crush and saying all these what ifs but honestly he’s very oblivious to everything. and of course i got sad about my birthday because im getting older and i still felt pretty alone even though a lot of people said happy birthday to me. the insecurity in me really jumped out today, i always feel like im not included in everyone else and that people think im weird or annoying. and as for today, well i dont know it’s 1 am so i’ll check back in later if i remember

I might be the only one who ever saw it like this, But Jonesy and Jen from ‘Sixteen’ and Derek and Casey from 'Life With Derek’ were basically the same 'step siblings who drive each other nuts but have a little secret thing from other’ ship. Like I know in 'Sixteen’ Jonesy dated Nikki but she was definitely a lesbian and while they had their cute moments I never shipped them. Maybe it’s my Dasey vision but I just keep thinking Jonesy And Jen would have been That Ship.

16. Wild.

Sara, mind you, was a turbulent force.
In her mind, intensity grabbed at her;
she sometimes drove her Camry off course
to catch glimpses of sunsets on film, blurred.
Routine: little known. Spontaneity:
preferred. Some nights called for music; guitars.
Others for floors, to dance, sing, break. Variety
is what Sara liked in more than flowers. 
So to hear him say she was Not Wild
and then Too Good, as if she often behaved
any rules but her own. Forced smile. Riled.
Yet her eyes held no storm; only held daze.
Unable to voice her recklessness aloud;
she knew no man could make her unallowed. 

We walk at gunpoint, the five of us. I think we all know that we are not those who have been deemed worthy of life. I don’t see much of the others’ reactions. I’m still overwhelmed with the revelation of who I was. What I did. I hadn’t believed myself capable of atrocity on such a scale. When it came to it, I thought I had it in me to be a good person. I was wrong.

Tears stream down my face. I’m past caring who sees me cry. Dignity is such a tiny, unfathomably meaningless thing, in the face of my worse self. This is grief, I think. Not for the life I’m about to lose. I unquestionably deserve execution for my crimes. The crimes I don’t remember. I think I’m grieving the person I dared to hope I might be. And maybe the bliss of ignorance. At least I won’t have to live with this knowledge for long. I don’t want to.

Still, it’s no small thing to look into the airlock and imagine the killing void on the other side. The pain in ears, sinuses, lungs. The water boiling from the mouth and the surface of the eyes. The outrushing of breath that will never be retrieved.

The others are imagining it too. We all hesitate, despite the guns behind us.
“Can’t you just shoot us?” one of my fellows asks bitterly. I don’t remember what name they picked for themself, we’ve barely talked. And I can’t see their number, their jumpsuit is folded down and tied at the waist like mine. I can’t bring myself to care who they are.
“You can walk into the airlock,” the android tells them coldly, “Or I can shoot your knees out and you can crawl.”
It’s such a petty, pointless bit of cruelty. I’m angry, I think. Distantly, behind the grief. But I’m not surprised.

We choose to walk. The doors close behind us with terrible finality. Machinery begins to spin up. Listening to the hum in the walls, I wonder if they’re going to depressurise responsibly and let us pass out in here, or actually chuck us out straight into hard vacuum. Somehow I suspect the latter.

The person opposite me is sobbing, scared.
“I heard that if you breathe out, it doesn’t hurt as much,” I say.
“It doesn’t make a difference,” someone else claims. I don’t have the energy to dispute it. We won’t have time anyway. Maybe I’ll hit my head on the way out, I think, but I’m not optimistic. It’s only meant to take a minute or two to cycle, how long can that take? It feels like forever. In a way I guess it is, for us.

Maybe the doors will open slowly enough that we’ll be pasted against the gap when the air rushes out. I don’t know if that would be better or worse. Probably worse. I wish I didn’t have to think about it. I wonder if any of the others will miss me, when they reach the colony without me. Do they know I’ve been marched away to my death? Do they know who I was before? I hope not. I hope they don’t grieve.

And then the doors blow open, and the starfield spins, and my eyes scrunch shut against the alien sensation. I remember to breathe out and there isn’t really time to process whether it hurts too much because

I am

      ceasing

                  to be.