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Ennyi volt…

És arra is rá kellett jönnöm, hogy igazából soha nem is volt reális esélyem.

i do, too.

I am stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stuuupidd. So what am I standing here for? I thought I’d be happy. Because I deserve to be happy. And you with your pretty face is so unhealthy for me. I’d hate how you’ll look at me and stare at me in silence and tell me you like my incoherency and my smile and my laughter and my poor judgement and me, and I’d hate you because I couldn’t believe you. Because you are ridiculously, hurtfully, stupidly, beautiful. You with your limpid eyes. You with your logic and absurdity. You and your every definition. Would you let me in? Or was I just reading the wrong signs. I’ve never been good at reading signs. I’ve never been good at expressing how I feel. Either I say too much or I say nothing at all. Or the worse, I say all the wrong things. Me, and my stupid mouth. So next time, I’d let you do the talking. But there really isn’t next time, is there? And its killing me because my mind and fingers can’t keep quiet right now. I feel like I’m going to explode. It feels like there’s a hot fire inside my chest. I want to scream your name and write angry inks on the walls of my room.  I wish I said what I should’ve said.

I love you. Stay.