Straight Mark Headcanons (yes I’m serious)

Okay listen I’m all for Mark being gay, but canonically he has dated at least one girl nobody else makes headcanons relating Mark/Girl so I guess I’m gonna have to

Also I’m having a bad day so most of these are fluffy, enjoy

• Whenever he goes out to a coffee shop or something he spends the whole time planning how he’ll talk to the cute girl sitting a few tables away, by the time he’s calmed himself down she’s already left
• Sometimes he’s super good at hiding his anxiety, after talking to someone he goes to Roger and stresses the f u c k out while Roger is like ???? Because Mark looked totally okay talking to the girl
• But other times he gets sent back to his 14 year old self and completely loses any fake confidence he has and just stubbles over every word and blushes like crazy
• MARK LOVES HOLDING HANDS
• A lot of the time his girlfriends are taller than him
• He hates people touching his hair, but when it’s his girlfriend he’ll completely melt
• Whenever he forgets a date or an anniversary he feels horrible and does /so much/ to try to make it up even when it’s not a big deal
• He pour his heart and soul into his relationships
• One time he saved up for months to buy his girlfriend a necklace and he was so excited about giving it to her
• He tries to convince himself he isn’t clingy but he totally is
• When he was a teenager he wrote poetry about girls he had crushes on, he never told anyone about it, not even Roger
• He’s super sweet 99% of the time, but if someone ever does something bad to his girlfriend he will get super intimidating and yell them out. There’s some people you shouldn’t mess with when they’re mad and Mark is one of them
• Whenever he’s single the thing he misses the most is cuddling someone while sleeping
• He used to be a barista and whenever he would make coffee for a cute girl he’d make a dumb doodle, like a heart or a smiley face next to their name
• He absolutely loves taking pictures of his girlfriend, when he’s in a relationship she’ll always be the highlight of his films
• He writes screenplays and one of the female characters is always named after his current crush (this usually changes if he stops crushing on them)
• He’s kept most of the things his past girlfriends have given him, not because he’s not over them, just because he hates throwing out gifts, he also likes the memories attached to the gifts
• His favorite type of date is bringing a girl to the loft so they can binge watch a ton of movies and discuss them afterwards
• Those milkshakes with two straws? Yeah those are His Shit