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“When people violated all your boundaries throughout childhood🥺, it’s difficult to let your guards down to have healthy meaningful relationships in adulthood.”😣

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In the arithmetic of love, one plus one equals everything and two minus one equals nothing.” ― Mignon McLaughlin

Mindset is so important to how we view the work that we do, the relationships we form and our overall approach to life. Keeping your mindset in check is crucial.

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Hello, I'm Vilma, originally from . I'm a card reader with 21 years' experience. I offer and with all aspects of day-to-day life; whether it be issues with , , , , or . Use PIN 1667 😊

Looking forward to sharing her wisdom around at the Relationship event on 24 Nov . A few tickets remaining.

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The Pittsburgh Post-Gazette; November 14th, 1975.

anonymous asked:

Me and her were at ome point more than just friend before she went back to her ex, now current boyfriend. I haven't been able to move on. I've tried to be just a friend but its hasn't worked out. Yesterday she had a pregnancy scare and I reacted poorly, along with everyone else she knew. I however, may have been the worst. I regret how I acted but I can't change that but she is not doing so well. Is there anyway I could be there for her while she is upset and doesn't want to talk?

Sounds like you’re not ready to be her friend right now. Instead of trying to be there for her when she doesn’t want to talk to you, maybe it’s time to get some space, so that you can really move on from her. Maybe you can be genuine friends in the future, but that can only happen if you genuinely only want to be friends, and you’re not secretly pining after her and resenting her boyfriend and wishing she would fall in love with you. It doesn’t sound like what you have now is really a friendship, and it sounds like you know that.

She’s going through something stressful right now, and she doesn’t need you to be around “reacting poorly” and stressing her out even more. It sounds like a break from being friends would be healthy for both of you. 

Oh boy

It’s time for me to be lonely and nervous that the girl I was with last week doesn’t wanna hang out with me again and it was a one-time thing. Logically I don’t think so because we’ve been texting at least every other day since then and also she was out of town a bunch but subconsciously I still am like FUCK

One thing I hate about having BPD is the chronic emptiness. Being in a relationship helps but when you can’t be with that person as much as possible you’re left feeling alone and empty. I tried so hard not to get attached to him but I’m starting to miss him when he’s not with me. He’s convinced he’s in love with me even though it’s only been a month since we started dating. And I’m so hesitant because of all the pain and loss that I’ve been through. I just don’t know where to share how I’m feeling about this. Maybe if anyone could give advice about how to deal with the emptiness? Or even how to balance feelings so that they’re not completely obsessive or completely distant? Idk. Thanks for reading.

anonymous asked:

my gf and I are play mean to each other like pushing each other and rolling our eyes and calling each other dumb and just in general being "Bitchy" to each other but it's all lighthearted. The other day my friend told me it's unhealthy and might become more aggressive or one of us will cross the lineover time. Do you think that's a thing?

lgsldkgj silas and i are the same way, he calls it being bastard4bastard. i remember we were teasing each other on sunbutch one day and someone called it unhealthy, but it’s just how we express affection for each other! it’s not necessarily a bad thing at all, as long as you’re both comfortable and happy with that kind of interaction


Is there any issues of “turning someone gay”? A recurring male character has only had girlfriends that never worked out. He asks for help one day and Eros (Yes, the Greek God) responds. Then he finds himself falling in love for another guy who’s already out and they have a successful relationship.

Neither of them know of Eros’ existence but most my main characters do. I do want it to be a case of “he’s gay but hadn’t figured out himself yet” and Eros knew that’s why he wasn’t having any luck with girls.

But then, if you think about it, it actually IS totally within Eros’ power to just make anyone fall in love with another, regardless of sexual orientation or any other factor.


Most of the issues I think are here are mostly about consent and the ethics of that. When it comes to magic intervention in people’s love lives, that gets really dicey. I think I mentioned this before, but a lot of contemporary witchcraft practitioners have talked a lot about this issue. The general consensus is that it is okay to do spells to vaguely wish for more love/romance to come to you, but it is inappropriate to get another specific person involved who has not consented to that. 

If Eros is not facing any serious reprecussions in your story, then I think you need to make sure that Eros doesn’t get involved with these people’s ability to choose to consent or not, or who they get with. I’d probably depict it as being some kind of vaguer ‘romance will come this way’ or ‘speeding up the self-discovery process/confidence boost/general charisma’ kind of thing. Whatever has been holding him back from feeling like he can be vulnerable and himself around other people, he now has help lifting, and comfort and safety to be able to sort it out.

In your story, if reading it, readers can easily understand that this character was gay and just didn’t go through his self discovery process yet, then I don’t think I would be too worried about the “turning someone gay” as being an issue. It’s another bucket of worms if you do want to do that, and my short hypothetical answer to that would that it would probably be bad and need intense harm reduction at minimum - but since that’s not what you’re going for, I’m going to advise you on what you are going for.

I think it would be advisable to do some more research on what people go through when they self-realize. The first year or so when people come out (assuming it’s of own volition, among other things), it’s like our futures have opened up and pathways and boxes holding us in are something we’ve finally been able to liberate ourselves from. It’s been almost a decade (or like, 11 years since I first tried to come out as not-straight? like 7.5 years as nonbinary. jeez time flies) since I first came out and I’m still making “I’m gay” typography and meme posts on main because that reinforcement of these futures inside of me and confidence I have now is still there, albeit in a more rounded sense, every time I say it.

In the beginning I was questioning myself constantly (I still am but have more resolved perspectives on it) and this included going over memories I have and psycho-analyzing myself about what I felt then and why.

I think if you featured your character looking back on a feeling from before Eros got involved, and realized he was gay then too, you should have no problem.

- mod nat

i think our underlying problem right now is how scared we actually are about close friendships and relationships. how extremely scared and terrified we are. or some of us.

we dont act like it. we dont push people away or avoid them, at least not much, and when we do it’s more connected to depression and low self-worth. but we do have lots and lots of subtle problems that stem from this fear. or maybe they’re not so subtle and maybe we do act like it, but it’s not something we can see clearly ourselves.

we grew up with messages about friendship and love that were poison and were upside down completely. like lies and silence are the 90% of the iceberg under the surface. that the lies and silence supposedly needed to be maintained. that speaking up or even just asking for clarification was the worst we could do and could break and shatter everything. that honesty would destroy relationships. that we’d be punished. that we’d hurt the other person and that it would be our fault and that it would be because we are evil deep inside.

also, that we endanger the people we love. that they would get hurt because of us. that we would get punished yet again. that they would get hurt and it would be our fault.

these are all things we learned as children. over and over and over again. in the most painful and traumatic ways possible. these are all things that sit very very deeply inside.

it hurts so much. i hope we can even survive this kind of pain.

friendships are the most important thing in our life. it’s what we live for. nothing else can mean anything without human connections and bonds and relationships, without friendships. WE would certainly not have a meaning or a sense of self-worth without them. I think humans are dependent on relationships like we are on air and water and food. and that’s especially true for us personally. we also choose this. at least a lot of us do, and we as a whole (insofar as there is such a thing) chose to make friendships/relationships the most important aspect of our life.

-please don-t reblög -

To My Dearest Wife, V

You are unlikely to find this post throughout the whirlwinds of your days and most of these things I can say to you, so it might seem funny that i write them here. 

And yet, some days I feel like i just can’t tell you enough how much you mean to me and how much I care for you. Sometimes, even as we snuggle whispering I love yous, I feel like there is a depth that I am trying to express that simple words can not grasp.

And so I will write you these notes in hopes that one day, you might find them and know that on nights when you are ready asleep or on my tough days, I am thinking of you. 

I consider your embrace one of my deepest joys. I never feel like I belong somewhere more than when you wrap me up and rest your head on my chest. You make me feel strong and delicate at the same time. 

You may think this is weird, but when I’m in the dentist chair and the uncomfortableness of a small drill attacking my teeth is causing all kinds of unease, I think of you. I think of you and I’m able to leave where I am for awhile and suddenly the strange or anxious situation I’m in, is left behind. 

In short, I love you, and I’m still looking for new ways to show you. 

Yours, Forever.

“I have the biggest crush on you,” he says.

What I hear:

“I’m going to get you addicted to good mornings and good nights. I’m going to be sweet and innocent for a while but soon pressure will come down because you’re my girlfriend, and you have to do girlfriend things. I’m going to be angry when you flinch away from me. I’m going to be irritated when you text too much, call too much, need too much reassurance than I expect from you. I’m going to leave you. Nothing lasts forever honey and you’ll just be another notch in my bed frame. ;).

You’re going to be begging me to come back, come crawling to me, you’re going to be ruined and suicidal from me. I’m going to ruin you in any way possible.”

And I can only react to this deluded narrative I’ve crafted in my mind. It could be my one true love and I’d still choke out the words, “not… interested.”

But if you could see into my heart you’d understand I’m afraid like a caged bird in a room full of cats, knowing if I don’t make myself daunting enough I’ll be ripped to shreds.

People say that you don’t realize what you had until its gone and usually, they’re talking about a special someone. In my case, I say I realized what I had and I’m sure as hell am glad they’re gone! 

thank u, next
cover by obsessivenostalgicbaby
thank u, next

I open up a lot by changing some of the lyrics to real people’s names and my family situations in this and uh… I hope nobody is mad. I love you all. (if you are tagged, please listen to it and the words, I want you to hear it <3)

@fragilelikeabomb0106 @bloodreadlipstick @michaelfuckinglangdon @comedy-cookie @yung-ariana @zackypuke @zombierose3 @adeandrik @thecallofdarkness