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mental health update

i’ve been really going through it and family life has been really, really bad after i found out some stuff i wasn’t supposed to know and i feel like i’m kind of.. trapped in a cage. my social life at school hasn’t really helped the situation but that’s okay, i know i still have people who support me and love me.

i’m holding out hope for the day i go to college far away from here and i’m desperately trying to stay alive for that. i know that it has to get better than this. it can only go up from here.

if ur reading this, remember there’s always an end to the bad. always.

I’ve been good friends with a staff member at my school for maybe three months now and she’s really sweet ok like I genuinely think we’re friends…

And that’s so weird to me !!

Why would someone just want to be my friend… I mean she doesn’t want anything from me, there’s no personal gain, she doesn’t hurt me. She just genuinely or at least I hope so cares. I’ve cried in front of her, even had a panic attack. She helps me so much almost every day.

And is this what I’ve been missing out on ?? All these years everybody has just been abusive or just left me even if they say they won’t and it’s such a bittersweet, strange, new thing.

It’s kind of scary having someone care though, it really is. There’s no pattern I have to learn, no outbursts from her. I want to hug her so tight but then stay away and keep a wall up as she calls it just so once I trust her she won’t hurt me or use it against me….

I’ve grown so used to abuse, I’m just slowly but surely learning what it’s like to not be hurt.

Thoughts

Discover yourself while having fun along the way. Don’t be too serious while on your path to discovery. I know serious things happen and you must take those things seriously, but don’t leave yourself with no happy memories to think about. Make sure you always have a memory which puts a smile on your face when you think about it. Have fun getting to know yourself!

“The less you respond to negativity, the more peaceful your life becomes.”

You are loved

You are important

You are loved

You are needed

You are beautiful

You matter

You can do anything you put your mind to

You’re great

You are cared for

You are never alone

Please don’t give up. You can do this and we’re all in this together.

Small things in life

💞 The smell of rain

💞 Bath bombs and the fizzy noise

💞 The sound of snow crunching underneath your feet

💞 A warm hug from a loved one and feeling safe

💞 Being licked by an animal

💞 Slipping on fuzzy socks

💞 Putting on an outfit that just got out of the dryer

💞 Laying on freshly cleaned sheets

💞 Going outside and feeling the breeze hit your face

💞 Feeling the warmth of the sun hit your skin

💞 Finally laying down after a long day and letting go

💞 The sounds of birds chirping greeting you in the morning

💞 The sound of crickets and owls at night

💞 Taking a deep breath in the middle of a stressful time in your life and just letting yourself live in the moment. You’re alive and breathing, So why not appreciate and look at all that’s in front of you? The world may seem like a tough place but we forgot sometimes to look at the better parts of it. All you have to do is look for it. Stay strong lovelies, Always.

The law always limits every power it gives.
— 

David Hume