- I DONT WANT SDLC TO END.
I’ve been thinking a lot since I saw Junot Diaz speak at the NAIS POCC about hope. He said that you have to “hope against hope” and it reminded me of a column by Jessica Valenti in The Nation, where she wrote, “The truth is—despite stereotypes that paint feminists as forever negative—doing feminist work requires boundless optimism. It means believing that people have the ability to be better, that culture can change, and maybe even that people who hate can learn to love. It’s exhausting.” And then somewhere in the middle of breaking up, K and I discussed our different approaches to activism: his investment in small, but achievable progress, a pessimism of sorts and my despair over the lack of progress, the unbelievably long road ahead, my unwillingness to settle for anything less than the ideal. It makes me sad, the world we live in. Sometimes I sporadically cry about it. Like when I read a report about an advisee of mine leaving a special science program, wondering if more support for her - rather than more labor on her behalf - could have made the difference in her ability to succeed in the program.
The faith I have in the potential for change makes me sad, but makes me want to live. I think it’s the difference for me from the depression besot by feeling worthless while in college, not smart enough, not accomplished enough, not impressive, and the sadness and anger that I feel now, that keep me tormented and yet excited, that make me want to continue to “build beautiful things in our broken, but still magical world.”
Oh! I forgot to mention this but tomorrow I’m flying into DC to go to a thing called POCC/SDLC which stands for People of Color Conference/Student Diversity Leadership Conference and I have heard wonderful things about it and am very excited! I know a lot of y'all are leaders of student diversity in various ways so it just occurred to me that it’s possible someone I know on Tumblr will be there in real life which would be very cool indeed. Let me know if so!
i'm thoroughly upset that SDLC is over.
i miss everyone.
it felt like such a family and now i feel like i can’t relate to anyone except the people at SDLC.
not to mention i never got the name and number of that kid in my region…. which is also very upsetting because he was very attractive.
god i miss everyone.
such a life changing experience.
i wish i could praise it more but there’s just no words to do so.