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Truncated Octahedron Lamp - Hanging Ceiling Pendant










I made an lamp that can hang from ceilings. One of the original solids. Amazing what precision you can get w/ lasers



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Hitchhiker

Summary: Companion fic to Concentrate. Patton and Virgil rely on each other while they wait for Logan to wake up.

Warnings: discussion of surgery/illness, someone’s in a coma, anxiety, crying, little bit of swears

Pairings: Moxiety…romantic or platonic? Up to you.

Tagged: @ziallwarrior @thefallendog Please feel me to message me if you want to be tagged!

Notes: Some hurt/comfort Moxiety for the soul. Also, Roman’s in this too, I guess. Enjoy!

Four Days Post-Op

Virge? Honey? Please tell me you’ve haven’t been here all night. We have a meeting and you’re supposed to work later.”

Virgil stirred awake slowly and drew a giggle from Patton when he squeaked around in the hard plastic chair. Patton quickly shook the laughter from his face and fixed the trauma surgeon with his trademark Dad glare. He had to be serious; Virgil was on a crash course to a full breakdown if he kept this pace up. “You know I can’t lie, Pat. Now please tell me you have coffee somewhere in that lab coat.”

 “There’s coffee at the meeting…Virge, you can’t keep doing this to yourself. Going directly from work to sitting here day in and day out; it’s not healthy. He’ll wake up.”

“You don’t know that,” Virgil snapped.

“Okay, you’re right, I don’t know that. But I have hope that he will. And I have faith in Roman and his team that they are doing everything they can for him. All you can do is trust the process, kiddo. And take care of yourself. Logan needs you strong right now, not in a hospital bed with him because you’re burnt out and sick.”

Virgil’s head dropped and he sighed shakily, trying to hide the growing wetness on his cheeks. “Do you know what the last thing I said to him was? ‘Are you using drugs?’ He’s been sober for years and I accused him of throwing all of that away when he was sick the whole time.”

Patton sighed and grabbed Virgil’s hand. “You can’t beat yourself up for that, hon. He has a history. And with the way you said he was acting, I would have thought the same thing.”

“Yeah, but I didn’t just ask him the one time. I grilled him about it because I didn’t believe him. And then he lost function of his hand and then Roman was scanning him and then he was in surgery having a freaking brain tumor removed and the whole time I was working. I never got the chance to say…how sorry I am.” Virgil looked up to meet Patton’s eyes, not even bothering to hide the tears freely flowing down his face. “Pat, he has to make it. I can’t let that be the last thing I said to him.”

“Ssh, come here, honey, it’s okay, it’s okay,” the fetal surgeon couldn’t stand watching his friend break apart for a second longer. He slid into Virgil’s lap and pulled the other doctor into his chest and let Virgil wrap his arms around Patton’s middle, holding on for dear life. “It’s okay that you’re hurting, love. It says that you care for him and that’s so incredible. I know you don’t feel like it right now but you are an incredible friend.“

"What if he never wakes up, Pat?”

“Don’t go there until we are there, Virge. I know it’s scary but like I said, try to have faith. And if you can’t, well, then I will have faith for both of us that you will have every chance to tell him how much you love him when he wakes up. You will have that chance, Virge, you will.”

"But-”

“Let go of the buts, kiddo. Well…except for mine. If you let me go, then call me Fall Out Boy because I’m going down swinging on this hospital floor.”

Virgil had to laugh at that despite his tears. A Fall Out Boy pun? Patton was pulling out all of stops to try and cheer the sullen surgeon up. Fortunately, it was actually working. The young doctor sniffed and wiped his eyes, his crying finally ceasing. “I hope to God or whatever the hell is out there that you’re right…Patton?”

“Yes, love? What is it?”

“Can you, like, get off me? You’re sweet and all but you’re giving me varicose veins.” Virgil smirked. His eyes were still red and puffy but the release of tension brought some of the life back into him. Patton gasped and playfully swatted at the trauma surgeon’s shoulder. “Unbelievable! Fine, I wanted to get up anyway. You’re ripe; you need a shower.”

“Rude. Don’t insult my cologne. Eau de Hospital is hot these days.” Patton laughed heartily, grateful to see his Virgil recovering a bit. “But seriously…thanks, Pat. I needed to snap out of all…this. For a while, at least.”

“And you’re going home after the meeting, right? And eating something before you crash instead of sleeping on an empty stomach like you know I can’t stand-?”

“Ughhhh, yes, Dad, fine, fine, I hear you. I will do better. Promise.”

“That’s the spirit, kiddo. Go on ahead of me, I’ll meet you there.” Once Virgil left the room, Patton walked around to the edge of the hospital bed where a motionless cardiologist lay. He stared down at Logan, stroked his hair, and leaned into his space, whispering with unshed tears in his own eyes. “Logan Taylor. You come back to us, you hear me? That’s an order. Wake. Up!…please.” He quickly pressed his lips tight to keep his voice from cracking further, took a deep breath and left the room as silent as he entered it.​

Ten Days Post-Op

Patton was on edge today. There was no way around it; no flowery way to describe how he felt, no hiding it behind a sunny mask. He just felt…bad. Despite his feelings, cursedly he was still a surgeon. He had patients to take care of, patients that needed him, other patients than the one that kept running through his mind. No, Patton couldn’t go there. He had to be a doctor today. He had to do surgery. His legs took him to the OR where he donned a mask and scrubbed, exactly four minutes. They then wandered him to where the chief calls “onstage” and for the first time today, Patton heard sound.

“Dr. Parker? Your surgical gown?”

Patton stared at the resident briefly before the words spoken to him registered. Myers. Great. The overenthusiastic resident with a propensity for overstepping his boundaries. Normally, Patton enjoyed working with the energetic, young surgeon as he was very invested in learning. But today Patton’s well of effervescent bubbliness was dried up, leaving him with very thin patience.

“I’m sorry, yes, go ahead, Myers,” Patton said tiredly, holding out his arms. “Are you ready? This is a very complicated surgery, I need everyone in this room to be prepared.”

“Dr. Parker, of course I’m prepared, how could you ask me that, I’m the bomb dot com!”

“Curb the enthusiasm, Myers, I need focus today.” Yikes, harsh, buddy. Patton really needed to chill.

“Yes, sir. Absolutely. Super focused.” Myers did a mock salute or at least attempted to. The wild swing of his arm collided with a tray of instruments, causing the whole thing to come crashing to the ground. The sound was unbearable and Patton just barely stopped himself from breaking scrub by bracing his hands on the OR table. “Damn it, Myers! This is an OR, not a jungle gym! Stop swinging your arms around like a monkey and get focused or get the hell out!”

It was as if someone had pressed pause in OR 3. No one moved or spoke while they attempted to process Patton’s heightened frustration boiling over, an emotion which he rarely ever showed. Finally, a scrub nurse spoke up and the video started to roll forward again.

“Dr. Parker? Are you all right?”

No, Patton thought, I’m not all right but he has no choice not to be. He had to be there for his patient, had to be strong for Virgil and Roman, had to be positive for Logan. So instead, he screwed on his best smile, apologized, and performed the most detached (but thankfully successful) surgery of his life. His legs then took him out of the OR and into the attendings’ lounge where his fingers paged Virgil. An eternity of staring at tile passed before he vaguely recognized the sound of a door opening and a weight pressing next to him, arms wrapped securely around his body. Patton felt so safe in these arms. Secure. Comforted. Finally and without words, he let go.

“Oh, Pat, I was wondering when this would happen. You’ve been so strong, so good. Let someone help you for once; it’s okay to need us.”

Patton remembered what it was to talk without yelling and sat up, wiping his eyes. “I know, Virge, I know, I just…I yelled at a resident today. Just screamed at him. I have never done that in my whole career.”

“Why, Pat? What happened?”

Patton scoffed. “It’s silly…he knocked over a tray of instruments and the sound made me think of when Logan dropped that clamp and…well, you know.”

Virgil nodded. “No, Pat, it’s not silly. That must have been scary to witness. It’s okay that you were scared.”

“You should have seen the look on his face, Virge, he was sheet white and terrified, I thought he was going to stroke out right there. And that sound…loudest sound I’ve ever heard.” Patton paused for a moment. “Virge…how long before his healthcare directive states his desire for life-saving care to be withdrawn?”

Virgil sighed heavily, his voice cracking while he spoke. They both knew the answer. “Fourteen days.” Patton let out another sob at that. “And before you ask…it’s day ten.”

“Oh my God.” There was silence for a long time before Patton spoke again. “I don’t want my last memory of him to be something scary, Virge. And I…I don’t k-know what’s going to happen but God, I hope we have a shot at some happier times than…this.”

Virgil squeezed his arms tighter around the fetal surgeon. “Faith, Pat, remember? We’re having faith.”

A door opened behind them and a blur of a white coat flew past. “Roman?”

The neurosurgeon turned around, tears streaming down his face. “Oh my God, I’m- I’m sorry. I thought…I thought I was alone.”

Both doctors stood up, anticipating horrifying news. It was Virgil who actually asked the question hanging in the air. “Roman…what is it?”

Roman’s mouth gaped like a fish, too overcome to speak. “It…it’s Logan.”

“Court, I swear to God, if you don’t tell me what happened to him, you’re gonna be the one who needs medical attention.” Virgil’s heart raced while Patton gripped his hand, squeezing it past the point of pain. Roman took another second to collect himself before finally delivering the news.

“He’s awake.”

Anniversary

(Just a lil thing for Virgil’s name day. Hope you enjoy- Shy)

Today had been strange. Not strange in a bad way, in fact he was feeling as happy as he remembered being, but just strange.

First of all, Patton had made him special pancakes for breakfast even through he wasn’t feeling down and it wasn’t a special occasion (wait, had he forgotten something? What had he forgotten?) and had then presented him with a bat onesie while beaming at him. Virgil had nearly started to tear up, so he hugged Patton to hide his shiny eyes. Then they’d cuddled up on the couch to watch Steven Universe together. It was wonderful.

Later that day Roman had invited him to his room, which was rare as Roman kept his room quite private, and Virgil knew it was a sign of trust that he was bringing him there so casually. However, instead of the harebrained adventure he’d been expecting, he’d been taken to  a dimly lit room by a grinning Roman. The room was dark enough to not make his eyes uncomfortable, but light enough for him to see clearly so he wasn’t overly nervous. He wondered if it was deliberate or just a coincidence. Then they’d sat on the plush floor and Roman had played Black Cauldron on the wall in front of them which had somehow become a large screen. When asked why he was doing this, Roman had simply chuckled and said that Virgil mentioned it was his favourite Disney movie in the Q and A video they’d done ages ago.

Finally he’d had a game of chess with Logan while the room turned to stars and planets around them. For only the second time, Virgil had beaten the logical side. He suspected that Logan had let him win from the soft smile he gave when he thought Virgil wasn’t looking. Playing chess with Logan was something Virgil really enjoyed, as it channelled his naturally cautious nature into something productive and fun. Plus he got to spend time with Logan, which he felt he didn’t do enough.

Just while he was pondering why all this was happening, there were three gentle knocks on the door. Patton. When Virgil said he could come in, Patton opened the door, practically vibrating with happiness. Virgil came over to him and Patton slowly reached out to hold his hand, giving him plenty of time to pull away. When he didn’t, Patton lead him down the hallway to the commons, where Roman and Logan were waiting underneath a banner that said ‘Happy Virgil Day!’ Upon seeing it, Virgil gaped. Yeah, it was the anniversary of the day he’d told them his name, but he wasn’t expecting anything.

Logan walked over to him. “Virgil, as today is the anniversary of us accepting you as we always should have done, we have spent the day trying to make you feel as relaxed and accepted as possible. Now, if you would like, we can play some fun party games and listen to your favourite music. Would you enjoy this?”

 Virgil smiled wide as he felt tears brimming at the sight of his amazing friends who’d spent a while day making him happy. He couldn’t have asked for a better family.

 "Yeah, I’d love that. Can we play Mario Kart? I still need to kick Princey’s butt at it. “

Thank You

Fandom: Sanders Sides

Pairings: Platonic LAMP

Rating: General 

Brief Description: It’s been a year since Virgil told the others his name, and he could never be happier.

Word Count: 645

Notes: this was written to celebrate the anniversary of accepting anxiety part two! because, honestly, that video has helped me so much in the past, i still love it, i actually cannot believe it’s been a year. but! here we are! hope y’all enjoy~

also on ao3

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Far, far away (and hazy like a dream) - Chapter Four

Something happens, but nothing happens. And then nothing happens some more, and it’s most peculiar.

Also, sometimes the only thing you can actually do is to wait.

TW: A rather copious amount of suicidal thoughts in this chapter, although not graphic. Self-deprecation.

Previous Chapter | Following Chapter

Consciousness came to him slowly. Although he obviously just slept, he felt exhausted, and his eyes felt salty and swollen with eyelids basically glued together, as if he went to bed crying. Already a great start to a new… day? Afternoon?

He pried his eyes open to check and a wave of disorientation hit him. It was pitch-dark outside, and the air in the room felt humid and terribly warm. When did he go to sleep? What time was it?

Dizzily lifting himself up on his elbows, he found that not one, but two blankets were draped over him, completed by a purple decorative comforter from his living room. To top it all off, he was apparently fully dressed, sans his hoodie and shoes.

A panic made its presence known via stab in his stomach. How did he get here? Who tucked him in? Why? What day was it? What did he do yesterday? He felt like he was drugged. Was he drugged? His head and heart pounded and he realized he was horribly thirsty, as if he either partied or cried for days. Maybe both.

He looked around the unbearably stuffy room in a daze and his eyes fell on his phone, keys and wallet, laying on his bedside table. A small wave of relief flooded him. Should he call someone? Maybe one of the others? They could know what-

Upon remembering his friends, his brain finally provided him with a memory of the previous events, and his heavy breathing momentarily stopped.

Fuck.

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Far, far away (and hazy like a dream) - Chapter Three

Roman cares, Patton is good, Logan has a heart and Virgil tries his best.

TW: Panic attacks, spiraling, curse words, implied/referenced suicide.

Previous Chapter | Following Chapter 

They sat on a bench by the concrete-paved gash in the ground filled with rushing water that the city-hall presented as a creek, the damp-smelling air filling their lungs. The clouds above their heads have long changed from their morning softness to the stormy grey and despite it being almost noon, the sun was nowhere to be seen, the temperature outside dropping considerably. Nobody seemed to mind much, though, and Virgil found himself rather enjoying the cold. Once more, his body felt detached from everything around him, but the crispy air was refreshing.

Since he has calmed down enough to breathe again, nobody said anything. Patton sat pressed firmly against his side, with hands absentmindedly rubbing his own forearms as he was likely freezing in his thin blue polo and light cotton shorts. It was strange how the roles haw switched; now that Virgil was mostly numb to the world again, he didn’t feel half as cold on the outside as he probably should.

Or maybe he’s just gotten used to it.

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Game Night Chapter 3

Fic Summary: After playing an intense video game all day, Thomas dreams about it so vividly that the Sides are trapped in the dream! How will they get out of this predicament?

Chapter Summary: In the Tower of Bones, the hazards get more…personal.

Pairings: Platonic LAMP/CALM

Word Count: 3,629

Warnings: General horror imagery, spider webs and spiders, including giant ones, phobic attack including a near-faint, monster violence, abduction scare, mild cursing, threat of being crushed, animated skeletons, rusty weapons, panic attack with violent lashing out, actual fainting

Prologue | Chapter 1 | Chapter 2

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The Popcorn War

Hey guys! This is for @asofterfan, and is based off her artwork, which can be found here—>X Her art is called Movie Night, so yeah! Check it out, it’s so cute and amazing! Anyways, I really hope you enjoy this my Punkrent, and for anyone else who reads this, please enjoy!

Ship: Platonic Lamp

Words:  2519

Triggers: None that I can think of…maybe the bruises that are mentioned? But that’s all!


It was going to be a fun night for the four of them. That day, Roman had declared that they were going to go to his house and have a movie night full of Disney films. For Patton, it was like a dream come true, hanging out with all his friends, watching said movies and just having a good time together. Virgil couldn’t exactly say no since Patton had looked so excited about it and since Virgil was going, Logan had to come too since he never liked leaving Virgil alone too much. Plus, who knows! It could be…fun? As the four set up in Roman’s living room, Patton and Logan made the popcorn, while Virgil and Roman chose the movies they were going to binge that night. By the time the popcorn was made, and the drinks were brought out, the sun was already going down, making the sky vibrant colors of orange, pink and purple. To Roman, it was not time to start movie night when the sun was still up, so the boy wasted time doing their homework and when that was done, they put everything away and got their pajamas out of their bags.

“So, you guys wanna change in here? If not, I can lend you the bathroom as long as you don’t touch my products,” Roman demanded, glaring playfully at every one of them, before he nodded in satisfaction when he thought they understood. Staring at each other with similar smirks, Logan and Virgil went to head towards the bathroom, but was stopped when Roman gasped and pointed a finger at them. “No! You two are not going together! I know what those smirks mean! Patton, stay here with Virgil…I’ll go with Logan.”

Arching a brow, Logan glanced at Virgil to make sure what Roman proposed was okay, and when he saw a shrug, he sighed and rolled his eyes as he made his way towards the bathroom, Roman following close behind him. Watching them leave, Virgil turned towards Patton, who was beaming brightly at him, and walked over to him, taking the boy’s offered hand, intertwining their fingers together. Giggling, Patton twirled Virgil around playfully, before he let go and began to get undressed. Turning his back to Patton with a flushing face, Virgil removed his clothes slowly. First his hoodie, then his shirt. Once he was bare from the waist up, the purple haired teen quickly slid on his huge purple long sleeved shirt. Making sweater paws with the sleeves, Virgil unbuttoned his ripped black skinny jeans, and pushed them down along with his boxers. Once they were kicked out of the way, making Patton snicker when the pants flew in his direction, Virgil slid on his black pajama bottoms with purple patches sewn into them.

“Okay…I’m done,” Virgil muttered, before he turned around to face Patton, completely going silent when he took in what the pastel punk was wearing for pajamas. Giggling at the dumbstruck expression Virgil was wearing, Patton did a twirl and smiled brightly. Shaking the shock away, Virgil looked over the baby blue crop-top Patton was wearing that had pink swirly lettering that said, ‘Meow,’ along with cat ears and whiskers. Along with the crop-top, Patton had light pink shorts on and with the whole outfit, the punk seriously looked like walking cotton candy. Snorting at the thought, Virgil walked over to him shyly, and locked their hands together. “You look great Pat. You definitely rock those pjs.”

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Virgil’s Fear

Hey guys! This is for @the-pastel-peach, and this fanfic is based of her sanders sides animatic, which can be found here—>X Anyways, this fic has no tickling in it since it’s kinda serious, but it ends fluffy <3 Peach, I really hope you like it! And to everyone else who reads it, I hope you like it as well! Please enjoy <3

Ships: Platonic TLAMP

Words:  1776

Triggers: Just Deceit


Something was bothering Virgil, Thomas could feel it. After they all calmed down after Deceit made his grand appearance, Virgil couldn’t help but feel on edge about the dark side being in the Mind Palace, in his own little personal bubble that he just been getting to feel comfortable in. Sitting down in one of Roman’s many rooms in the said Mind Palace, Virgil looked up at the sky as he trembled. His anxiety was raising, and soon enough it would reach Thomas, and Virgil will have another problem to deal with other than Deceit. Swallowing the lump in his throat, the Anxious side turned around to face the exit of the room, just as Thomas rose up, glancing around worriedly. Seeing Thomas, Virgil felt himself freeze up since right then and there, he knew that Thomas could feel that something was off. Luckily the other sides didn’t show up too…yet.

“Virgil…? Are you okay?” Thomas asked, walking up to the younger side, keeping a little distance since he knew how Virgil got when he panicked. Staring at Thomas a bit, Virgil turned his back as he felt tears glistening in his eyes. He couldn’t let Thomas know how much Deceit’s entrance in their space made him on edge. He was the one that was supposed to protect them, yet here he is, trembling just by seeing their host and having to face him. Hearing Thomas stepping closer to him, Virgil kept his back turned until Thomas stopped just behind him. “Virge?”

“I’m terrified Thomas…okay? I’m terrified about Deceit being in the Mind Palace. What if I can’t protect them from him…and he makes me be alone again…? Thomas, I don’t want to be lonely again,” Virgil admitted, keeping his gaze on the light brown carpet below them. Taking in what his side said, Thomas bit his lip and made a quick silent call-out to the rest of the sides, knowing he wouldn’t be able to do this one alone this time. Mulling over what to think, Thomas opened his mouth, but Virgil beat him to it. “I can’t be alone…not again…”

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the-psycho-pie  asked:

Yeah another Sander Sides AU! Okay but who's who? Is it the classic fairytale setting or are making some changes? Are Roman, Deceit, Virgil, ... in it too?

Patton is Cinderella cause obvi right except he really has no clue he’s Cinderella bc he sees the best in everyone and just thought that his family needed a lil extra help And it wasn’t like he didn’t get help bc Virgil- the local witch apprentice yes stfu- constantly came over and helped him in exchange for being his friend (PATTON IS LIKE “I LOVE YOU AND WOULD DIE FOR YOU NO MATTER WHAT OKAY) but anyway he’s just like “my family loves me they’re just trying their best and don’t know how they’re making me feel and I don’t wanna disappoint step daddy deceit”

But anyway Roman and Logan are twin princes- Logan is older by two minutes- And one day Roman turns to his older brother and is like, “Bro let’s have a ball.” “Do not call me bro while we are discussing politics, Roman.” “BRO LETS HAVE A BALL AND GET YOU LAID.” “Please refrain from doing that-“ “L ET S H A V E A BA L L” “ALRIGHT FINE”

(Also Virgil on the side keeps meeting up with the youngest prince and being like, “get off me you horse stealing peice of-“ “IT WAS AN ACCIDENT! IM A PRINCE!” And they’ve been low key meeting up for months bc a lot of things!! They have reason!! It’s not a crush!!)

But Patton rlly rlly wants to go to this ball, right? He wants to know what a ball is like and see the dresses and the castle and blah blah. So he goes to step daddy deceit, and is like, “Step daddy deceit please let me go to the ball?” “I’ll let you go if you do your chores.” “Yay!” “Heres the list of chores it’s six pages long the ball is tonight.” “…not yay”

But Virgil comes into his house at about ten when step daddy deceit has left and is like, “yo, get dressed nerd, we’re going to the ball” “what” “I’m spelling the mice to do your job” “what” “also here’s a bomb ass suit I made for you it’s baby blue and brings out your eyes” “what” “get in the fucking carriage Patton”

So they get there and Roman is like, “omg Logan bro, that’s the pretty emo boy I was talking to you abt” “Please don’t call me br- who is he with.” “Idk never met him.” “He’s very… um.. attractive omg” “ur blushing” “falsehood” AND Logan is like, “hi yes I’m Logan” and Patton is like, “yes hi I’m-“ clock strikes, “would you like to dance with me?” Logan sweats bc it’s rude to ask for someone’s name again but nods and they dance and talk and it’s the best two hours of Logan’s life and he’s like fuck I’m gay. (Ignore the fact that Roman and Virgil are flirt- BANTERING THEY ARE BANTERING- and dancing in the background)

Anyway Virgil notices that deceit has left “ROMAN I HAVE TO LEAVE” “what why” “PATTONS ABUSIVE STEP DADDY JUST LEFT IF HE REALIZES PATTON IS GONE OH NO” “WHAT” Vigil runs off to find Patton and is like “DUDE WE HAVE TO LEAVE” “wait Virgil why” “YOUR DADDYS LEFT” “OH NO” and Logan’s like “WAIT PLEASE DONT LEAVE” and Patton is like, “I’m so sorry prince Logan. This had been the best time of my life.” So Virgil and Patton leave and in his rush Patton’s glasses are flung off.

And Daddy deceit- looking at him in the morning- is like “where the FUCK are your glasses” and Patton is like “ilostthemattheballisnuckouttoumsorry”

Anyway he gets locked up ha ha.

All the while Logan is pouting and Virgil storms into the castle and gets detained by the guards and then he’s brought in front of the princes.

“Hello! Virgil!”

“Roman tell your FUCKING PIGS to UNHAND ME bc PATTON IS IN FUCKING TROUBLE”

(Logan’s smart so he’s like “omg his name is Patton that’s so cute and fitting can you imagine it he’s going to be Patton Sanders one day okay”

“WE HAVE BIGGER PROBLEMS LOGAN”)

“Oh yes- WHAT DO YOU MEAN HES IN TROUBL”

“HIS ABUSIVE STEP DADDY HAS IMPRISONED HIM”

“TIME TO PUT THOSE USLESS FIGHTING CLASSES TO USE”

But because Patton is a strong woman, Turns out Patton had climbed out of his attic and finally realize that Daddy Deceit was abusive and accidentally meets up with them while he’s crying on the side of the main rode bc he’s overwhelmed.

(Patton sobbed, “I just wanted- I just wanted to make everyone happy.”

“You make me happy,” Virgil told him, holding his best friend to his chest as the two princes watched in sadness.

Logan slipped off his horse, “Patton…”

“Prince Logan! What are you- what are you doing here?”

“Looking for you,” he kneeled next to the duo, “You’ve made me the happiest person in just two hours.”

Patton glanced up to him tears in his eyes as Logan continued, “And I’d be honored if you would consider dating me?” )

AND ROMAN IS LIKE OH MY GOD VIRGIL I CANT LET HIM OUT DUE ME I LOVE YOU

(Virgil is blushing rlly hard but is like, “you can’t love me I’m magic”

“I’ll change the law that outlaws magic bc if your magic I’m under ur spell”

“Omg gay”)

(@finnthehomosexual gave me the horrible dad pun Patton makes: “I guess you could say Roman is a bit… charmed)

(Virgil decks him (Roman) then and there

“WHAT THE FUCK I DIDNT EVEN MAKE THE PUN”

“TRU BUT YOU DID STEAL MY HORSe”

“I WAS RUNNING AWAY GOD LEAVE ME ALONE”

(He’s holding Romans hand tho so roman counts it as a win))

And Patton and Logan date for a year and marry later. Ditto with Roman and Virgil. Step Daddy deceit died in a ditch.

Burned out

So I decided to write a fanfic and heres the beginning of it!!

Summary: The other sides ask Roman to back out for a while- as his fantasys are getting in the way of Thomas’ establishing a proper life. Roman decides to follow their orders, stepping out of the picture. This only puts emphasises on how much the sides actually need the creative trait.

Ships: possible prinxiety(no promises)? Mostly platonic LAMP lmao. Roman wishing he was loved.

Warnings: Just crying, nothing else rly. Roman being insecure.

Chapter 1

Roman was corageous. He was prideful, egotistical, and confident. He took pride in his looks, he made his fashion a priority. He loved to keep up his Prince Charming persona, and it was okay. Thats just how Roman was and the other sides accepted that- but that doesnt mean they needed it.

Suddenly the creative side was summoned, turning around to face the other sides.

“What might you all require my blessed presence for?” He asked as he fixed his hair, looking charming as always in his prince suit.

Logan was the first to speak up, “Thomas is having a deliemma and we suspect you are the root of the issue” he spoke. Roman raised an eyebrow- confused. He hadnt done anything bad lately. Thomas didnt have any auditions lately, nor has he been having problems with youtube videos and such. Roman believed he was doing a fine job, actually.

Thomas clapped his hands and turned to the obviously confused creative side, “Yeahh…Roman” he spoke slowly. “I just think you’ve been a little…heightened lately” he told the side.

Roman stepped back, looking to all the famillar sides. They were all staring at him with accusitory glances. Roman was starting to feel small and vulranable.

“So? Whats wrong with a little more creativity and fun in your life!” Roman told him, letting out a nervoue laugh. He didnt see HOW he was working too hard. He could have sworn he was doing his adverage amout of work- if not minimal amount.

Patton adjusted his glasses and held his hands behind his back, “Well kiddo, sometimes extra creativity can be fun! But sometimes Thomas needs to focus on…reality” Patton tried to explain nicely, sugar coating his words.

Virgil groaned, “What Patton’s trying to say is you need to back down. Thomas cant do anything right now” the anxious side snapped to his least favorite side.

Roman knew their relationship was getting better- Roman was trying- but he also knew he still held last place on Virgil’s ‘favorite people’ list. When he thought about it, it kind of stung with how much he had been trying.

Roman opted not to think about it.

“Im sorry, Timid Burton, but I dont see how I have been too controling of Thomas! He seems normal!” Roman dramatically gestured to the only real being in the room. Thomas seemed to get smaller as if he didnt want to tell Roman something.

Thomas shrugged as all the sides looked to him, “Well… I havent been able to do much lately because im always caught in day dream mode, or im conjoring up some fake fantasy..and thats all you buddy. I cant stay focused on anything” Thomas tells him in a guilty voice. Roman let out a loud sigh.

Logan cleared his throat to get Roman’s attention, “Basically it would be best if you stepped back for…a while. Thomas needs to focus on his work, hes not a child anymore that can waste his time on dreams and fantasies.”

Roman also knew he had the lowest spot on Logans 'People I can tolerate’ list. Logans skeptical and realistic way of looking at life contridicted Roman’s hopes and dreams too much- making them not be the closest friends of the group.

Patton shrugged, “Its okay kiddo! We just need you to calm down… Dont be upset! Thomas just needs to focus on adultry!” Patton said nicely to the group.

Thoman sighed and shook his head, “Patton thats- thats not….nevermind. Roman!” He said suddenly and turned back to the creative side. “You understand, right?” Thomas asked nicely.

Roman looked to the other sides, feeling a weight in his heart. Roman felt…rotten, like an brown rotten apple. He looked to Virgil.

Virgil scoffed, “Of course he doesnt understand, hes a clueless moron” he mumbled and leaned back, looking down.

Roman nodded, “I understand Thomas. I am sorry to let you down-”

Thomas intrupted him, “Roman you didnt let me down! You never-”

“Im sorry I let you down” Roman repeated, cutting Thomas off. “I will certainly..uh…tone down” he tells the group. The other sides looked relieved.

Logan pushed up his glasses, “Well that went relatively well. Im glad we discoveted the root of the problem and rid of it” Logan told the group. Virgil just nodded and shurgged, uninterested. Patton looked guilty, looking to Roman.

“Hey kiddo? You okay?” He gently asked the creative side. Roman flashed a grin at him.

“I am super!” He told the dad figure. Patton didnt seem convinced.

“Are you sur-” before Patton could finish Roman quickly finished his sentence.

“-Califragilisticesbealidosious. Anyway! I shall be off to my room! A wonderful day to you all or whatever!” He told the group happily and loudly. Logan seemed turned off by the over dramatic gestures Roman was throwing everywhere. Virgil grunted in response.

Roman quickly ducked out, hearing a small “Bye!” From Patton as he went down.

When Roman reappeared he was standing in the same living room he was before- yet the walls were covered in gold embedded in it. The couch was bright red, the entire room was extra and almost glowed in gold. There was paints and canvas’s spread everywhere, with brushes scattering the table. The creative side loved to paint in his free time.

The best part of the room was the bubbles.

There were these shiney golden bubbles floating around- each holding a different photo or scene in Thomas’s future. Each of the dozens of bubbles represented a different hope of Thomas’- a dream. His fantasies and his ideas filled the floating circles. It was Romans job to create them, maintain them, and pop the fading and unneeded ones.

Roman sighed as he watched them float around.

Roman glanced around the room slwoly, seeing the bubble of Thomas sanding on the stage as he won a Tony for his broadway acting. Another bubble floated by and showed a contract signed by Thomas as he was cast in a broadway musical. Another displayed Thomas happily with a husband and kids of his own.

They showed his youtube growing more popular, him getting signed with a record deal, him producing a hit song, becoming an actor, eating healthy and working out. They showed Thomas thriving by going out and enjoying nature, owning a small business, or going back to college and studying astrology. Every picture showed a different hope and dream of Thomas’. Not all of them could happen- but they gave Thomas options. They all made Thomas happy, they were all things Thomas wanted to do.

Until now.

Roman let the sides voices ring through his head- how they told him to tone it down.

Roman reached up. He softly grabbed his favorite bubble. This one showed Thomas going on to presue his acting career. Roman loved nothing more then theater- and the idea of Thomas presuing his love of theater made Roman incredably happy

Yet Roman reached up slowly with his other hand. He felt like crying as he relectantly touched the top of the bubble and watched as it burst and disapeared- along with Thomas’ hope.

Roman looked around the room, walking through it and picking out the bubbles Thomas didnt need. Roman burst Thomas’ childhood dream of being a firefighter. He went on to burst Thomas’ dream to be a doctor or become a vet. He destoryed his dreams of learning to paint and continue learning how to draw. He found Thomas’ dream of owning a bakery and popped it- along with Thomas’s dream of owning a flower shop.

He burst Thomas’ dreams of being a disney prince, or finding a disney prince to love.

Roman tried to destory all the unrealistic dreams- becoming a Prince, becoming a Broadway star, living in France.

This included his childhood fantasies- his want to be in a cartoon, meet cartoon characters like Steven Universe, find a real snipe, float all the way to live by the falls in a house being lifted by balloons. All of it burst with a touch of Roman’s fingers.

Roman was sobbing by the end of it, watching everything he lived for and created burst before his eyes. But he knew that these were silly fantasies in Thomas’ head. He knew they held him back from properly touching down to reality and creating a stable career. He knew Logan was right- which is why he left Thomas’ want to study astrology there. He left the bubble with Thomas’s want to attend college and raise a medicore family. He burst Thomas’ biggest hopes and dreams to replace it with just the want for a stable, sutiable life.

Roman crumbled to the ground, letting his head fall in his hands as he sobbed his heart out. He did as the others asked him- eliminate what would keep Thomas from living a proper life. In exchange Roman had to destory all he had ever worked for. All the auditions, art classes, the ideas and effort - were turned into a waste as they burst between the creative sides hands.

He wasnt going to fail Thomas- and if Roman had to suffer for that then so be it.

Roman curled up in a ball, rubbing at his eyes. He let his shoulders shake as sobs wrecked his body. He felt his chest roughly push in and out as his breaths were rushed and quick.

Roman looked up at the damage he had done. His room had previously been lit up like time square with golden glowing bubbles- holding all his beloved dreams. Now it was dim. Only about a dozen of the orginal group was left. Those each consisted of basic wants- like the dream to become an adult, to find an adverage man and settle down, to start a family, to return to college and set up a stable career.

Roman’s attention turned to a bright bubble that floated across his face. He looked inside of it- it showed Thomas’ youtube channel. Roman frowned. Youtube was Thomas’ life but…without it he would be able to focus on college and a “real” job. Roman let it float by- it shone the brightest in the room. The brighter it shone- the more Thomas wanted it. That was how the bubbles worked.

Roman reached out and took a hold of it, bringing it closer to him. He admired the picture in it, smiling through his tears.

Roman leaned forward and kissed the bubble before letting it go float around the room. If the sides had a problem with it- they could come pop it themselves.

Roman collected himself, pulling himself off the floor and slowly moving over to the couch and plopping down on it. Roman grabbed his Aladdin printed blanket and wrapped himself in it. He wiped his tears as he grabbed the remote and turned on The Office.

Roman watched one last bubble float above the tv. It was a bubble that had been there since he bacame a side. It was Roman’s biggest hope and dream- the one single thing he wished for the most.

The bubble showed the four main sides- Virgil, Logan, Patton and Roman himself, all happily hugging eachother, where Roman felt cared for and appreictaed by the people he loved the most.

-

Thats all for now lmao. Ill probs continue it soonish? Idk no promises

Also I understand I made Virgil sound like a jerk but he just doesnt realize the hurt of his words.

My SS Headcanons

- In addition to poetry Logan and Roman also share a love of classical music 

-Patton is good at baking but Logan’s baking is next level. I’m talking like professional baked goods

- Logan loves seeing his friends enjoy his treats, even if he won’t admit it

-  Virgil loves archery, there’s always a sense of calm when it’s just him and the target.

- When Roman found out about the archery he immediately asked Virgil to go on a quest with him. Now questing together in a pretty regular activity

- Virgil likes water color painting, He and Patton paint together a lot

- Patton has a notebook that he uses only to doodle

- Logan and Virgil like doing puzzles together

anonymous asked:

Okay okay so Thomas's self esteem gets pretty low in the winter months (as I understand) Who do you think would be most affected by that and what would the others do to help him

Honestly speaking, I think all three emotional sides would be affected (as I think right brain/left brain division doesn’t really cut it in the Sides) but I have already written Patton angst before and everyone writes Virgil angst, so Roman, mah boi, this is your time to suffer. I’m not sorry.

(this ended up more as headcanons than a fanfic, sorry)

Roman is probably the one with the worst self steem of all of them, except maybe Virgil, but he usually doesn’t show it. He exagerates in his act to keep up his confident mask
(it doesn’t mean he isn’t like that. it just means he’s at least 110% of himself whenever someone can see him)
(also, another idea for angst: when you’re acting all the time, how do you know how much of it is you and how much is the mask?)

In the winter Thomas doesn’t feel as well about himself so Roman tries to compensate it. Write! Act! Sing! Look at the nice things you did, you can’t be that bad, can you?

Problem is, that backfires when they can’t stop thinking they could have done better, or when writer block hits. If he can’t do it, is he even necessary at all?

That’s where Virgil comes in

Virgil has enough experience with both low self steem and keeping a facade to know what Roman is doing. Even if it takes him a time yo notice.

He agonizes over if he should tell the others or not for a while before going to Patton about it. Patton is worried, so of course he brings Logan too

Each of them have their own ways to help Roman. Virgil talks to him at night, when everyone is sleeping, about Disney villains and princes, about monsters and creators, about masks. They both come out of tat talk feeling a bit better.

Patton is as subtle as an elephant in a crystal shop looking for cuddles. He showers Roman in compliments that would have gotten the prince stiff if they weren’t so obviously sincere.

And Logan– well, Logan works based on facts. And the fact is that Roman is incredible, creative and necessary. Objectively speaking, of course.

anonymous asked:

"Peter Parker is definitely trans. Fight me."

It all started with movie night, as it usually does.

Three of them are already a mess of limbs in the couch before Virgil even finishes setting the movie. He raises a brow at them. Patton giggles, not ashamed of the way he’s sitting on Roman’s lap and has both arms wrapped around one of Logan’s. The prince grins, firmly holding Patton’s waist and wrapping an arm around Logan’s shoulders. The logical side blushes under Virgil’s gaze.

Anxiety chuckles and sits beside Logan, who puts a hand on his knee. This feels nice. Had it been a few months ago, he wouldn’t even have considered all of this— but it feels right somehow. He’s not going to complain.

“So, we’re watching Spider-man tonight, right?”, Roman says. He doesn’t quite try to hide his pout.

Patton smiles and kisses his cheek to comfort him for the lack of Disney. The prince blushes. Logan chuckles quietly until Virgil puts his own hand over his. Who’d think the nerd blushes so easily?

“Calm down, Drama Queen, we can watch Moana after this if you behave”, Virgil smirks. It’s cute how Roman still seems to blush whenever he smiles at him now.

Ha. “Cute”. Not a word he ever thought he’d use for the royal pain in his ass, but here they are.

“We better, if we’re going to watch a movie about a straight white cis dude”, Roman mumbles.

“Don’t-”, Logan tries to warn him, but it’s already too late. Virgil gasps.

“How dare you talk about Peter Parker this way?”, he says frowning, slowly leaning over Logan to be able to glare at Roman more efficiently.

“Now, kiddos, there’s no need to fight-”

Roman gulps. He’s a prince, though, one that has challenged and beated many monsters! His boyfriend can’t intimidate him this easily! He cross his arms. (Logan and Patton sigh with the lack of contact that comes with it. C'mon, Virgil.)

“Well, he is a white, cis, straight boy, isn’t he?”, Roman says.

Virgil looks like he’s about to leap over Logan and beat the crap out of the prince.

“Peter Parker is trans. Fight me.”

“But there’s no canon evidence-”, Roman starts.

Actually”, Logan says, wrapping an arm around Virgil’s waist to keep him in his seat. “I have read a few theories about it. It’s pretty plausible.”

“Also it’s a fun headcanon anyway! And don’t tell us you ever cared about canon, anyway”, Patton smiles, wrapping his arms around Roman’s neck. His expression looks a bit too devious for a second. “We have read your fanfics, you know.”

There’s a second of silence before the screams begin.

Concentrate

Summary: Surgeon!AU. Dr. Logan Taylor is a jigsaw puzzle and it’s up to his former enemy Dr. Roman Courtland to put all of the pieces together.

Warnings: brief discussion of surgical procedures/illness, some swearing, brief description of nausea/vomiting, anxiety attack, hurt/comfort

Pairings: Platonic Analogical, Platonic Logicality, Platonic Logince, squint and you can see it Moxiety

Tagged: @ziallwarrior

Notes: Look, guys, I actually wrote a one shot! Yes, it is angst again but it’s not all sad, if you can hang in there with me, hopefully you enjoy it! Also, this fic, while understood without it, does reference a previous one I’ve written so I’ll provide links for that here and here (parts one and two, respectively). As always, feedback is appreciated!

The first sign of trouble came in the form of dizziness, a symptom so benign even Logan didn’t even think it meant anything more than what it was.

“That was a good save, man,” Virgil said, lightly clapping Logan’s shoulder, “thanks for the assist in there.” The cardiologist considered shrugging from underneath the younger man’s grip but decided against it. He had become close to the trauma surgeon as of late and while he didn’t typically indulge in such frivolities as friendships, he found Dr. Davidson’s (no…Virgil’s) company…pleasant. Logan didn’t want to risk doing anything to damage their tenuous bond. The contact between them ended up being a blessing in disguise as when Logan turned to respond to Virgil’s compliment, he swayed dangerously as a wave of vertigo rushed over his consciousness. Virgil reacted quickly, grabbing him by the shoulders and gently leaned him against the nearby wall, the surgeon’s head drooping into his chest with an audible groan. “Whoa, hey, you’re okay, I got you, I got you.” Logan didn’t respond, too overwhelmed by the shift of his equilibrium to do anything other than just exist.

Eventually, the dizziness passed and the fog lifted from Logan’s brain, a sense of embarrassment settling in its place. The older surgeon tried to move out of Virgil’s hold but firm hands simply adjusted to the extra movement, keeping Logan still. “Easy, dude, easy, just breathe. Stand up when your body is ready.” The stoic doctor groaned again but remained leaning against Virgil, taking deep, slow breaths to regain control. Finally, he gently lifted his head, a slight flush on his cheeks and avoiding eye contact with his current rescuer. “I am…adequate now, Virgil. I apologize; I am not sure what came over me.”

“It’s no big deal, dude, it happens to the best of us. Think you can make it to the chairs over there?” Logan opted for nodding instead of speaking out of tiredness, a move that concerned Virgil just ever so slightly. The two slowly shuffled their way to the plastic chairs against the opposite wall. Logan unceremoniously dropped into the seat and leaned his head back against the wall with his eyes closed. Virgil gazed at the side of his face, worry blooming in his chest that he fought to ignore. “Still dizzy?” His voice shook slightly and he hoped Logan didn’t notice.

“A minimal amount but it’s mostly passing.” Logan cracked open an eye to peer at his friend who looked just shy of grabbing a gurney and admitting him to the hospital. “You do not have to sit with me, Virgil. It’s just a dizzy spell. They come and they go.” The cardiologist’s words trailed off at the end of his sentence; he was definitely still a bit out of it. Virgil sighed, releasing a bit of pent-up tension. “It was a long surgery. When you’re ready, you should eat something soon and hydrate. That’s probably all this is.”

“Precisely,” Logan said tiredly.

“I’m gonna hang out with you until you’re good, though, can’t have you collapsing on my watch. Although, if I knew complimenting you would make you swoon, I would’ve done it sooner.” Logan’s head turned slowly, an incredulous look on his face. “Are…are you flirting with me, Dr. Davidson?”

“Oh, don’t get formal on me now, Logan. It was a joke. I’ve been hanging around Patton a lot lately, my bad.” It was Virgil’s turn to be embarrassed, a sheepish grin gracing his features. Logan nodded and turned back to rest on the wall again. “Hmm. Very well. See that it doesn’t happen again,” he said with mock sternness.

The two promptly shared a smirk and a laugh, moving on as if nothing even happened.

****

The second sign of trouble was more alarming: nausea.

The first and second signs actually coincided in the most unfortunate way, in Logan’s opinion, and in front of Dr. Patton Parker of all people. Logan was unaccustomed to being…mothered, particularly while being ill. His mother viewed almost any illness as weakness, a mere inconvenience that was to be worked through not “babied” in her terms. Subsequently, when he had an ailment, he did his best to secretly treat himself while hiding his symptoms and carrying on as usual. To his detriment, this particular symptom was not one easily hidden and as Dr. Parker was so obnoxiously adept at detecting…feelings, he knew he wasn’t getting out of being mothered on this one. The two surgeons were sitting in the fetal surgeon’s office discussing a case of an expectant mother with a heart defect when without warning, a powerful dizzy spell struck Logan mid-sentence. They had been coming on more frequently as of late but this one seemed particularly intense. Logan’s heart pounded and he placed a hand on his forehead, drooping alarmingly close to the edge of Patton’s desk as he leaned forward.

Patton was on his feet in a flash. “Logan? Logan! Oh my God, Logan, buddy, what’s wrong? Is it a headache? Are you dizzy? How can I help?” Logan had intended for the standard “nothing, I’m fine, it’ll pass” to come up but instead, his body decided to revisit his last meal and he gagged. The hand on his forehead quickly clapped over his mouth and his eyes widened in horror. Patton’s face remained calm as he grabbed a trashcan and quickly held it in front of Logan’s face, rubbing his back while his friend retched miserably. The mortifying moment seemed to last a lifetime for the cardiologist but finally, his body stopped convulsing enough for him to catch his breath and finally speak. “I am…so sorry, Dr. Parker. I should have been able to make it out of your office.”

“Don’t you dare apologize,” Patton’s face was firm but still caring, “you couldn’t help it. You’re sick, it happens.” Logan flinched at the word sick, his mother’s voice ringing in his ears. “Still, I am not a child. I should be in…better control of my body-…“ He gagged again and clamped his mouth shut to avoid a repeat performance. Patton rubbed his back again, shushing him soothingly. “Now hush. I don’t know where you got this idea that you’re supposed to be able to dictate a thing you can’t possibly control but that’s just nonsense! You’re allowed to be less than perfect, especially when you’re sick. That’s why you have people around you to help!” Patton noticed a flash of something cross Logan’s face. “At least…you’re supposed to. Was that not always the case for you?”

Logan sighed heavily. Damn his perception. “My mother…did not respond well to illness. I never took a sick day. She always…forced me to go to school or work. When I got sick as a child, she would have the nanny look after me. And she was nice enough but…”

“She wasn’t your mother,” Patton finished.

“Correct.” Logan went silent and stared at his hands. Patton frowned deeply for a second before straightening his face into a gentle smile. He struggled to hold back further commentary on just how awful he felt for little Logan and how disappointed he was in his mother who couldn’t even handle the basics for her own family. Logan didn’t need pity or reminders of his past pain; he needed a friend. Instead, Patton simply pushed back Logan’s hair, checked his forehead for a temperature and said brightly, “Well, I’m here now to take care of you! Good news, I’m gonna check just to be sure but you don’t seem to have a fever so hopefully it was just something you ate and not a virus. Why don’t we get you to an on-call room so you can lie down and I’ll clean up here, don’t apologize, and the fellow can cover your post ops for you, okay?” Logan agreed shakily, still trying to recover from the physical effects of being sick. “Thank you, Patton. I appreciate your kindness.”

“Don’t sweat it, friend. That’s what I’m here for. I want to help.”

In retrospect, Patton was probably the perfect person to be vulnerable around.

****

The third sign of trouble initially seemed unrelated: mood swings.

Virgil Davidson was having a pleasant day. His patients were all thriving after surgery, his anxiety was well under control, and the Chief had actually complimented him twice today. He was simply taking a moment in his office to review postoperative scans when Logan burst through the door, red-faced and panting.

“Yeah, sure Lo, just barge in- holy crap, dude, are you all right?!”

Logan was pacing back and forth, chest heaving. “I lost a patient.” His voice sounded deceptively even to the average listener but Virgil knew better. Logan was on the edge and he needed to tread carefully.

“I-I’m sorry-“

“I shouldn’t have lost that patient. I did everything right. My approach was inspired, my technique was flawless, the patient was young. It should have been a success. I should be celebrating but now my patient is dead!” He was near hysteria now. Virgil stood carefully, planning to stop the man’s frantic marathon and talk some sense into him. “Logan, you know you can’t always-“

No! Don’t you dare tell me it couldn’t be helped! It is our job to help and instead I killed her! If I can’t help anymore, if I can’t do my job, then what the hell am I here for? What is the point of any of it? What is the point, what is the point, what is the point-“

“Logan, Logan! Look at me! Breathe with me, okay? Count and breathe. That’s it, good job, Lo. Now I’m gonna take your hands out of hair…let go for me, Logan. Good, you’re doing great. Keep breathing for me.” Virgil waited a bit to continue, rubbing circles into Logan’s palms. “You with me now, Doc?”

Logan exhaled raggedly. “Yes, I’m here. I’m sor-“

“Gonna stop you right there, dude. It happens; you don’t need to be ashamed.”

“But it does not happen to me, Virgil. What…what is wrong with-with me?” Suddenly and to both of their horror, Logan began to laugh. Loudly. “I mean, seriously, what the hell is my freaking problem?! I’m crying like a child over a person I barely know! It’s…it’s…pathetic! And hell, I probably botched the damn surgery anyway! So why am I upset? Can you tell me, Virgil, can you tell me why I’m this upset because I am trying and failing to come to any logical conclusion here so please tell me what the actual fuck is my problem?!” The trauma surgeon stared on in shock at the deeply unsettling sight of Logan unraveling in front of him. He was right, this wasn’t normal at all and Virgil had a horrifying suspicion of what was causing it.

“Logan? Are you…are you using again?”

Logan immediately stopped laughing and glared at the accusation. “What?! No! Absolutely not!” A familiar clench twisted his stomach and Logan’s eyes bulged with panic. Oh God, not here. “Ihavetogo,” he mumbled hurriedly and bolted from the room, just barely making it around the corner before emptying the contents of his stomach in a hazmat bin. Once it was over, he lifted his head, gripped the sides of the container with white knuckles and for the first time since all of this started, he began to truly worry about what was really happening to him.

****

The fourth and last sign was the most terrifying one.​

“Dr. Parker, it appears the patient is experiencing a slight elevation in blood pressure, how is the fetus faring?” Patton smiled behind his surgical mask; working with Logan filled him with such a sense of joy. The doctor was normally so reticent and the opportunity for partnering was so rare with their specialities. It made him happy to see the cardiologist invested in teamwork.

“Heart rate is steady, Dr. Taylor. Don’t worry, I will most certainly let you know if I need to step in. Hopefully we can keep the little guy in her a bit longer though, his lungs need more time.”

“I am almost done here. Johnson, 2.0 silk please, I’m ready to clo-” A loud, metallic clatter filled the OR and left everyone frozen. Patton was the first to hesitantly speak up. “Dr. Taylor? Are…are you all right?”

Logan stared at his right hand in shock. “Yes, Dr. Parker, I am…satisfactory. I’m just…feeling a bit under the weather, Johnson, could you close? I need to step out.”

“Logan.” Patton sounded nervous. Logan turned around and tried his best to smile reassuringly behind his mask. “Don’t worry, Patton. Johnson can close. It’ll be all right.” Once he was out of the OR, Logan snatched off his mask and gloves. He looked down at his hand again and started to walk, clenching his fist repeatedly. Open. Close. Open. Close. Stay calm. Open. Close. Open…

“Roman?”

Roman looked over his reading glasses, a smirk across his face. “Dr. Taylor! You must mean to charm me calling me by my first name. To what do I owe the pleasure of this visit-”

“I want you to scan my brain.” Open. Close.

“Ah, ever direct, as always. Now, why would I scan your perfectly healthy brain?”

“Because it’s not perfectly healthy. I’ve been experiencing…symptoms. Headaches, mood swings, dizziness, nausea-”

“Oh, come now, Specs! You’re been a heart guy for too long.”

“What is that supposed to mean?” Open. Close. Open. Close.

Roman walked around to sit on the front edge of his desk. “Look, when patients come to see you, it’s usually a worst case scenario. Their heart has taken all it can stand and they need you to fix it, which you do brilliantly. But it doesn’t always work that way in neuro. You know as well as I do that all of that could be due to migraines or stress even. Your training is making you think the worst, you probably just need some time off-”

“My hand went numb, Roman! In surgery.” Roman looked up and gasped at the tears filling Logan’s eyes. “There is something wrong. And there has been for weeks but I’ve foolishly ignored it. But now I can’t be a surgeon because of just how wrong that something is. You’re the best neurosurgeon in this hospital, there’s no way you can’t figure this out. Please…help me.”

A moment of silence went by then Roman nodded solemnly. “We’ll get you admitted and do a full workup then I’ll schedule a scan for tomorrow. It’s gonna be okay. Just breathe, Logan. It’s gonna be okay, I have this.”

****

“You can’t be in here, Pat,” Roman said sadly. Patton ignored him and marched straight to the seat next to the neurologist, flopping down into it with a stubborn glare. “Like hell I can’t. He’s one of us now. He’s family.”

“Dr. Courtland, it’s fine. He broke protocol on my case with your brother; it seems fitting he does it here too.” Logan’s sarcasm sounded over the intercom, drawing a mock gasp from Patton and a snort from Roman. “Truly, though, I don’t mind. I probably terrified him during surgery, he deserves to know what’s going on.”

“No worries, Logan. I just want to make sure you’re okay.” Patton spoke up, trying to squelch his nerves to make way for something more cheerful. He wasn’t totally sure he succeeded.

“Agreed there, Doc,” Roman chimed in. “All right then, just give me a minute and we’ll get started.”

“Wait!” Roman and Patton’s heads snapped up at Logan’s shout. “Dr. Courtland…before you do this, I need you to promise me something. Promise me that you won’t treat me like a patient. If you find something, anything, you tell me immediately. I may be sick but I’m not weak, I’m not fragile, I can take it. I’ve dealt with every illness I’ve ever had alone, I can handle…handle this too…”

“He’s panicking,” Patton stated firmly.

“I can see that,” Roman shut off the intercom and hopped out of the booth. “Logan? Logan, look at me.” Fear-glazed eyes finally met with Roman’s gentle gaze. He grabbed the cardiologist’s hand while he spoke. “Logan Taylor, you have my word that I will do anything and everything I can no matter what we find. If it’s benign, cancerous, or absolutely nothing, we will handle it. And you’re right, you’re not my patient, you’re my partner. We are now in this together and whatever we find, we face it together. You are not alone anymore. That sound good to you, Specs?” Roman smiled down at the trembling man, patiently waiting for the eventual nod of agreement. He ran his hand through Logan’s hair and felt him finally relax. “Now try to hold still, okay? Got to get you from your best side.” Logan rolled his eyes and laughed through his nose, surrendering his care to Roman who was already settled back in the booth. “Starting the scan now, Lo. Just relax.”

Patton smiled at Roman and rubbed his knee gently. “You were good with him just then. Look how far you two have come.” Roman smiled sheepishly. “He saved my brother, Pat. I owe him.”

“You find anything yet?” Virgil rushed in twisting his scrubs anxiously. “Damn surgery, I almost missed it, did you find anything?”

“He just started the scan, Virge, let him work.” Patton whispered, eyes never leaving the screen.

“God, I accused him of using drugs. If he dies-”

“Stop that! No one is dying here, all right? Don’t do that to yourself, kiddo, not now. Right now, we have to be strong for Logan-”

“Guys. Look.” Roman pointed at the tumor illuminated on the screen.

“Damn,” Patton and Virgil both muttered.

“It’s likely benign but…the good doctor was right, it’s definitely something. Thank God that’s he stubborn.”

“Please tell me you can operate.” Virgil sounded desperate. Patton reached out and grabbed his hand, squeezing gently. Virgil had gotten to know Logan the best out of all of them. It was no surprise he was taking this the hardest. “For God’s sake, Roman, tell me you can save him.”

“You’re damn right I can, Virge. And I’m gonna do everything I can to do just that.”

“Roman? It’s a tumor isn’t it?” Logan’s voice shook over the intercom.

“Yeah, Lo…it is. But I can get it. I’m gonna get it, don’t you worry. Partners, remember?”

Logan nodded, holding back tears. “I’m holding you to that.”

****

Three months later, when Logan was back to work with full use of his hand, he marched right into Roman’s office and hugged him impossibly tight, thanking him for being a man of his word.

Sick of Being Weak

Summary: Virgil gets sick and he tries to hide it. It doesn’t go well.

Warnings: Sickness, fever, mentions of walking phenomena and strep throat, selective mutism, low self esteem

Word count: 2078

Pairings: Platonic LAMP/CALM

A/N: I started writing this forever ago and I’m sorry it took so long to actually post it, but I’ve been dry on writing for a while, so here ya go! Taglist under the cut (send me an ask, message, or comment or reply or anything really if you want to be added to the taglist. I check all reblogs of my things so you can even put it in the tags if you’d like)

Taglist: @rileyfirstname @verymuchanidiot

@definentlynotjustanotherlemon @silversmith-91 @kanejandkruge @sander-fander-sides @lovecrazyjennybear

Virgil hated being sick. He despised the feeling of that scratchy uncomfortable stinging pain in the back of his throat. The hot, hot pressure in his head left him dizzy and unable to focus. He felt weak and useless when he was sick, with snot running out of his plugged up nose so badly that he couldn’t even sleep without a box of tissues nearby. Virgil tried to keep himself away from most germs (his anxiety always spiked about eating things that looked wrong), but that didn’t change when he actually did pick up a head cold.

When Virgil got sick, it was much different than any of his roommates.

When it was time for Roman to be sick, he pulled all the dramatics. He was cuddly, clingy, and needy when sick. If there wasn’t someone by his side at all times, it was likely that he would burst into tears. Virgil didn’t understand just why Roman reacted so dramatically to getting sick. Yeah, it was miserable, but the theater nerd didn’t need to exaggerate so much. Speaking of exaggerating, when Roman got sick, it was a common thing to see Patton feeding Roman a bowl of chicken noodle soup on the couch.

Logan didn’t get sick that often. He fell ill the least out of the four friends, but when he did, it wasn’t just a common cold. He either came down with an incredibly high fever or something like walking phenomena or strep throat. There was no such thing as a small cold for Logan; it was all or nothing. When he did manage to catch something so severe, he either tried to work through it or laid in bed and refused for anyone to be around him regularly (besides getting antibiotics and food). He claimed it’s because he would blame himself for ages if one of his housemates came down with what he had. Logan was miserable, but fared pretty well as it didn’t happen often.

Originally when Patton got sick around his kiddos and Logan, he would try his best to hide it. He would still try to make breakfast for everyone, but that was quickly cut off by Logan. Roman then would proceeded to coddle Patton like he does for him when sick, despite the older’s protests. He was the only one out of their mixed-matched group that actually handled a cold normally. Patton getting sick usually followed Roman’s sickness, as the fatherly friend would usually be the one taking care of the needy one.

When Virgil got sick, though, he did better than Patton to hide it. Luckily for him, his days of selective mutism were not unknown to his friends. If he came down from his room looking disheveled and refusing to speak, his friends family would assume he had a nightmare and wanted a Silent Day. Only once everyone was gone to work–Logan at his law firm, Patton at his physical therapy clinic, and Roman for musical rehearsal–would Virgil being to cough up his lungs. He worked from home (thank god) to avoid people in general, so he usually was alone all day. Virgil would slink around the house, having a cough attack every ten minutes, and exist miserably without getting much work done. He would go about his day like this for at least three days before he finally began recovering and sounding less like a fork in the garbage disposal (heh…meme).

Regrettably, today was one of those days for Virgil.

When he heard the door beginning to unlock, the weak, sickly one maneuvered himself from his place on the living room couch to the stairs. Virgil began to crawl up the carpeted steps on all fours, lacking the energy to stand at the moment. Right at the moment that Virgil reached his doorway (while he was still crawling), the front door opened. Chatter began to fill the downstairs, but the sick one didn’t pay any mind to that. He managed to get his door shut, difficulty making his way onto his bed. He collapsed down into the comfortable blankets, pulling them over his head before drifting off in moments.

“Yeah, he’s definitely burning up.” a voice drifted into Virgil’s ears, but he didn’t understand what it was saying. A hand was running itself softly through his hair, calm and comforting.

“This couldn’t have happened while we were at work,” another somehow more level voice added, whispering. “He must have been sick this morning as well.”

The hand in his hair stopped, making Virgil shift in his sleep. He made a sound close to that of a dying animal, huffing through his sore throat in attempts not to cough. It didn’t work, and he coughed anyways. He tried to breathe in through his nose, but was only met with an unsatisfactory nostril blockage. He made a similar sound to the first, but this time with a small sob laced into it. Even when half asleep, Virgil was absolutely miserable.

“Have any of you actually seen him this sick before?” a very worried hush that seemed farther away then the previous two rang through his head this time, and his mind was starting to process it. The hand began moving again.

“No, but I’m going to go pick up some medicine… Could one of you get him cold washcloth?” Virgil stirred again, attempting to ask ‘what’s happening?’ but in reality, the only sound that came out was a weak cough and a very slurred and scratchy ‘was happen?’

Everything in the room stopped for several moments. The hand paused, the people talking quieted, and the only sound was the loud huffs of Virgil. After a few moments of this stillness, Virgil nuzzled into the side of whoever was sitting next to him, not acknowledging what he was doing. His huffs evened out again, and a collective exhale sounded in the bedroom.

“Please, uhm, try and keep from waking him as I get the cough medicine.” the level voice whispered at last, and Virgil barely noticed as two pairs of footsteps left the room. The one with the hand in his hair stayed, and that fact alone made him sigh in sleepy contentment as he pressed deeper into the warmth.

The first thing Virgil noticed was a coldness on his hot head. It was comforting, and it made his aching head feel much better. The second thing the realized was that he did not put the cloth (was it a cloth?) there, which meant that someone entered his room and did it, which lead to that he forgot to lock his door. The last thing Virgil came to know as he opened his sleepy eyes from his nap was that Patton was sitting next to him with one hand holding his phone and another in Virgil’s hair. He was immediately concerned, because none of his housemates needed to know that he was sick. That yelled weakness, and the protector of the ‘family’ shouldn’t be weak. Virgil tried to be silent, but instead accidently let out a cough. It came on strong, and not wanting to cough onto Patton, Virgil moved himself into a sitting position. This got Patton’s attempted within seconds of the sick one’s first movement, making him look on worriedly as Virgil hacked onto the nook of his elbow. The coughing lasted quite a while; just when it looked like it would end, he started again. Patton looked on distraught, moving his hand out to Virgil when it seemed like he stopped for the third time. Virgil heaved for a few moments, but didn’t start coughing again.

“Mornin’’ kiddo,” Patton stated first, patting Virgil on the back as he finished coughing. Virgil looked at him with such a worried look that it Patton could have been the one who was sick. “I took your temperature when you were sleeping-” that earned a slightly scared and annoyed look, “I’m sorry, but you were burning up when I came in here. You’ve got a fever, kiddo.”

“I noticed,” Virgil croaked out, his throat screaming in protest. “I didn’t want to get you guys sick.” he was about to hang his head, or get Patton out of his room, or both, only to turn his head around at the sound of the door opening. Logan came through the doorway with a tray in his hands. On top of it was a bowl of soup, cough medicine, and a tall glass of water. Virgil didn’t know how he managed to open the door. 

“Good evening, Virgil. I’m glad to see you awake.” Logan calmly commented as he placed the tray on Virgil’s bedside table. He sat down on the bed and looked from Patton’s confused face to Virgil’s sickly and concerned one. “I heard the coughing from downstairs.”

“Oh, I see I see. Whatcha got there?” Patton asked, hand still resting on Virgil’s back. 

“Cough syrup. Its strong, too. I had to show my ID to get it from the pharmacy.” Logan commented as he grabbed the bottle and began to pour some into one of the two spoons for Virgil to take.

With as tired as he was, Virgil found himself cooperating. He thought he would complain and put up a fight, as he didn’t want to get anyone else sick, but he didn’t. He pressed into Patton’s warmth, gentle and calming, as Logan administered the recommended dosage for the medicine. He sat back on his bed and ate the soup, although he couldn’t really taste it. He mostly was just going through the motions at this point. He let the others take care of him and maneuver his body how they needed because Virgil didn’t have much strength left. His head was pounding and it hurt to breath. Virgil just wanted to sleep again, he decided as he leaned into Patton into an almost laying down position.

“Uh, Lo?” Roman said from the doorway. Virgil vaguely acknowledged the fact that he was carrying a plethora of Disney movies. “Why does Virge look even more like a limp pool noodle then before you gave him the medicine?” the princely one asked with genuine concern laced into his voice.

“It has an active ingredient that tends to make most takers drowsy. You should put on a movie for Virgil to fall asleep to.” Logan explained casually as he gathered the bowls and used spoons back onto the tray. The glass of water was half empty, so he must have gotten Virgil to drink some. In all honesty, in Virgil’s sick haze, he didn’t really know what was happening. 

“He’s already falling asleep, guys,” Patton commented, maneuvering the covers so that he and Virgil were underneath them. Virgil hummed once under the covers, wrapping his arms around Patton and cuddling into him. The older one smiled down loving at the other, glad he was getting rest but worried about his condition. Patton looked up and shared a concerned look with the others in the room.

Roman put down the many movies that were in his arms before putting Aladdin into the DVD player. Logan left the room with the tray as Roman did so, but returned to his spot on Virgil’s bed shortly. Soon, the four friends sat together on the bed, squished but comfortable. They all were silently worried for their very sick friend, of course, but also thankful that Virgil wasn’t pushing them away once they found out about his condition. The youngest one had a way with isolating himself whenever something was wrong, so they took this moment as a victory.

In the morning, they would get Virgil more medicine and food. They would take his temperature as Patton starting sniffling, and be relieved to see that his fever was going down. In the morning, they would put on Steven Universe and skip work to watch it all together. Roman would make an exquisite lunch for everyone. Patton would softly be petting Virgil’s hair after they ate with Logan reading Virgil a book and Roman singing as he cleaned the kitchen downstairs. Virgil would fall asleep with Patton soon after, and Logan and Roman would make sure that the two were warm and comfortable. That, though, was all for the morning and the day to come. Currently, the four friends watched a movie with the sick Virgil warm in between all of them. He would drift off to sleep easily, and dream a dream better then when he was alone.

oneshot masterlist

DDR

Ok. So here’s what happened. I was trying to work on my Big Bang, but I needed a break from that. So I decided to do another chapter of TVFH and then i’d focus on the big bang until that was done… Well then I wanted to take a break from that… And this little teeny idea popped into my head, so I typed it up real quick. It’s short and just kinda silly.. but I think fun? So here is this lil thing. It’s more of a headcanon that I turned into a ficlet… But hey. We will call it a writing warm up?


Virgil once again turned up the volume on his headphone’s, trying to drown out the loud electronic music, Patton’s adorable giggling, and Roman’s loud cheering. The anxious side glanced from his armchair to the couch to see Logan also pointedly ignoring their right-brain counterparts. The tie-clad side was looking down at the book in his lap, obviously trying to focus on reading despite the scene that lay before them.

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give me more fics where the insecure one is Logan damn it

give me fics where

-they never give him reassurance because they just assume he doesn’t need it

-the focus is always on Virgil bc of his past and they’re too busy with him to see that Logan is falling apart

-they’re more rude and blunt with Logan bc they assume that it doesn’t hurt his feelings (because he doesn’t even have feelings, right?)

-Logan isolating himself because its not like the other three care either way

-Logan feeling so alone because everyone calls him nerd and boring and they never want to talk about his interests and they don’t even realize what they’re doing to Logan’s self esteem

-Logan just eventually stopped leaving his room because it hurts too much to

-Logan stops talking to and interacting with the sides

-It takes at least three weeks for them to even notice and if that doesn’t just twist the knife in Logan’s heart even more

-they all go to find him in his room sad as heck (almost crying perhaps???) bc he has n o b o d y. nobody.

- “Logan, sad? He doesn’t have feelings!”

-And those words hurt even more because they really came to his room just to antagonize him

-crying? yes

-kicking them out? yes

-more isolation? yes

-Patton is obviously the one who understands that his feelings are actually hurt

-he realizes how horrible they have all been to poor Logan

-more tears? yes

-getting mad at himself and the others? yes

-Patton going to Logan’s room only to be turned away? yes

-angst ensues

-Logan slowly but surely letting his walls down around Patton (the other two don’t even believe Patton and haven’t apologized because theres no need to, right?)

-Patton’s heart breaks every time he sees Logan’s smile die down when the other two enter the room

-Logan refusing to talk to the others because “get on with it, calculator watch” and “you’re the least favorite character and you know it”

-Patton has had enough

-Patton gets visibly angry at the other two for the first time in forever

-the two finally realize the damage they’ve done

-Logan refuses to let his walls down bc they only finally care bc Patton yelled at them, not because they actually feel bad

-more angst

-it isn’t until he catches Patton comforting a distraught Virgil and Roman that he understands that they’re actually sorry

- “he won’t even look at us, Pat” from Roman and “Out of all people, I should have understood” from Virgil

-Logan forgives them, but can’t forget

-M O R E T E A R S A N D A N G S T

-he still has a hard time letting his walls down

-every time the others see Logan, he tries to leave the room, and he stops talking and it breaks their heart because thats their fault

-it takes a long time for Logan to begin to talk to them again

-he catches himself talking too much and stops mid sentence, because they don’t care and he talks too much etc etc

-more tears

-im going to write this BYE

Far, far away (and hazy like a dream) - Chapter Two

Also published on AO3.

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Main Tags: Sanders Sides, Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a happy ending, Mental Health Issues, Human AU

General TW: Depersonalization, Spiraling, Panic Attacks

Pairings: None at the moment, platonic LAMP

I hope you enjoy!

__________________

It wasn’t the same as zoning out, he concluded as he tried to listen to his friend’s chattering over breakfast.

When he zoned out, it was different. Mainly, he didn’t have to fight it. He wouldn’t even be aware he did zone out until he would snap out of it, and after that everything would be clear again. Everything would make sense.

The fork next to his hand glistened softly in the warm yellow light of the café. He absently noticed that his skin was very pale. He felt pale. It was as if pale suddenly became a feeling, encompassing his body into a state of constant fragility. He kept staring at his hand and it was as if it didn’t even belong to him. It was just there. He sat, examining his fingers and tendons and wrist, feeling like he was seeing them for the very first time, borrowing the eyes of somebody else.

He felt like a ghost.

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