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Rewrote a Perl shopping cart system in PHP. Looked at it and thought, “that’s an easy rewrite”. No. Not really. But it was fun :)

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anonymous asked:

How was your day?

My little sister came to family program, which was super. 

I think I’m starting to acknowledge that I may experience anxiety in a different way than I thought I’d experience it and that it’s totally a thing in my life.

I still think sorting my m&m’s by color before eating them is normal and not disordered behavior.

The milieu is huge and it’s stressing me out and making me worried about the effectiveness of treatment and getting lost in the shuffle.

Both my old psychiatrist and my primary care doc texted me to check in today and that meant a lot. 

I got hungry randomly right after lunch and anxiety was through the roof. Like actually. Worked myself up SO MUCH before snack. Which was then totally fine. Naturally.

anonymous asked:

why do you think you will lose your career because of this? if you get over this eating disorder won't everything be okay?

I like to catastrophize. It’s one of my favorite thought distortions.

I’m worried that I won’t be successful and treatment won’t work and I’ll be in and out of ED treatment for the rest of my life and I’ll get kicked out of the navy as a result. I have no good reason to think this will happen. I haven’t failed treatment yet. But I’m anxious and a worrier so it suits me–you know, plan for the worst but hope for the best sort of outlook.


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tumblr keeps eating responses so this keeps getting shorter and shorter

ate 100% of the meal plan. acted like a baby and pouted and picked and used all the table behaviors and got called out for it

told the squad crew that I’m in treatment. found out my female officer totally actually gets it.

scared my therapist that things went haywire this weekend. scared I’m going to lose my career. scared treatment isn’t going to work. scared I’m going to get stuck in an endless cycle of treatment for the rest of my life

tomorrow: teaching med students and my sister is coming to family program session