Posts on Twitter:

story of my life #







ANNA CAFEにて満喫一人シーシャ 最近は息抜きとして利用中🍀 『女性だから』って見下される事も 多かったけど『女性だから』誰よりも お金が必要だし自分で稼ぎたい👍 その思いだけはずっと消えなかった ♯自由で堂々と女性らしくHAPPYに💗 ♯my life story










day night give thanks for the wonderful people I know teachers & guiding lights, my big inspiration Franko B of Love B’s life story can buy @❤️❤️















Retweet Retweeted Like Liked
























upMy life as a foreigner in AmericaTravel Tips link up life story in...






Posts on Tumblr:

anonymous asked:

Are you okay bby? -Stray Anon

To be honest… not really. Like I said excitedly many times today was the day when my hair would be reduced to half its length. And I did it and it’s even much more above my shoulders due to the curls.

My friend was convincing me for the longest time to cut my hair up to my shoulders and not further up and my mom was just against it at all. But because I’m a stubborn one I still cut it a lot more.

In the end it turns out my friend told my mom to hit me for it (not a lot though) which my mom did (I have no idea why) and later we had a fight about me goijg behind her back and going against her wishes.

I wanted to cut my hair short for the longest time now (2 years) but last year my mom convinced me to just dye it blonde so I obliged to her wishes. But I still want to get what I want and here we are. I fought with my mom and I think my friend and I won’t get along well for a while… so yeah I’m just peachy :)

anonymous asked:

Hello! I am currently writing a story featuring a character who starts off thinking that she's aro-ace, but then realises she's demisexual. Since you are both demi and a writer, I was wondering if I could ask you for some advice: how do I best write this character without seeming aphobic? Like the type of aphobia where people say that every ace/ago can fall in love, they just have to find the right person. Cuz I really don't want to give off that message in my writing. Thanks! :)

OMG, I’M GONNA CRY! THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR COMING TO ME ASKING FOR ADVICE ON THIS!!!

Okay now, let’s talk seriously. My experience is one of thinking I was Ace for one whole year, so I can help you with that, but not much with the aro part…

So, I discovered that there were asexual people out there thanks to the internet by literally googling “am I broken for not wanting to fuck ?”. After that - admittedly very shallow - research, I was a 16 year old girl coming out of years of depression, of being bullied by other girls into thinking I was broken. And for one whole year I knew exactly how I felt.

Next thing that happens? School starts. And I got my assigned seat behind a boy, a cute boy. At first I was like “oh, he’s cute” and dropped it, because no 17 year old boy really could have the level of maturity I looked for in a partner, or so I thought. That boy soon became one of the best parts of my day, we talked the whole class (in my country the class is the same and the teacher that comes and goes when the bell rings) about everything, politics, religion, food, jokes, family, how the headmaster of our military school was dumb, how imature our classmates were when someone was bullied and many other subjects.

For six months I thought of him as my best … Something, because we didn’t really acted as friends, or at least not as me and my other friends acted. So after he sends me a snapchat of a trash can with #selfie, my brain goes “ugh, how can I like this idiot?” And in that moment I realized, I like him. And that sucks because we never talked about anything near romance other than make fun of those couples that practically live as the same person.

So for two months I secretly panic about my crush while our conversations slowly make a turn for more personal stuff. He tells me about his ex-crush and how he is so pissed she chose a guy that has to pay to course his college ( in Brazil private universities are normally seen as a place where those who couldn’t get in the public ones - largely considered the best) and I tell him stories of never really crushing on anyone growing up, but still wanting a relationship, we talk about his first relationship and the end of it.

And for some reason we come to talk about virginity (he used to be kinda teased by his classmates for being a virgin) and he opens up to me unexpectedly to tell his story: he went on some dates with a girl he kinda liked and the girl and some of her friends basically pressured him to have sex with her, but he said it didn’t felt right, it was too forced and he kinda felt abused so he told everyone he didn’t have sex and was still a virgin, because to him that shouldn’t count. “It was almost like raping myself” he said. THAT was the moment I came out to him as asexual. He asked some questions and not for a moment judged me, he even hugged me (military school = no physical contact, so he was risking a really bad detention doing that) then thanked me for sharing this important part of me with him, and how I shouldn’t let anyone tell me I’m broken and etc.

That night I was thinking about what he said and then something hit me, if we were in a relationship, I would want to have sex with him. It wasn’t like “I wouldn’t mind” like I thought it would be, I really wanted. So I was up again researching about it and came to find the asexual-umbrella and the term Demisexual.

The next week I strongly avoided him, because ‘he was the reason I doubted my sexuality and so many insecurities came back’ and 'how can you tell someone “hey, remember what I told you yesterday? So, that changed because I want to have sex with you, but I don’t have idea if you even like me as more than a friend”?’. The next week I had to make a presentation on any subject I wanted and being lazy I chose the last thing I researched in depth to be it, so it was sexualities. I spoke for twenty minutes about sexualities and acceptance and everything, until the q&a part came and one kid asked me “and Wich one do you identify as?” And I answered “demisexual” without a beat. That was the moment my teacher exploded and called me names, 'liar’ and 'attention whore’ were one of them. (If you want to know about that experience, ask me and I’ll make a separate post about it)

He stopped texting, searching for me at school and asked to change places in class after that. The school year ended and with it came the graduation parties. Our school was one of the last.

One week before our party, I attended another graduation and around 1 AM a boy from my school came to me and said “hey, Lucas (changed his name) is here and he wants to kiss you”. Keep in mind the boy that came to me is a known asshole with a pleasure for humiliating anti-social girls (like me) whenever he discovered they liked someone, so instead of going to whatever place he wanted me to go I just said “well, if he is even here, he should come and ask me to my face, not that I would say yes”.

The party ends, I’m with my friends and I see him crying and asshole boy COMFORTING HIM. I fucked up my chances.

On our party (my school’s party) I go and ask him to talk, he agrees if he could bring a friend of ours to mediate the conversation, the guy was really chill and one of the few people that already knew I liked 'Lucas’, so I agreed. We go outside and I tell him “ I like you, for three months now, and this may be the last time we see each other so I decided to give no fucks about fear and just tell you that” his answer? He just whispers something in our friend’s ear and runs out of there. What he said was he already had a girl with him tonight. It hurt. So I went and found the most good looking guy I could find and kissed him right in front of the one that 'broke'my heart. Petty? Yes!

Turns out my ex-crush had had some family problems and was crying while I tried to show his I wasn’t hurt by his words.

Wish I could tell you there was a happy ending to all of this, but it wasn’t. That’s how I discovered my sexuality and had my heart broken. Sorry if this isn’t what you asked for, but I thought I should tell you the story to make it better to understand. What I’m trying to say was, I thought I had the answer and then something changed (it was not the right person, we both hurt each other) and I blamed him for it, because it’s weird if you think about it, we mostly think about what demisexuals feel but not how we feel or if we feel it only inside a relationship or how long till we feel it.

If you want more tips on how to write a demisexual character, I recommend you to watch 'sex education’ on Netflix. Otis, the main character is well written and basically goes from Ace to Demi and struggles with it a lot, the only problem in his narrative is the 'trauma caused by his seeing his dad fuck another woman when he is little’. Demisexual and asexual and grey-sexual and whatever sexual characters can have sexual traumas, but that isn’t the reason we are like that.

Thank you so much for asking me for advice and please, send me your work so I can be part of the fanbase!!!

Y'ALL IM SUPER SAD RIGHT NOW BECAUSE TOMORROW IM MEETING MY SISTER TO HAVE LUNCH BECAUSE ITS THE LAST TIME IM GONNA SEE HER BEFORE SHE LEAVES TO GO BACK TO COLLEGE ON SUNDAY AND I AM NOT OKAY.

Also, another sad thing is I have the closest relationship with my sister out of everyone in my family (my mom, stepdad and older brother) yet her and I haven’t lived under the same roof in almost 4 years and that says a lot about how my life is at home, if y'all were curious 😐

Throughout my life, there have been lots of times you might have asked me, “How did you get out of that one?” I did dangerous things, and dangerous things were done to me, but in the eleventh hour, something always told me when to run, how to survive.
—  Tina Turner

How deep?

How deep does she have her teeth in you??? How lost are you?? It’s a lot easier said then done, to help you. I love you way to much, and that’s why I am here now sick to my stomach worried about you.