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People don’t respect your personal space and they won’t give you the privacy you want, as if this was given to you and not one of your

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ANNA CAFEにて満喫一人シーシャ 最近は息抜きとして利用中🍀 『女性だから』って見下される事も 多かったけど『女性だから』誰よりも お金が必要だし自分で稼ぎたい👍 その思いだけはずっと消えなかった ♯自由で堂々と女性らしくHAPPYに💗 ♯my life story

day night give thanks for the wonderful people I know teachers & guiding lights, my big inspiration Franko B of Love B’s life story can buy @❤️❤️

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Posts on Tumblr:

tagged by @sweetsfuckingpea (thank u so much!! 💕)

rule one: tag nine people you want to get to know better

@yougetthelimooutfrontoohahooh @that-thing-with-the-stuff @emotionallysarcastic @steekerd @the-gargoyle-queen @sweetfogarty @thefiresfromheaven @slytherinintj13 @celestial-cheryl

rule two: bold the true statements:

I am 5'7 or taller

I wear glasses

I have at least one tattoo

I have at least one piercing

I have blonde hair

My abs are somewhat defined

I have or had braces

I love meeting new people

People tell me I’m funny

Helping people with their problems is a big priority to me

I enjoy physical challenges

I enjoy mental challenges

I’m playfully rude to people I know well

I started to say something ironically, now I can’t stop saying it

There is something I would change about my personality

I can play an instrument

I can sing well

I can do 30 push-ups without stopping

I’m a fast runner

I can draw well

I have a good memory

I’m good at doing math in my head

I can hold my breath underwater for over a minute

I have beaten at least two people in an arm wrestle

I know how to cook at least three meals from scratch

I can throw a punch

I enjoy sports

I have learned a new song in the past week

I’ve gone running at least once a week in summer

I work out at least once a week

I have drawn something in the last month

I enjoy writing

I have done martial arts

I have had my first kiss

I have had alcohol

I have scored a winning goal in sports

I have watched an entire season of a TV show in one sitting

I have been to an overnight event

I have been in a taxi

I have been in a hospital/er in the past year

I have beaten a video game in one day

I have visited another country

I have been to one of my favorite band’s concerts

I have at least one person I consider a best friend

I live close to my school (work?)

My parents are still together

I have at least one sibling

I live in the US

There is snow right now where I live

I have hung out with friends in the past month

I have a smartphone

I have at least 15 CDs

I share my room with somebody

I have a crush on a celebrity

I have a crush on someone I know

I have been in at least three relationships

I have asked someone out or admitted my feelings to them

I get crushes easily

I have had a crush for over a year

I have been in a relationship for more than a year

I have had feelings for a friend

I have break danced

I know a person called Jamie

I have had a teacher with a last name hard to pronounce

I have dyed my hair

I am listening to a song on repeat right now

I have punched someone in the past week

I have known someone who has gone to jail

I have broken a bone

I have eaten a waffle today

I know what to do with my life

I speak at least 2 languages

I made a new friend in the last year

How long, before i get over you?

How long, before I’m just a memory?

How long, before you forget my name?

How long, before you stop looking for me in places we used to meet?

How long, before you forget what i feeled for you?

How long, till you get over me?

Well, if I’m honest, i, myself, think I’ll never be over you.

You’ll always belong in my heart.

In that little corner, that you took. There you’ll always be, reminding that I’ll never be able to have you.

It hurts, but I can’t do anything about.

I can’t take you out of there, you’ll take my heart with you, or you already have.

How long… I wonder.


Sonhos e experiências: a estranha de 25 anos

Oie !

Começarei a usar meu tumblr para contar algumas coisas que tenho vivido e compartilhar coisas que gosto.

Se alguém se identificar comigo, já me sentirei grata por isso.

Num mundo digital, onde aparentemente todas as vidas são perfeitas, menos a nossa.

Estou prestes a completar 25 anos, e sinto que não cumpri nada até aqui. Sei que muitos se sentem assim.

Comecemos então a compartilhar nossas experiências e dicas ❤️

My Early Childhood Pt. 1

Hey, so this is gonna get really personal really fast, meaning if this kind of stuff makes you uncomfortable it’s time to exit the building before reaching that point. I don’t even know if anyone’s going to read this and, honestly, I don’t care. I guess I’m doing this just to sort my own head out and have a written account of my life.

Well anyways, let’s get this started. First things first, I was born to a married couple (something that didn’t last very long), and into a very odd family (at least in my opinion). One of the first things my grandma said when I was born was that I had the kind of fingers suited for piano and that my lips were the perfect shape for applying lipstick. I know, that was an odd thing for her to say, but if you knew her and her life it would make sense.

Some background on my grandparents is that they were born in the late 1920’s, grew up in the great depression, and both were raised racist (which is something they managed to throw out the window in regards to raising their own children). My grandma used to save everything, simply for the fact she was never sure if they might need it again (you know, because the great depression was when there was rationing on food/clothing/ingredients). My grandpa had brothers that fought in World War Two, while he served during the Korean war (he never went overseas, he managed to gain the favor of a higher general or something who kept him stateside). As I’ve grown up I’ve learned things about my grandparents that I didn’t know previously, which I guess removed the clouds from my vision in regards to them.

When I was little I kind of held them on a pedestal, thinking they were perfect solely for the way that they loved me. Now that I’m older and have perspective and more information at my disposal, it’s clear to see that they obviously weren’t perfect. First is the fact that try as they might to 100% wipe out their racist upbringing, apparently my grandpa was still prone to telling jokes of that manner. Which is something I was very upset about when I learned of it, it was kind of hard to take in. In regards to my grandma, she suffered some severe psychological trauma at the hands of her alcoholic father, something she never got treated for (which is what she should’ve done). Due to this trauma her behavior was never fully normal, she didn’t like to open up emotionally. Keep in mind though, that the reason I still held them at such a high place for the majority of my childhood and adolescence is because they died when I was in early elementary school.

Okay, enough about my grandparents and back to the main story. I was my mom’s first child and my father’s second (and up to this day I’m still his only daughter). Let me nickname them, so henceforth in this scenario my mom is Mary and my father is Paul. Mary met Paul (I don’t exactly remember how they met- I found out it was on a website from the late 90’s) and he was such a charmer, said all the right things. Mary felt her biological clock ticking (she was in her late 30’s at this point) but she was so charmed by Paul that she felt he was the best option, so they got married. Sooner or later I was born! This was enough time though to realize that Paul was not the guy he made himself out to be.

Instead of the charming, caring man that Mary thought she married, she got a man with severe mood swings, who was terrible with his finances, and was a cheater. It’s difficult for me to know if Paul ever loved Mary, but I am quite aware of how much Mary loved Paul. After all, I grew up in the sole custody of Mary. I’ve never really gotten to know Paul very well, he left when I was a baby (leaving my mom for another woman, despite being aware he was leaving me behind). The courts granted Mary sole custody of me, with, I think, visitation rights (that Paul never used because he moved to a different STATE). I guess I never really understood what a father was supposed to be, I was just jealous I didn’t have one. Though when I was younger I used to imagine that a father (or dad really it just feels weird for me to type that word) was someone who tucks you in at night and reads you a bedtime story, someone who crushes all the bugs, someone who teaches you to ride a bike or the basics of baseball.

A few years passed and maybe when I was 6 or 7, his parental rights were terminated (he’d also stopped paying child support at this time- Paul had somehow convinced Mary to not use the court as the go between for paying child support). Now, I was given two different reasons as to why his rights were terminated, both at different times. The first time was when everything was initially going down, I was told that he raped someone (a niece or friend’s daughter) and was in jail. Later on, when I was a teen, I was told that it was because he had a violent episode and was in one of his ex’s house and had a knife to her throat. Though, now I have come to find out that because of reason two, Mary was scared of Paul and thus terminated his rights while he was in jail. 

Well, I think I should call it a night at this point. I’ll write more soon. Thanks for sticking around to read this, you know, if anybody actually does.


A day in the life of a Lotus…

Once upon a time, a Lotus woke up on a warm Sunday morning.

As any decent Potter head, she had her morning coffee in her favourite Dark Lord cup.

Then, she sat at her desk and tended to some unopened work emails.

Looking out the window and realizing the workaholic she was, she decided not to waste such glamorous weather indoors behind a screen.

So, she packed her humble leftover-based lunch, headed outside, and found a nice vacant spot by the mini river nearby.

And of course she missed not to bring along some mind food as well. In fact, once settled, she started reading the novel she has been intending to finish a couple of months before.

But as usual, she got distracted from its slow paced events and started sketching instead.

And she sketched some more.

And then…….

Then she had to run home to pee!

- Lotus @lotuswords

The first reason.

I used to be an amazing Student. My best subject always used to be English. Straight A’s. Though i was still a little trouble maker. I was able to read out clear and loudly when i entered the first grade and always had a thing for Art class. I had so much fun by letting out my creativity. The only thing that annoyed me, was that they were all criticising my stuff. Sure criticism is good, but when you are a fragile first grader hearing something along the lines of “That’s not good enough for Art class.” from the teacher you always looked up to destroys you. I stopped loving Art when I just entered third grade. I just did what i had to do. And that was the bare minimum of what i did in art class.

I watched the new video about the slender stabbing in Wisconsin and it reminded me how much it affected me. It happened 5 years ago and I was the same age as the girls, 12. I remember going to the store in Waukesha, which is about an hour from my town, and finding a news paper with the headline about the story. It really scared me since it felt so close, and it even freaked out my parents to stop letting go to sleep overs or playing in the woods near my house. I remember lying in bed and watching my window to see if a smooth face would appear. Does anyone else understand this?

This fucking song! Rebecca sugar how dare you hit my feels like this!!

If I could begin to be

Half of what you think of me

I could do about anything

I could even learn how to love

When I see the way you act

Wondering when I’m coming back

I could do about anything

I could even learn how to love like you

Love like you

I always thought I might be bad

Now I’m sure that it’s true

‘cause I think you’re so good

And I’m nothing like you

Look at you go

I just adore you

I wish that I knew

What makes you think I’m so special

If I could begin to do

Something that does right by you

I would do about anything

I would even learn how to love

When I see the way you look

Shaken by how long it took

I could do about anything

I could even learn how to love like you

Love like you

Love me like you


Also, another sad thing is I have the closest relationship with my sister out of everyone in my family (my mom, stepdad and older brother) yet her and I haven’t lived under the same roof in almost 4 years and that says a lot about how my life is at home, if y'all were curious 😐