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HAPPY BDAY !!! Miss you tons & hope your birthday is as perfect as you! LOVE you sm for life💖



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Gotta love UP!

Just to make it clear: If you drink, I don’t care. I don’t mind being around alcohol, and depending on what’s there I might ask to have a sip or two (alcohol is Not Good For My Heart so. you know. there’s that). I like wine and certain types of beers (I admit to being picky regarding beer).
My mom drinks responsibly. She has been the model of a responsible drinker since before I understood what that meant.
My father does not drink responsibly. He’s an alcoholic, after all. I likely drives while he’s drunk and that’s honestly one of the worst things to think about.
Gods, what if he’d had a seizure in the car??? I can’t think about that, I’m going to get even more upset.
To be entirely clear: it’s really just the quantity—-particularly the excess—-that bothers me, specifically an individual’s excess drinking.

anonymous asked:

you KNOW which crime loving couple i'm going to request

shops for groceries: i know this is debbie x lou but tammy comes over weekly and brings groceries because she knows that the two of them are singlehandedly keeping the chinese restaurant down the street in business.

kills the spiders: debbie absolutely despises bugs, and will scream in the shower and plaster herself into the corner until lou comes in and kills spiders for her. “you could handle 5 years in prison but not some itty bitty spider, deb? don’t be such a pussy, babe.” “you know what they say, lou. you are what you eat.”

comes home drunk at 3am: nine ball takes debbie out one night and afterwards she crawls into bed next to lou, poking her in the ribs until she unwillingly opens her eyes and listens to debbie drone on and on about the useless men that tried to talk to her. “and you know what I told them, lou?” “what, deb.” “that unless they were 5’8’’, blonde, had a killer rack and an accent that could drop panties, I wanted nothing to do with them. and then I stole all their wallets.” “that’s my girl.”

makes breakfast: lou, managing to rise at god awful hours, happily makes debbie bacon & eggs with a bowl of frosted flakes for her inner child.

remembers to feed the fish: lou has some weird fascination with japanese moss balls, so debbie does a little research and purchases some expensive fish that would bond with them well. she loves watching lou say good morning to each of the fish before she feeds them.

decorates the apartment: lou has an eye for interesting pieces picked up from thrift stores and antique stores. debbie likes to tease her, asking how she feels to have a bunch of dead peoples items in her apartment.

initiates duets: not many people get to see the side of lou that dances in the middle of the living room to records that spin anything from etta james to the arctic monkeys. so on those rare occasions, debbie allows herself to be pulled up and sing along to whatever lou’s got on that day.

falls asleep first: debbie, because after 5 years on an uncomfortable prison cot, the space between lou’s arms feels like floating a soft cloud. the expensive mattress that lou had shipped in the day before debbie came back home also doesnt hurt.

anonymous asked:

Foxxay of course

shops for groceries: cordelia, but misty will come to tag along behind cordelia and try to sneak pop tarts into the cart. she almost gets banned from costco once when she tries to free the lobsters in the tank and cordelia has to promise the manager that misty won’t sue the store like she swears up and down that she will.

kills the spiders: misty adores when the girls call for her at all hours of the day to take the bugs they find outside except for the time she’s trying to jump cordelias bones and coco found a spider for the 3rd time that day. “jesus christ, you think she’d learn to close her window by now, delia.”

comes home drunk at 3am: cordelia loves it when misty shyly asks her if she can go out with zoe and queenie because she’s secretly in love with the way misty comes home stumbling into bed, whispering about how many men tried to hit on her. “oh, dee, you shoulda seen the look on this one guys face when i told him i had a beautiful wife at home waiting up for me.” it makes cordelia laugh to think about all the heartbroken men that don’t get to wake up next to misty.

makes breakfast: misty loves bringing cordelia breakfast in bed, and eventually cordelia learns to love the taste of meat-less sausage. the first couple times were rough

remembers to feed the fish: misty decides one morning that cordelias office needs a little sprucing up so she arranges for a giant fish tank to be delivered and set up. when cordelia comes in misty has already given each of them names, and she looks so excited that cordelia sighs and figures she’ll have to actually try and keep them alive for her sake

decorates the apartment: cordelia eats, sleeps, and breathes for decorating, dragging misty to pier 1 and ikea multiple times a month. misty can only look at decorative pillows so many times before she flops down on one of the showroom beds and waits until cordelia comes to collect her and pries her off it.

initiates duets: misty doesn’t expect cordelia to know and learn every fleetwood mac song so when she’s humming along one afternoon and cordelia shyly joins in she claps her hands in excitement and encourages her to keep going.

falls asleep first: cordelias always very very tired so most nights she’ll fall asleep in the middle of one of mistys stories, head on her chest. it’s not her fault misty scratching her head softly never fails to help her drift off to sleep

victoria’s tag dump !!

number two’s “maggie hoyle” tag dump !!

gingerthymelord  asked:

wait okay okay okay. what if and hear me out,,,, debbie x lou x tammy

your mind……………

how often they have sex: sometimes lou and tammy will plan it so they’re seconds from boning when debbie walks in, but otherwise a couple time a week? 3-5ish days

who is better at dirty talk: lou but tammys got a filthy mouth on her that really, really gets debbie going

which kinks they share: my girl tam tam loves to be tied up and lou is always willing to help out

their favorite roleplay scenario/fantasies: none I can think of? what more do you need than 3 beautiful women

which sextoys they use: strap ons, bullet vibes

their favorite form of foreplay: tammy loves massages, and debbie can go 0-100 when tammy and lou nibble at her ears

their favorite place to have sex: their bed because tammy is a pillow princess change my mind

gingerthymelord  asked:

debbie x lou cause i knlw i'm a hoe

it’s ok we all are

how often they have sex: regularly, 5-6 a week?? lou works long nights a bitch is tired

who is better at dirty talk: ok NEWSFLASH lou speaks a little french and when she likes to get a little dirty she’ll whisper erotic things in debbies ear. 0-100 real fuckin quick

which kinks they share: light humiliation, BDSM

their favorite roleplay scenario/fantasies: IS COP AND ROBBER TOO MUCH ALSKSJSJ

which sextoys they use: not to be……gay but let’s just dwell on the image of debbie riding lou’s strap.

their favorite form of foreplay: when they were younger almost getting caught was like a high for them and they’d spend hours fucking afterwards

their favorite place to have sex: club bathrooms, their couch, the rooftop patio

anonymous asked:

foxxay for the nsfw ship thing pls

im just here to give the gays what they want

how often they have sex: daily? i mean more than once if cordelias stressed but like i said misty is trying to shove cordelias fingers inside her 24/7

who is better at dirty talk: misty 100% change my mind. one time she says something so dirty it surprises herself and cordelia has to pause and jokingly ask where she learned it from (it was madison)

which kinks they share: light BDSM

their favorite roleplay scenario/fantasies: is teacher/student too on the nose? because if not misty likes to play the teacher role sometimes

which sextoys they use: let cordelia fuck misty with a strap on you cowards!!!!!

their favorite form of foreplay: cordelia is rly sensitive so all it takes is a couple well placed kisses to certain areas

their favorite place to have sex: literslly their bed. cordelia had it delivered from sweden and it’s. a lot more comfortable than their greenhouse countertop

anonymous asked:

deb/lou!! and just for fun debbie/tammy or lou/daphne

where can I write to send my undying love for u

I’ll do deb x lou and deb x tammy bc I’m a slut for both ok xo

debbie x lou

Who worries about how they will look when they’re older: neither really, lou knows debbie will still try and cop a feel in the nursing home when they’re old.

Who makes the mix tapes/cd’s: lou has the most eclectic and unusual taste in music, something debbie missed the most in prison was being able to lie on the couch and just listen to lou hum along to some song she’s never heard of and without so many words lou makes her a CD of all the songs she’s collected that remind her of debbie as a welcome back present.

Clings to the other during scary movies: debbie claims to be oh so bold and tough, but that’s quickly proved wrong when lou puts on a shitty horror film one night. she spends the rest of the time making fun of her while debbie tries to maintain her reputation.

Gets into the shower with the other randomly: lou will just saunter on in whenever she feels the need. “hey, I’m showering here if you haven’t noticed” “oh, no, I just thought you were training for a 5k in here”

Flashes the other when they walk by after taking a shower alone: lou doesn’t so much flash as she does walk back in the room naked without a care in the world. debbie doesn’t even care that she drips water everywhere as long as she bends over to grab pants from the bottom drawer.

Initiates hand holding while the other is driving: lou just holds out her hand for debbie to grab because she knows that even when she drives, debbie needs some part of her body to touch.

Secretly tries to touch the other in naughty places during public/family events: lou would fuck her in the middle of her dance floor if she could, but refrains. debbie usually pulls her into the bathroom for quickies when lou gets that look. there’s also that time debbie almost got them kicked out of their favorite restaurant they actually pay at because she had to finger fuck lou under the table.

Asks weird questions in the middle of the night: “deb, do you ever wonder if I went to prison I’d be someone’s prison wife or would I make someone else my wife?” “if you even think that I’d let either of those scenarios happen you’re more senile than I thought” “I wasn’t joking” “do I have to say it? you’d obviously make someone your bitch, lou”

Asks “what are you thinking about?”: lou, because she likes to know that debbie’s not dwelling too hard on the past

Always has to be touching the other, (if either of them do): i mean they’re usually tame about touching each other in front of the girls because they’ll get the usual “ew, moms, chill out” but debbie will not be able to fall asleep if her heads not on lous chest or hands are around her waist

debbie x tammy

Who worries about how they will look when they’re older: tammy may or may not have spent a large chunk of her $38 mil on anti-aging cream that debbie takes one look at and replies “you know I’ll still want to bone you when we’re like 95 right?”

Who makes the mix tapes/cd’s: tammy doesn’t make a musical mix tape but buys debbie audiobooks for her long drives that are actually so sweet in retrospect because they’re all about self help and self love

Clings to the other during scary movies: they both despise them so naturally it’s all lou puts on during movie nights. they spend that time whispering playfully about how mean lou is to them until she turns it off and they all f*ck

Gets into the shower with the other randomly: debbie will slide right in behind tammy and pretend to act innocent until they’re washing each other and debbie gets handsy.

Flashes the other when they walk by after taking a shower alone: tammy will come out wearing a robe that leaves nothing to the imagination and when debbie audibly makes her needs known tammy will pretend to act dumb and gives her quick peeks.

Initiates hand holding while the other is driving: debbie will try to slide a hand up tammys thigh and she’ll swat it away until debbie agrees to just hold her hand.

Secretly tries to touch the other in naughty places during public/family events: debbie will back her into corners in public like she did in tammys garage and they almost get kicked out of dozens of places for public indecency.

Asks weird questions in the middle of the night: “tam?” “yes debbie.” “do you think big foot is real? I once dated a guy hairy enough to be considered proof” “debra, shut up”

Asks “what are you thinking about?”: tammy, because the mom in her is always questioning things

Always has to be touching the other, (if either of them do): debbie has a weakness for the way tammys soft skin feels, especially after a shower because she uses some $1500 body lotion that makes her skin feel amazing

anonymous asked:

debbie and lou!!!

i owe u my life

Which one sexts like a straight white boy? lou, because it makes debbie laugh to get a text that just says “u up? show me ur tits”

Which one cried during a fucking disney movie? debbie, she only puts them on when she needs a good cry. on those nights lou just throws a blanket over her, calls for chinese, and has her hand ready on standby for debbie to hold.

Who put a goddamned fork in the microwave? ……..debbie. “what do you mean I’ll burn the place down? it’s a fucking fork not a nuclear bomb.”

Who does the silly hands-over-the-eyes “Guess who” thing? debbie, because it makes lou roll her eyes and eventually giggle at the stupidity. that’s what she lives for; making lou giggle.

Who puts their cold hands/feet on their partner? lou has the coldest feet, and claims the only thing that warms them up is jabbing them into debbie’s calves repeatedly. her cold hands are eventually put to good use after debbie tries and fails to squirm away from them.

Who had that embarassing Reality TV marathon? god, debbie loves the real housewives. lou will lounge with her and pretend to understand that lisa rinna is the one with the big lips and lisa vanderpump has the swans. debbie gave up trying to explain after the 5th consecutive episode.

Who laughs more during sex? they both laugh…….it’s called equality ladies look it up. although lou is very ticklish and debbie can elicit phrases like “you absolute devil” from lou when her fingers brush a particular spot, which makes her laugh freely. she’s never laughed like that with anyone change my mind

WHO IS THE LITTLE SPOON? ok so I feel like this has to do with the top vs. bottom debate which y’all don’t have time to listen to me talk about so……the little spoon is usually debbie. but lou will def let debbie hold her some nights so don’t bother trying to change my mind because im right

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