Cure Tension and Anxiety | Stress Relief & Healing Music | Binaural Beats Meditation
How do you snap out of an unhealthy attachment? Can attachments be healthy?
Attachments cause us suffering because no matter what the attachment is to (a person, an event, a material object, an emotion etc) attachments are a clinging to something which is not static - as with everything else our objects of attachment are impermanent, slowly eroding, leaving, changing or dying, and are in fact empty. We would like the things we are attached to to be permanent and unchanging so that we can always enjoy them. This denial of unceasing change inevitably causes us suffering, even if we are attached to “good” things such as helping others, the Dharma, our loved ones or careers we enjoy. There are attachments which can be healthy in the short-to-medium term, such as attachment to healthy eating, good sleep, exercise, socialising etc. But in the end any attachment can and almost certainly will, cause us to suffer, when circumstances become unfavourable to that attachment.
It is difficult to break ingrained attachments, especially to people we love. We can bring a ‘passive’ and an 'active’ practice to life which can help remedy this: the active stage is repeated contemplation of the fleeting and ever-changing nature of everything and everyone. Nothing is permanent or exempt from change! We can ponder this as often as we like, how yesterday no longer exists, and soon neither will today or even the previous hour, how people we love change in their personality and mind as well as the aging of their bodies. How material objects break and rust and rip and crumble away. Sincerely contemplate - can you ever find stable lasting happiness in things which are themselves neither stable nor lasting?
The more passive method we can employ requires a lot of courage, but the reward is almost limitless: acceptance. Whatever we can accept cannot defeat us. We watch the seasons change, we watch our careers climb or slip, we watch our loved ones age and die, we watch our material possessions break or be lost, we watch our own mind-body change and deteriorate and we accept all of it. We don’t have to like it, that’s not the point. But we can accept it; all of life and its fleeting graces. If you can do that, then you’re already free.