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I swear you can fit two of me in here

anonymous asked:

Do you like cum?

wow i wasn’t expecting such a blunt question! i wasn’t sure if i was gonna answer it at first but i said i’d answer anything.

yeah, i totaly do <3

it’s been a while since i’ve really thought about my labels, but it’s all i can focus on now due to some recent changes in my life. i’m sex-favorable; i’ve known this ever since i figured out i was ace and this never bothered me until now, when i’ve met someone who’s interested in me that i trust. i never considered my place in the rest of the ace community, but once i started poking around on internet forums and social media tags to try and find advice from other sex-favorable individuals, i realized that i couldn’t find anything. the only benign depiction and discussion surrounding favorable aces is in fanfiction, where there’s an overrepresentation of sex-favorable aces. even at the loss of representation for sex-repulsed aces, i’ve found this little niche to be a great comfort because it’s the only space i’ve found where:

a. people like me/my perspective is actually given any attention beyond the quick ‘some aces are willing to sleep with their partners’ disclaimer attached to most informative posts on ace-related topics.

b. allo people most willingly and prolifically create ace-related content, because i like seeing how other people explore and interpret asexuality.

i know that it isn’t good that we (unintentionally) believe that characters and stories are only interesting if there’s smut, and i know that the pressure to 'not ruin the mood and just say yes’ hurts people, and that i shouldn’t speak for the whole community because my alignment is rare, but god dammit, this kind of fic is the only media i can find that shows explicitly ace people enjoying sex and actively seeking it out.

again, i know it’s simply a result of demographics, but the overarching idea in asexual circles and their public perception is a disinterest/aversion in pursuing partners for lack of attraction, usually paired with a lowered libido. it’s totally unintentional, but it ends up alienating aces who do enjoy sex. a similar thing happens to bisexuals who show interest in members of the opposite gender or transgender people who choose not to transition or lesbians who once dated men. you end up feeling guilty about yourself, because you’re not 'good’ at what you’re supposed to be and everyone says that you’re sullying and betraying your community’s image by 'acting straight’. i’m not suggesting that we overhaul everything about the ace community to put a small minority in the spotlight, but i am saying that i’m happy to take what i can get from media and i wish that there were more spaces for sex-favorable aces to talk about their experiences. i know i’m bad at being ace– i’m also bad at being aro and agender. but i’d feel more broken calling myself straight and cis than i do calling myself what i am now. human emotions and psychology is ambiguous and subjective and bizarre, and we can’t try to fit people into narrowly-defined boxes. a community obsessed with purity will always end in exclusion.