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The story of a sensitive, gifted African American girl who tells us with mordant humour what it feels like to spend every day wishing so hard that you could fly away from it all.

Sometimes my grief hit me so damn hard it's like a punch to the gut. I miss my son so much.

I Love You Now Until Forever is written from the heart, motivated by the Blake and his family experienced and what he found to be a lack of appropriate children’s literature to help them grieve. To order kindly send us a DM or email us.

Burn Fat While You Sleep! Let’s be honest – many of us have goals, which can be more or less achievable and satisfactory. Even if we have not reached the age of 20, we are still stru ..

Wrongful Death Losing someone is an incredibly difficult and stressful process. And while time may bring comfort, you should understand your immediate legal options, especially if your loss was a result of another's negligence. Contact us today.

Join us April 24 for General Loss Group, a monthly drop-in support group for adults facilitated by Marsha L. Raynes, LCSW which meets on the 4th Wednesday of each month:

Join us for the 7th Annual Conference on Help, Healing and Hope After Loss that brings together people who are the of a loved one to a sudden, unexpected death and those who are supporting a grieving person:

Historical Fiction- follow the life of Rose a heroine of her era. Page turner from beginning to end. and

Join us April 24 for General Loss Group, a monthly drop-in support group for adults facilitated by Marsha L. Raynes, LCSW which meets on the 4th Wednesday of each month:

When u experience a u can feel 2 types of ; false fear (FF) & real fear. FF can scare you, but it cannot you. To deal with it: acknowledge it & then tell it to leave.

For those suffering a personal loss, there is a Bereavement Support Program at Uxbridge Cottage Hospital. Please contact us for more information.

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Join us April 24 for General Loss Group, a monthly drop-in support group for adults facilitated by Marsha L. Raynes, LCSW which meets on the 4th Wednesday of each month:

Don't forget you can pop into any of our branches covering . We are always happy to discuss our services with you. If you need us, we are here; 🌻🌻🌻

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We’d been searching for so long. I would search a million more years if I had to.

But it ended like this.. In this world. I guess it was our sort of fate, written in our souls before we even had a choice.

But maybe it’s best this way, at least I keep saying that.

But it doesn’t ease the pain. In fact, it just gets harder.

Oh how we are so so different than the rest or the world.. Ah but that’s truly the best.

You promised you will always find me. Always wait for me.

Now I just have to find you. My dear, I promise I’m searching.

One day I will lay down. Close my eyes. And my search will be over. Finally, I can run into your arms.

And I’ll keep you there forever.

Our souls journey will finally be complete.

I woke up crying today. I didnt even know that was possible. Who knew if you fell asleeo crying you could keep it up unconciously for 7 hours .
Not me.
The suns shinning through my window, birds are chirping in the garden.
Stupid nature. Dont they know the world has ended?
I look to the window uselessly. What do I expect to see? A car? You running to the door with flowers?
Yeah right. I’m not in a movie. This is real life. In real life the prince doesnt show up with a boom box get down on one knee and admit to his wrongs.
Real life is the prince is a reasonably handsome boy who is emotionally unavailable and is wonderful at convincing you he wants you forever but doesnt explain his definition of forever differs from yours.

I have to tell people at some point. I wonder who already knows. I want desperately to check my phone, but its dead.
I turn on my labtop and sign in. Youre online.
I open your tab. What do I write?
“Hey, its me, Im so sad and heart broken and crying please come over and un-break up with me? ”
Yeah… That will go over great.
Youre offline now anyway. Guess you saw I was online.
I wonder if you’ve changed your status?
I click in your profile… It says “send friend request”. You unfriended me?!
This brings on a whole new wave of hysteria. Its been hours…. Hours! And you unfriended me?
Oh sure… All those whispered we’ll always be togethers and promises and in a second Im not even worthy of your profile affiliation. I cant do this…
It’s crushing. Its literally crushing me. Tears stream so much my eyes are blury and I can barely see. I want to burry my face in my pillow but it smells like you still…. This isnt making it better. Your face, your smile… Your lips… Your hands… I can actually feel exactly where you would be holding me right now.
As if the ghost of you is all the comfort I have.
The absense of you makes it worse.
I fall asleep crying again.

When I awake… Its afternoon. Phones charged.
No calls. Not texts. I imagine 100 diffetent reasons to call you… Each one more desperate then the last. It takes every ounce of strength I have to put the phone down.
Its not just loosing you… Its loosing myself. My life. My dreams and goals.
They were all intertwined with you. Every detail. We had years planned, everything we were working on was towards our future together. A combination of your dreams and mine.
You took it all from me when you left.. My future… My identity
I am nothing without you.

When I’m gone

We found her with her face down in the pillow.

Clinging to his picture for dear life.

And a note that says “I’ll love him past I die”.

Life is short, but this time it was bigger.

Than the strength she had to get up off her knees.

We laid her next to him beneath the willow.

And the angels sang a lullaby..

What we had was truly special. Something to be admired and even envied by others. A true and beautiful connection that some could only dream of. I feared so greatly that I would inevitably lose something and someone so amazing because I was never deserving of it or of you.

A self-fulfilling prophecy if there ever was one. Everything I did to prevent it from happening only made it more so. I destroyed everything that we had built together and it was by my own hand that I lost the only person to make me feel complete and truly happy.

I was your world as you were mine. “Now I am become death, the destroyer of worlds." 

I put so much of myself into you that when you left, you took a piece of me with you; a piece that I can never get back. I haven’t felt like a whole person since. It feels like I’m being held together with duct tape and screws and every day is a struggle just hold it all together and keep myself from falling apart. 

I know hardly anyone will read this but that is fine. I just need to journal my feelings anonymously somewhere. I feel flat, like a flat tire. I feel hopeless. I’ve felt somewhat hopeless for a year. I had passions and I’m not really passionate about much anymore. I lost someone close to my heart a year ago. They’re still alive as far as I know but I had to let them go. I loved them with every fibre of my being and I was devastated. Now, I guess I feel ‘okay’ or better than I used to feel, but I think part of me is numb. I don’t write from the same well of emotion and feeling that I used to. I feel broken by life. I am tired and low on money. I have low energy mentally to complete projects I used to enjoy. I feel kind of dead inside. No charisma. No enthusiasm to dance, to go anywhere. I’m scared I’ll never feel like my old self again. What can I even do with myself.

Every day is the same. I do everything I can to not think about you only to inevitably fail. At that moment, my heart and mind both scream as one and everything falls apart. I fall asleep later that night, letting the tears roll down my face as I think about what once was. I then wake up again the next morning without you by my side and my heart breaks all over again.


-dedicated to those who have felt loss and regret-

I stood transfixed at the precipice of your soul. Your hypnotic blue eyes shot arrows through me. Your breath blew warmth into my flesh like I’ve never felt before. Our hands touched and electricity cascaded through my veins. I held you, unable to force myself to let you go. You were too precious to hand over to the world’s claws. You were too beautiful, too unique, too mysterious. Our lives collided in a glorious explosion of emotions. Our hearts beat as one, no longer alone in the great unknown.

And now I stand alone. Peering into the terrifying, black abyss of loneliness. My entire being shattered from heartbreak. The regret of losing you screams at my very existence. Ear-splitting shrills that don’t stop until my brain is throbbing. It follows me everywhere I go in daylight. It torments me in moonlight. Our souls ache to find each other once again, but too late did I realize my desperate need for you. Agonizingly I drag myself to live the day through. Agonizingly I come home at night, never to you. Never again to your unforgettable smile and your arms open wide to protect me from the world’s insults. You will never be forgotten. You will never lose my love. You will always be a memory. A beautiful, horrible memory. You.

anonymous asked:

I want to talk to her, but everytime I've practiced articulating what i want to say, I feel like I sound like I'm just looking for sympathy or making a weak excuse. Do you have any advice on how I can approach this with her/make this friendship healthier? Sorry for such a long ask lol, I hope you're doing well and you had a great day!! (3/3)

hi anon. i currently am unable to copy & paste the rest of your messages – but you know what you asked, and i read all three of the messages. my question to you is – what benefit are you getting from being friends with her? what is it adding to your life? it sounds like her presence and the toxicity of your relationship is only giving you negativity and bad energy…so maybe it’s meant to be that you guys just go separate ways, for your own sake?


I know I’m not the only one that feels this way, but Tumblr feels like a corpse we keep feeding trying to bring it back to life.

I’ve been on & off of Tumblr for YEARS, and it feels like there’s no content on here.

My personal grievance is the fact this was basically the last “free” site. I used to run a Piczo (if anyone remembers this site you’ll get free cookies 🍪) and it’s were I found my love for editing site & loved how it allowed you to do whatever the hell you wanted. After Piczo closed, Tumblr was the only website I could find that would allow some sort of expression but it still wasn’t a perfect match.

Removing “explicit” content from Tumblr was the wrong way to grow. I don’t think the Tumblr creators genuinely knew how much content & users they would loose. Honestly once they changed I really didn’t want to keep my tumblr, which is why my main account is only for sharing my art via instagram app.

Idk - just another ramble. But can anyone recommend some more websites similar to Tumblr or Piczo? I don’t want to create a “website” but I miss the Tumblr community and would love a website that would allow creativity again.