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I accidentally lost myself in my identification

I don’t know how to put this into words. I guess that so much of my pre-acceptance (of sexuality) phase was spent denying such an integral part of myself, that my identity has grown around protecting that part of me. I spent so much time and energy trying to accept that part of me, that it consumes me. And I know that I would be a different person if I was a cis-heterosexual neurotypical person. But I don’t know how different I would be. I don’t know how much of my identity is tied to how I love, my relationship to my gender, and the intactness of my mind. And I don’t think my identity should be tied so integrally to those aspects of myself. I think I’m being consumed by these parts of myself that should make being alive more interesting, not more challenging. Maybe I’m overthinking this. But. But. If anyone has ever asked you to describe yourself or asked you who you are - and if the first things that come to your mind are your sexuality/gender and mental health, then maybe you understand this post better than you think you do. I’m not saying that love, self, and health aren’t important or aren’t a part of us. I’m just saying… maybe they’re not all there is to us. I don’t know. I think I’m just trying to say that maybe a lot of people on this site don’t know who they are, or tie all their worth into their labels… and maybe those two things are connected. There’s nothing wrong with having a label, but I’m starting to think that it’s a matter of life or death to understand we don’t live in the boxes meant to hold only names.

Labels are crap

Labels are crap, and let me explain why.

They always are attached to stereotypes, there is no getting away from that. And stereotypes almost always get turned bad if they aren’t from the beginning.

As far as I remember, the first label I had was “wearing glasses” (in kindergarden). The stereotypes that came with that - smart, know-it-all, you name it. Doesn’t help that I apparently actually was a smart kid. In middle school my glasses were knocked off several times “by accident” in gym class.

That was the next label - “smart kid”.


This is a great video about that.

My best friend in elementary school regularly called me an “expert”, for just knowing some stuff.

In third grade I started doing karate. And oh boi, the stereotypes connected to “karateka”. “Oh, then I gotta be careful” is a sentence I have heard so often after mentioning I did karate. As if practicing martial arts automatically made me aggressive and dangerous. I also had to take some (unpleasant) karate kid jokes in middle school.

Also in third grade I became a vegetarian. Merlin, what I had to endure because of that label in middle school… Countless questions of “Why did you become a vegetarian?”; “Don’t you ever want to eat meat?”; “Do you want everyone to be vegetarian?”; “Where do you get your vitamins from?” Being told over and over again “That’s unhealthy!”; “You need meat!”; “That’s why you’re so pale!”; “But you’re eating the animal’s food!” I also repeatedly got called a vegan as if that was an insult, and once someone threw a piece of salami at me.

For a long time, I also was “the skinny girl”. I was just skinny, but I kept getting asked why, and being told to eat, and being asked hlw I could be so skinny when I ate so much. I remember a popular girl asking what my pant size was.

And now we have identity labels. As in, gender identity and sexuality. These are connected to a lot of stereotypes too. For example that asexuals are like underdeveloped kids or plants.

These labels, we choose ourselves for a great part. But we have to be careful not to force ourselves into a box connected to that label. For example, when identifying as nonbinary, remember that there is more than androgynus white afab nb people. There can be a need felt to “fulfil” that label, but there isn’t.

Labels put a lot of pressure on us, both by society and ourselfs. But they can also be helpful, if you don’t take them neccessarily fixed and more like a loose description of what something is like.


Goolie feat. Ayonna - All out of love!!!!!!!
#music #musicbiz #labels #biphop #unsignedhype #unsignedartist#unsignedheat#unsiqnedtal #hiphop #newmusic #rap #show #VOG (at Carlisle, Pennsylvania)

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anonymous asked:

I've been having something like bottom dysphoria since I was a child but I ignored it back then, but oddly it seems to have gotten worse over time. I began to identify as lesbian but now I'm not even quite sure whether I'm a girl or not. Any ways I could come to terms with this?

I left this hanging because I am not a lesbian and I was waiting for someone with that experience to respond, but since it’s been sitting around for a while, here I am.

Relationships between dfab nonbinary and transgender people who love women and lesbians have been complex for all of lgbtq+ history. You can accept and embrace that you identified as a lesbian, and found community there, even as you move forward. You do not have to renounce your past lesbian identity because it no longer fits. And while I am unwilling as a non-lesbian to provide hard and fast definitions of who does and does not get to call themselves a lesbian, there are a lot of nonbinary people who are accepted by other lesbians and maintain their own lesbian identity.

My advice for coming to terms with your gender identity and dysphoria is always to give yourself space to feel it out and try different things, and to not feel like you need to rush and come up with one solid permanent answer immediately.


My writing took me here...

For quite a while I’ve been thinking about an interesting topic to write on, however, I couldn’t come up with anything worthwhile. As my last resort I read a few articles on the internet about overcoming a writer’s block and most of them advised on just starting to write.

So here I am, writing…

I am 20 years old and to be completely honest with you, this is a weird stage of my life; daunting, puzzling, obscure… you get the picture, right. At the same time, happiness is a consistent part, despite all the new responsibilities that come along with growing up. Yet I am completely lost when it comes to the question what am I – an adult? A child? A young adult? It’s a mess so I don’t even want to go there. Funny enough this uneasiness comes hand in hand with the sheer bliss of experiencing life and the roller coaster of emotions which are your 20s.

Jokes aside, but there is so much fun in running errands it is preposterous. Maybe not everyone can relate, but doing the washing, cooking a nice dinner, doing the grocery shopping… all these mundane operations in fact bring me tremendous satisfaction and not to mention a feeling of accomplishment since I have put in the effort to take care of myself and live like a decent human being. I eat my food, put on my nicely folded, freshly washed clothes and I feel on top of my game, on the verge of the adult world…

And here comes the confusion.

What am I? Too old to be child and too young and inexperienced to be an actual adult.

The world we live in is not based on science or some formula which provides answers on every existential dilemma that one is faced with. However, if aliens were observing our behavior from out of space they would probably notice how much we like putting labels on everything. Our sex. Our social status. Our nationality. Our relationship status. The list goes on and on, and honestly, all of this is superfluous.

I am not trying to sound smart, it is my writing that took me here - philosophizing about our world, but as a young person who is trying to figure out life, all these labels do is cause confusion. Because you keep focusing on determining yourself according to the boundaries set and when you don’t fit in a certain category, you feel lost. And being young and lost is a terrible, terrible combination.

Writing this won’t magically change people’s mindsets to throw labels and categories out of the window, unfortunately, it won’t. Yet all I can do is encourage you, my dear reader, to just reflect on starting to think outside the box… or the labels.
Dyslexia Made Henry Winkler Feel 'Stupid' For Years. Now, He's A Best-Selling Author
The Emmy-winning actor is lesser known for his work writing for children. But he calls his book series, about the adventures and struggles of a dyslexic child, his proudest accomplishment.

Reflecting on a life with dyslexia, he says that until relatively recently, “I thought I was stupid … You take that mantle with you when it’s said often enough and when you’re young enough. There is an emotional component, I think, that comes along with learning challenges, where I had no sense of self.”

Winkler, now 73, says he didn’t know he had a learning disability until age 31, when he got his stepson tested and evaluated for dyslexia. “I went ‘Oh my goodness, that’s me,’ Winkler says. "And so at 31, I found out I wasn’t stupid, that I wasn’t lazy — that I had something with a name.”

Winkler says that when his agent first floated the idea of a book about his learning challenges, he didn’t think it would work.

“I said, 'I can’t do that, I’m stupid, I can’t write a book,’ ” Winkler remembers. But when his agent introduced him to writer Oliver, executive director of the Society of Children’s Book Writers and Illustrators, he says, they hatched the idea of Hank Zipzer. “This was just something that I was going to try,” he says.

More than 15 years later, what began as a way for Winkler to fill a lull in his acting career has turned into 29 books.

Winkler says the books are written to account for the many nuances of dyslexia. As he explains, the condition looks different in different people. “Some people, it works on their ability to read and do math, to actually write a sentence. Some people write backwards. When you’re reading, you miss words, they drop off the page or the words start swimming.”

With these challenges in mind, the books contain ample white space on each page, and it’s written in the Dyslexie font, a typeface created by Dutch designer Christian Boer to improve legibility for the dyslexic brain.

On a visit to Pennsylvania, a 20-something working as a hotel bellhop who recognized the author rushed over — not to help Winkler and his wife with their luggage — but to let him know: “I’ve read every one of your Hank Zipzer’s!”

Winkler calls it “one of the greatest compliments, probably ever, in my life.”

anonymous asked:

i struggle a lot with my identity: i cant decide if im bi or a lesbian. if mogai wasnt such a shithole i would be a homoromantic bisexual. the thing is i LOVE women and i WANT to devote my love solely to women but i still consider myself sexually attracted to men. basically i want to fuck men but frankly i would rather die than date a man. i ALWAYS feel bad when i read stories of straight women with their bfs, its something i could never put up with. this is just a vent sorry


So I want to clarify: this blog is mogai accepting, yet at the same time the split attraction model *can be* problematic. Technically they’re different things. It’s bad in that the split attraction model is a bad idea for people who aren’t ace or aro, but specific mogai labels are great for trans / nonbinary people for whom things are complicated and mogai labels are useful to describe their complicated gender and sexuality feelings.


You can identify as a lesbian if you want to. Maybe it’s an unpopular opinion, but if you never want to act on your attraction to men and just want to solely be with other women forever, you can ID as a lesbian imo.

Tbh sexuality is more about what you actually want and what you want to do and act on and who you Want to be with, so feel free to ID as a lesbian if you want. Forget the haters. Feel free to ignore and forget about your sexual attraction to men if you want to

sometimes I feel like a boy, sometimes I don’t

sometimes I think boys are cute, sometimes I thing girls are cute

sometimes I like boys, sometimes I like girls

sometimes I’m attracted to girls, sometimes I’m not

and when I’m attracted to anyone, it’s this weird kind of attraction, and I can never tell how much of it is real

but 100% of the time, I’m very confused

I’ve identified as asexual, and I don’t think it’s totally innacurate, but I don’t know if it’s totally accurate. That makes me scared, purely because its a part of me, and people know it to be.

Deep down, I believe that sexuality is fluid and can change throughout your life, same with gender identity, so I shouldn’t feel uncomfortable with changes in my identity, I should be proud regardless of how my identity takes shape, but I feel this pressure to adhere to what I’ve claimed, to hold on to a label. And when I try to figure out how I really feel.. it’s so difficult to find a label for it, which is probably why I called myself asexual in the first place.


anonymous asked:

can ‘genderqueer’ and ‘non-binary’ be used interchangeably? or is there a distinction between them?

I mean yes, if you want to use them interchangeably or use them as a full identity. The real difference between the two is a “loose term” like the word queer but for gender. Nonbinary is specifically for people who don’t identify with the binary.