I love the conversations we have in The Breakfast Club. You get so many different perspectives on the subjects. How each and everyone of us approaches a topic is different. How each and every one of us does ‘ME’ is different. How we all do D/S is different. And different is GOOD! It is very good! If it works for you then WAY TO GO! This week we had some deep conversations about empowerment and labels. The consensus is that though labels are needed to begin to define who we are and how we identify, they are very limiting. When entering the lifestyle you figure out if you are a ‘top’ or ‘bottom’. Then trying to fit yourself into the preconceived ‘boxes’ of what category. But, many of us don’t fit into one box. There are MANY boxes that we fit into. Some people have been ridiculed and told they cannot be a Daddy and a Master or Sadist. That a Little cannot be a submissive or masochist. This is very disturbing. We all have NEEDS and those needs depend on our headspace at the time. Below is my answer to the labels topic. It shows that we are all complicated and should not be put into a ‘box’ with a single label on it.
Labels…labels…labels… where do I start? Let’s start with the labels I identify with: I am a submissive, little and masochist, bisexual. Other labels in the lifestyle that have been applied to me are babygirl, alpha sub and he calls me cuddle bear and Raven. Labels in general, seem to be needed so that we know who is a dominant and a submissive. However, within the above labels there are SO MANY CONNOTATIONS and MISCONCEPTIONS. When many people see the word Little they see pacifiers, diapers, night time stories and onesies. That isn’t my little. I have LITTLE tendencies. When I am feeling little I was stuffies, cuddling and I will sketch or color in my adult coloring books. I can’t ‘put myself’ into little space. My little space happens organically because of my mindset of the time. Stress, sickness, being tired and overwhelmed cab bring it on. I am a MASOCHIST but that looks different as well. Some assume a masochist thrives on all pain and wants to be bruised and bloodied. I do not. I am not a pain slut. I am exploring pain but not all pain excites me. And though I like to see some bruises I don’t want welts and to be bloodied. I am a babygirl but not a baby. I do not age regress. ALPHA sub, so MANY different meanings to this. First sub in a poly, strong sub, so many meanings. I think the word ALPHA is one of my least favorite labels. The word ALPHA has negative connotations to me, and sometimes I feel people confuse being strong with being a dominant. In my mind ALPHA is a dominant leader and I don’t see that in myself. Cuddle bear is the name I respond to when I am feeling little and Raven is what he calls my masochist.
Labels…yep labels so MANY labels. Good, bad and ugly labels have a place. Labels identify us but after that it is up to each and everyone of us to get to know each other and discover what these labels mean to each of us. We need to not make assumptions when we see the labels.