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“Those who look to him for help will be radiant with ; no shadow of shame will darken their faces.” Psalms 34:5 NLT

When I am among the trees... they give off such hints of gladness. I would almost say that they save me, and daily. —Mary Oliver

Was admiring the colour blending of down to feathers on a fallen feather when a snowflake landed right where I was looking, then disappeared.

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"Now the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, that you may abound in hope, through the power of the Holy Ghost." Roman's 15:13 #

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Kanu, from Xalam band, made at home 99% with guitars ;). Xalam is lit!! #BOneMusic #StickintheWheels #athome #xalam #kanu #homestudio #ableton #music #is #joy #guitars #guitars #and #guitars #bass #lines #senegal #teranga (à Paris, France)

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Let Go, Let God

I let go of fear and embrace love.

Because God’s presence is in all things, everything that happens in my life occurs within divine order. I can let go of worry and fear because I trust the Divine within. If I am afraid, I may find myself in a state of unbelief, wanting to be in control. But when I let go of fear, I let go of stress and tension and can enjoy my life more.

I notice and let go of negative, fearful thoughts then fill that void with God thoughts. I use words of affirmation to assist me in fixing my mind on faith. As I change my mind, I shift away from stress and anxiety and into a state of peace. My entire body relaxes, and I know and trust that all is well. From this place of calm, I respond to life with ease and grace.

For I am convinced that neither death, nor life … will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.-Romans 8:38, 39

Note to self: the devil’s a liar, sis

Reflections on Day #25 of my 100 Days to Self-Discovery:

  1. Intentionality. Somehow, I’m managing to succeed with working full-time, managing a business, and being an “A” student in grad school. My depressive episode two weeks ago tried to come for me looking for weak spots in my already low threshold to take everything down like dominoes. Had to remind my mental health that I am not the one (or the two! I saw this coming from a mile away and, reminded me how low my threshold is and that, if I’m not proactive, in preparation for S.A.D., I started game planning for it back in August with my amazing psychiatrist, EI, and decided to add RS, a therapist, to my care team. Now, on top of my regular 3-month check-ins with EI, I get to sit on this dope person’s couch weekly to just vent and shit. Being allowed to release all the BS out this way feels so relieving. Who would have thunk?!
  2. Healing. After nearly a decade of research in hopes of figuring out my health, my waist is finally down to 29 inches (only 3 inches wider than my smallest size ever!). I have had so many inconclusive bloodwork results and worked with numerous doctors, nutritionists, trainers, acupuncturists, herbalists, and everybody else I could find. No one could tell me why it felt (and continues to feel) like my body is working against me. I still don’t know what’s good, but my flexivegan meal prepping and the intentionality behind how I nourish my body seemed to be the most powerful when it comes to taming my metabolism, stomach, and energy issues. Though the weight wasn’t the main problem and has fluctuated at times, it served as evidence that something was beyond my control. Maybe I’ll share more about that journey some other time.
  3. Peace. I’m learning to let peace guide me. Peace with being authentic, peace with being vulnerable, peace with falling apart sometimes, and peace with having to be put together again. So far it has helped me find compassion and acceptance for myself when I am less than perfect. It pushed me to lighten my load where I can. And, to hold others accountable for the burdens they place on my body and the toll that takes on my spirit. As a black woman, the expectation that I am resilient and strong continues to harm me while giving everyone - especially those who I know love me the most - the impression that I can do it all (“Okay, Google. What is Black Superwoman Syndrome?”). Meanwhile, my soul is barely hanging on to survive, not even for myself, but for y’all.
  4. Joy & Gratitude. For a while now, I have tried to ruminate on at least 3 things I’m grateful for each day. Today one of them is that I am closer to summer 2019 than I was yesterday. It’s like tricking my mind into finding joy in the bleakest moments. It’s by no means a cure-all, but at this time last year, I had just quit my job with no backup plan and more bills/debts than I could account for. Everything since has been leaps of faith and I continue to land on my feet. So, instead of waiting for that elusive moment where everything suddenly falls into place, I’m just gonna keep manifesting this joie de vivre.

Simply euphoric;

I’m writing this here because I’m not sure where else to write this. I’m not sure if it’s the alcohol or the atmosphere or both but I’m currently laying in one of best friends bed surrounded by friends, half asleep, chatting trash and sharing our deepest secrets (12 year old me would be proud), but I’m just overcome with a sense of completion. It’s like I finished school (technically today) and I finished it with one of the people I started it with and I’m just completely overcome with a wave of euphoria (even though she’s snoring like a dying pig) I feel so complete, so happy, simply euphoric


The Mustard Seed #

smtown <SMTOWN CULTURE DAY> 영화 ‘보헤미안 랩소디’로 하나된 SMTOWN! SMTOWN is here for the movie ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’ on <SMTOWN CULTURE DAY>

#SMTOWN #SMTOWNCULTUREDAY #SMEntertainment #CultureDay #SMmakesIT #MAKEsIT #이동우 #LeeDongWoo @leedongwoo_smtown #루나 #LUNA #fx #에프엑스 @fx.official #레드벨벳 #RedVelvet @redvelvet.smtown #NCT @nct #도영 #DOYOUNG #텐 #TEN #해찬 #HAECHAN #정우 #JUNGWOO


I printed out my portfolio and some postcards.

#art #bed #postcardstovoters #postcard #adventure #printout #ctn #ctnexpo #backgrounddesign #conceptart #portfolio #fun #joy #printout #paper #color #illustration #believe #dream #faith #herewego

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