Posts on Twitter:

What's in common between a sprinkler and the answer i got if she wanted anal? Tsk tsk tsk tsk

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My today is of a jelly dessert on a bed of mandarin oranges. In the shape of a rabbit. A china rabbit Mother always used when I was a child HA 📷 nicole bourcier

Spotyka się dwóch biznesmenów: - Zauważyłem, że w twojej firmie wszyscy przychodzą do pracy bardzo wcześnie. Jak ty to robisz? - Prosty trik! Mam 20 pracowników i 15 miejsc parkingowych.

Dans ce cas là, soit j'ai la flemme et tant pis. Soit je me lève et j'insulte ma porte, mon vase, mes clés, tout en marchant. Des bisous. 👽

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: Un seul mot d'ordre : la ! 😅 Avez-vous avez déjà été face à ce genre de situation ?

ボケ炙りが足りませんね。 ボケをあぶって、さすりなでたらコムラガエリに効くそうですが、さすりはマッサージで効くそうですが、ボケ続けることに耐えられなかった人が花言葉よろしくツッコミするそうです。 cf. 「転筋の病には木瓜あぶりて、さすりなづれば愈ゆ」 『雑談集(1305)一〇

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What’s green, has four legs, and would kill you if it fell from a tree? A pool table. 😼😼

Replying to and

That escalated quickly... Reality is that it can be made to not escalate... with . Violence Breeds Violence...

I am woman, hear me say the opposite of what i mean in that tone that means you'd better do what i meant and not what i said.

has a great call back service where they call you back when you are next in line so you don't have to wait on hold.....and when they call you back they make you wait on hold for 30 minutes apparently as the next person in line

Posts on Tumblr:

You know why The Beatles called themselves the Beatles?

Because they liked the name.

A long time ago I read this joke I found so good I wrote it down. I found this note today

Disclaimer: This joke involves gender-based humour and don’t actually reflect the my viewpoint about either gender.

So there was this billionare, very sucessful enterpreneur, that decided to invest a large chunk of his funds in a new business: The Husband Shop

The Husband Shop is a 6-floor building, each containing an assortment of husbands bearing more or less the same characteristics, however the next floor has a costier but better selection.

So, this Lady goes to visit the shop and she sees this at the first floor: “At The Husband Shop we strive to present to you the very best in man. This Floor has 100% loyal men”.

Quite pleased with what she sees, she goes to the next one and it says: “This Floor 100% loyal men and they are very handsome!”.

She investigates further, and on the third floor she sees: “This floor has 100% loyal men, and they are handsome and romantic!”

On the fourth floor she finds: “This floor has 100% loyal men, which are also very handsome, romantic and great with kids!”

The fifth floor had the following: “This floor has 100% loyal men, all of them are very handsome, romantic, great with kids and they’ll rock your world in the bed every time!”

She was absolutely amazed by what they had put together, and she knew they had the best for last, so she found this:

“Congratulations! You are the 4,986,221th visitor this year! Sorry, there are no husbands in this floor. We regret to inform we abandoned "The Husband Shop” development as we realized women were nearly impossible to please".



In order to appeal to both genders (and alleviate the uproar of sexism accusations), the billionare made “The Wife Shop”, and they put a lot more effort this time around.

Since the other business became so famous because of the unusual service, a reporter did some digging, and he came back with this:

“Upon arriving ‘The Wife Shop’, or TWS, the costumer is immediatly greeted by an employee that will explain the concept of the business and will acompany Him or Her through the floors, in the same method they used on The Husband Shop.

The First Floor says: Welcome to The Wife Shop! We keep our promise to strive for excellency, but this time it’s all about finding you your perfect wife! This floor has the most gourgeous women you’ll ever find.

The second floor says: "This floor has absolutely gorgeous women and they are all incredible in the bedroom.

The 4 remaining floors are yet to be visited”.

submitted by /u/Zulrambe
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If my blog was an as seen on TV commercial

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