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Girl in a Cage *Trigger Warning*

Girl in a Cage

I lay there with my arms crossed over the perfectly white crisp sheet and with the blank stare in my eyes thinking I’m on on my death bed looking at the chaplain who came to read me my last rights. The curtains were drawn, the room was dark and the man sitting in the simple chair across from me with the serious look on his face appeared to be wearing some black outfit with the white collar. At least that’s what I saw in my mind. It turned out I was still in the psychiatric hospital where I had spent last four days suicidal and it was the weekend, so the person sitting in the chair was just another doctor covering for my doctor. He gave me a regular speech. Since I wasn’t improving, he offered to raise my current antidepressant medications, which I already believed nearly killed me as my heart was pounding million beats per minute. When I realized what was happening, even in this grave condition, I refused the medicine, turned over in bed to my side and went back to sleep, the only refuge I have known.

Luckily, the hospital staff left me alone that day, which I found out later was highly unusual. When I finally woke up, the night had already fell on the city. The night covered the hospital, too. Even though the time felt like it stood still while locked up in a basement of a building, days and nights still went by. World outside was still turning around while I felt like I was trapped in a black hole and there was no way out. I slowly opened the door of my room only to find a beautiful pot of African Violets with the note from my fellow patients. All patients here were suicidal, just like me, but somehow found the strength and compassion in their hearts to lift another suffering soul. I think at that point I decided there was some good still left in this world, that I’m going to fight and that I’m going to live.

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