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Isabelle: I found a valve marked “Danger, do not turn.”

Alec: You didn’t turn it, did you?

Isabelle: Of course I did!

64 notes
  • Alec: *exists*
  • Magnus: i see it, i like it, i want it, i got it
  • Magnus: Does this outfit make me look short?
  • Alec: No.
  • Alec: Standing next to me makes you look short.
  • *Over the phone*
  • Alec: Come home!
  • Magnus: I'm meeting a client.
  • Alec: Guess I'll just lay in our bed
  • Alec: All by myself
  • Alec: No one to cuddle with
  • Alec: Alone and cold
  • Magnus: Oh shut up. I'm opening up a portal!
  • Alec: I love you!

Jace: [To himself] Everything is going to be fine. It’s just a crush.

Simon: Hi.

Jace: I love you.

Isabelle: I just buried my father yesterday.

Isabelle: He’s gonna be so mad when he wakes up.

Jace: [Is fighting]

Jace, voiceover: Look at me. Even in the heat of battle, I’m so elegant, regal. I am Ajax, mighty Greek warrior.

Alec: Where’s my fucking bow and arrow?

Magnus: Alexander, there are kids around. Could you say it nicer?

Alec: Many apologies.

Alec: May I ascertain the whereabouts of my fucking bow and arrow?

Alec: One a scale from one to ten, you’re a nine because I’m the only one you need.

Magnus: I’m a ten!

Alec: No, Magnus it’s a pick up li-

Magnus: I’m. A. Ten.

  • Raphael: I'd date you.
  • Simon: What?
  • Raphael: I️ said I️ hate you.

Clary: If you took a shot for everytime you’ve made a bad decision, how drunk would you be?

Simon: Maybe a bit tipsy.

Alec: Drunk.

Isabelle: Wasted.

Jace: Dead.

Alec: Basically, there’s three ways to do things: the right way, the wrong way, and the Jace way.

Clary: Isn’t that just the wrong way?

Jace: Yes, but faster.

  • <p> <b>Cristina:</b> Which state do you live in?<p/><b>Kit:</b> Constant anxiety.<p/><b>Ty:</b> Denial.<p/><b>Emma:</b> Perfection.<p/><b>Mark:</b> …Los Angeles?<p/></p>
  • Magnus: Alexander, how drunk was I last night?
  • Alec:
  • Izzy: Don't ask him! You were BOTH so drunk that you reenacted the whole Dirty Dancing movie in the middle of the bar.
  • Magnus: ... Were we good?

Jace: Alec gave me a get better soon card.

Isabelle: That’s sweet!

Jace: I wasn’t sick, he just thought I could do better.

  • Izzy: I saw a really hot guy outside today.
  • Alec: That's weird. Magnus has been here with me all day.
  • Izzy: Magnus isn't the only hot guy around, Alec.
  • Alec: Sounds fake but okay.
  • Magnus: We need to draw a pentagram.
  • Alec: A circle with a star inside of it?
  • Magnus: Yes.
  • Alec, draws a circle: Okay. Get into the circle, Magnus.
  • Magnus: Aw, Alexander...
  • Izzy: Stop flirting! We're trying to summon a demon!
  • Clary: Maia has such a good heart
  • Simon: Yeah I noticed you were staring at her "good heart"

Mark: Are you okay?

Julian: Yeah, I’m fine.

Mark: What does “fine” mean?

Julian: It means I’m perfectly content but also wouldn’t mind if the sun exploded right now and killed us all.

Jace: Hey, do you think I could fit fifteen marshmallows into my mouth?

Alec: You are a menace to society.

Magnus: And a coward. Do twenty.