Posts on Twitter:

Posts on Tumblr:

  • Grayson: I married my wife. I love saying “my wife”, it sounds so adult. “That’s my wife.”
  • Grayson, turning to y/n: It’s great, you sound like a person.
16 notes

You: Hey, Dolan, I need you.

Dolan: For?

You: Ever.

  • Ethan: That’s blackmail. We could get into a lot of trouble for that…
  • Grayson: Blackmail’s such an ugly word… I prefer “extortion”. The “x” makes it sound cool.

*Pretends to be shocked*

  • Ethan: I promised Y/n we wouldn’t do anything stupid!
  • Grayson: Why would you lie to your fiancé like that?!

You, joking: Is that your inhaler in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?

Grayson: *puts his hands in his pockets so you can’t see his boner*

You: *noticing his inhaler on the table* Wait…

  • Grayson: Ethan ate my slice of cake?! That is a hate crime!
  • Y/n: How is that a hate crime?
  • Grayson: Because I hate him!

Grayson: I don’t think you should drink anymore coffee.

Ethan: Coffee cures depression.

Grayson: I don’t think it works that way…

Ethan: More espresso, less depresso.

  • Ethan: Here's what I know about women: they confuse and terrify me.

Grayson: If I had a cent for every time I got called ugly…

Grayson: I would have 0 cents… ah bitch you thought!!!


*self reflecting intensifies*

Ethan: Hey how much money do you have?

Grayson: Uh like 69 cents.

Ethan: Oh you know what that means!

Grayson, sobbing: I don’t have enough money for chicken nuggets.


Big Mood.


I have a folder dedicated to Dolan Twins Memes. I just can’t think of any captions. Help me out.

There’s always that one dumb friend

Alec: crap i think i’ve lost my phone, can you call it?

Jace: sure!

Jace, cupping his hands around his mouth: alec’s phone? ALEC’S PHONE???

Ethan: Truth or dare?

You, exasperated: Truth.

Ethan: Do you want to kiss me?

You: Dare.

Ethan: *leans in* I dare you to kiss me.

You: Never have I ever-

Ethan: ThAt’s NOt ThE gAme!

idc if this is a dead meme, i’m bringing it back

  • Emma: Truth is, I only know of one truly platonic relationship.
  • Grayson: You and me.
  • Emma: Don’t make me laugh, Grayson. You want to hit this so bad.
  • *door opens*
  • Ethan: What are you doing here?
  • Emma: Running away from my problems
  • Ethan: *moves aside* Come on in

Ethan: You are on speaker so behave yourself.

You: Or what? Will you spank me?


You: Oh crap.