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Kay: What’s that?

Cameron: A housewarming gift for Johnny.

Kay: Well, a bunch of fake snakes better not spring out of it, ‘cause that was a lousy anniversary present.

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Mike: This is a disaster! The printer messed up the invitation! It’s supposed to say “Dina’s Birthday!”

Cameron: What does it say instead?

Mike: “Dina’s Bi”.

Cameron: Hey, that could still work.

Kay: Can’t tell you how many teachers I wanted to beat up in Catholic school. Ten.

Jonathan: I didn’t know you went to Catholic school.

Kay: Good. You shouldn’t know it.

Cameron: Iago!

Mystery Woman: I’m surprised you’ve read Othello.

Cameron: What the hell’s Othello? I’m calling you the parrot from Aladdin.

Jonathan: How do you do it?

Mystery Woman: Do what?

Jonathan: Live with yourself, knowing all the bad things you’ve done.

Mystery Woman: Well, you tell yourself you did the right thing. And if you say it often enough, one day you might actually believe it.

Jordan: I can’t take it anymore! How long have we been stuck here?

Dina: Well, let’s see, add one, carry the two, minus the four… twenty-three.

Jordan: Twenty-three days!?

Dina: Minutes! Twenty-three minutes!

Cameron: [Power is out] We don’t need help.

Gunter: You think? I mean, I’m grumpy now. Imagine me in the morning without a coffee maker.

Jordan: Or a computer. Or stop light. TV. DVD. CD. DVR. -

Cameron: Stop saying letters!

Dina: [Points to her chest] I would never trade these for that. [Points to Cameron’s crotch]

Jonathan: Dina!

Cameron: No it’s true. Everyone wants to see those. No one wants to see this.

Jonathan: [About the mystery woman being obsessed with him] Oh my God. There’s no way out… I’m gonna have to marry her.

Cameron: No, we’re gonna get you out of this.

Mike: Okay how about… “It’s not you, it’s me”?

Jordan: No no no, six words. “You. Look. Fat. In. Those. Jeans.” You’re free to go.

Cameron: I made an appointment to get a checkup.

Kay: And you want me to come with you because you’re a little scared?

Cameron: What? No!

Kay: Because you’re a lot scared?

Cameron: Yes!

Gunter: Stupid ketchup.

Dina: …What?

Gunter: What what?

Dina: I was gonna let it slide but I’m curious… how is ketchup stupid?

Gunter: It’s spelt wrong! “Catsup”. [Scoffs] Hell of a way to run a railroad.

Mike: You can spell it that way. It’s an option.

Gunter: It’s a wrong option.

Mike: Ketchup with a “K” or “Catsup” is a legitimate option.

Gunter: Who says “Catsup”?

Dina: Who argues with condiments?

Has this been done?

Jonathan: Oh, Cameron… If only there was someone who loved you.

Dina: Why is Cameron carrying a package of flour?

Jonathan: He and Kay are thinking of having a baby and he heard that taking care of a bag of flour was good practice

Mike: And how’s it going?

Cameron: Last night I dreamt my flour sack was abducted and the kidnappers started sending me muffins in the mail.

A Bundle of Secrets Quote #6

Cameron: You are grounded for… ‘til. college.

Farrah: For ‘til collage?!

Cameron: For ‘til collage!

[Kay comes in with a sphynx cat she found on a case]

Kay: Check it out!

Cameron: What… what is-?

Jordan: What… What the hell is that?

Kay: It… It’s a cat.

Jordan: That is not a cat.

Kay: Yes, it is.

Cameron: Why is it inside out?