All I have are my feelings! and I chose to let myself go numb so that I could survive. I closed it up in a box with the dead (both people and dreams) and now I don’t know who I goddamned am anymore.
I try to be nice. I try to be nice and I’m very nice. I’m too nice. “You’re too nice” they say, and I hate myself for it. This isn’t who I am. I’m not that nice girl, Sarah. That’s not ME! That’s the watered down, version of me that would result if you took a quiz and you kept choosing to say “Sorry!” in response to every question.
I am not nice. I am NOT NICE! I am a loner who learned how to socialize. I let myself become normal, and being “nice” has got me “friends” who are really good people who I don’t deserve and don’t know who I am. I am weird, and I am meant to be alone. I am not meant to be with good, stable people.