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I don't need YOU to see the changes I've made in my body, I need to see the changes in my body... self made mantra πŸ§˜β€β™€οΈ




I’m so tired I’m not sure whether I want to scream or burst into tears. This is usually my I’d head the cupboard and eat EVERYTHING!? I’m determined to stick to plan with a filling







Learning of how was created has inspired me to move out of my comfort zone in my image design! Still getting used to and how the software works.




A beautiful warm sunny day has planted that seed of doubt but if I dont change anything nothing will change




Home workout and a run, and look- thigh gap! Haha, not really!! But I am slowly getting back on track. Had care for my daughter today so actually able to exercise! Top from the 9-15 section Benefits of being a short arse! xx




Add some color to your Saturday afternoon by joining our Coffee & Canvas event. Painting will begin @ 12PM ends @ 3PM. We will provide coffee, a relaxing new atmosphere, paint & canvas.




Nothing is more thrilling than progress. I decided I wanted to write a book this year, and well, 7 chapters in and still going strong.



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I’m definitely planning on going for a tomorrow πŸ˜ƒ It’s 5 weeks since my Windpipe Operation 😳 Super Excited to test out my breathing, but my strength & fitness will be absolute bobbins after barely moving in months πŸ˜©πŸƒπŸ»β€β™€οΈ πŸ‘‹




Challenge your self every single day. it’s gonna be awhile before I get the results I want but I’m happy that at least I’m pushing myself harder right now



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Trying to *sound* confident, while feeling completely *not* confident, is a very interesting place to be.




I’m pleased and can breathe a sigh of relief...1.5lbs off. Now up to 2st 10lbs off. So pleased it’s that it’s moving downwards again...and that it’s continuing to go in the right direction πŸ˜ŠπŸ™ŒπŸΌ













I’m hoping I can be feeling like this tomorrow evening after weigh in. Keeping my extra large positive pants on until then πŸ˜ŠπŸ‘πŸΌ






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Woo! 1,649. The cream is my side which i started off with 0HS and the blue is my main and I started off with 20HS. I want each of them to get to 1200. Main account will focused on Yohimbe Barks and side account will be focused on buffies.

Rest day, but no rest for me

Today started out with a bang. Got into an argument with someone I work with about what “up to” means. Same person that argued with me over the definition of ‘one per customer’. UGH!

But today is cardio rest day. I’m grocery shopping on my lunch break. The fun never ends.

Even though today is cardio rest, I am going to do some stretching and movement exercises. Nothing strenuous, but enough so I feel like I am doing something. 

IF is going ok. I was hungry when I came home last night. Didn’t snack or eat. I was starving when I woke up. Still haven’t eaten. I have 20 minutes left on my 17 hour fast. First thing will be a handful of almonds, and a bowl of blueberry oatmeal. And I can’t wait for it! 6 minutes left!

Other than that, work job #2 tonight and tomorrow. Snow is expected this weekend. And I am looking forward to a new hair cut on Saturday!

Getting back to me

I’m trying to get back to me. Sounds silly, being as old as I am. But at 43 I feel more lost than when I was in my 20′s. At least in my 20′s, I had an excuse. I was widowed. I was allowed to be as messy and mindless as I was. I’m in my 40′s now, what is my excuse?

Besides depression and injuries, I don’t know what my excuse is. Why I stopped caring, why I stopped being me. I am lucky now to be married to a man that accepts me as I am, lumps and flaws and hairy legs. But I am wanting more. I am needing more. I want to get back to me.

So this year, I am focusing on self-care. I work two jobs, I have three kids, one is homeschooled due to autism, and one is in the Navy (currently deployed) I have two dogs, two cats, two cars and one mortgage. I have infinite excuses as to why I can’t take care of myself. 

So, this is my journey. All 182 pounds of me. My goal is 142.

The first step is the hardest, but I can do this. I’ve done my meal prep for the week. I have my workouts figured out. Once I am down 20 pounds, I am going to add in weights. I am drinking 100 oz water a day, and cutting out refined sugars. I have a massive sweet tooth, so it will be a bit harder to get that done. 

But I deserve this. I am ready for this. 

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#blackhistorymonth “Rant” Just speaking my truth.
LISTEN UP! #truth #fiyahmc #unit1 #scorchiin #letsbuildthisindustry #reggaemusic #reggaeton #reggae #rapmusic #rapper #rapmusic #hiphop #hiphophead #hiphopheads #hiphopmusic #hiphopculture #reggae #reggaeton #reggae #realhiphop #realhiphopmusic @aliciacinnamon @stylzradio @kemistryent @kevinlyttle @drag_on1 @unitonerecording @bramptonist @hopeismusic @reggaeretweet #icandothis #indieartist #independent #independentartist #independentmusic #island360 #torontohiphop #g987fm #stylzradio #music @blackhistory @blackhistorymonth #blackhistory #blacklivesmatter #blackhistorymonthfacts @thebramptonist @globalwarmingent @topcatent @bwoy_shella_tv @wizonvibe1 @hot97 @bramptonsvown @g987fm (at Brampton, Ontario)
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2 random and sweet things: falling star and kaleidoscope. #holdonlittletomato #icandothis #colors #design #stars
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16 inches and a good beat. Letting off steam. #icandothis #vienna #livemusic #trioamacord+
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PUTTING TOGETHER THE @vividskip
MAMA GOTTA DO WHAT MAMA GOTTA DO TO GIT THE JOB DONE
#icandothis
#ilovevividskip
#ilovejumprope
#youcandoit
#dothething
#dothethang
(at Kentucky)
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On Moving On

“Remember, the easier way is not the stronger way.”

So recently, I find myself being thrown out of my equilibrium by the warm and cold treatment I received from him. I will be thinking why is he acting this way? Is this a reflection of his own internal struggle? Should I initiate a conversation? Should I initiate a catch-up session? What will I get out of it?

To be honest, to say I’m completely over him would be a lie. Out of sight, out of mind only works for a limited time only. When he made an appearance again, slowly, slowly it ate me up, especially since I was the dumpee. It’s hard. All I could do is keep up with his inconsistency. If he is warm, so will I be. If he’s cold, well, what else is there for me to do but to react the same way, right? No. That’s just escaping, taking the easy way out.

And so I came across this article which says, “Remind yourself who you are and who you want to be.” Then it occurred to me again, I want to be the one who shows up, I want to be the one who cares, I want to be the stronger one, I don’t want to escape. I want to move on. Be free from this shackle of one-sided love.

I tried before, to move on, I told myself, to say hi to him or smile when we walk past each other. But his demeanor sometimes threw me off. THIS TIME, AZI, don’t let it get to you. Again, remind yourself; Move on by not looking away from all you have cared for in your life, move on by not being afraid of caring more, of being the one who cares the most. Move on by not pretending to have moved on. Take your time. Suppressing sometimes backfires on you. Remember to exude the energy you want to spread. Remind yourself who you are, always. If his response is lackluster, so be it. Be brave. You know who you are. Be tender.   


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This whole pregnancy journey has been tough. From work issues, to personal issues, to family problems. Ive been a trooper and so is my baby! Trying to get through every struggle and staying positive. Trying to take whatever struggles, pain and critism. Iam trying to stay strong baby. I hope you are too! Please bare with me. We can do this. I hope you are still moving around in there my love. Mommy loves you very much! We will be okay.

I’ve come to realize that life hands you this story, you first need to be sheltered, then you face adversity, then you love until your heart stops beating. I guess that’s the best case scenario.

But even if your story doesn’t seem like that,don’t let your fear rule you. You’re not your fear. If I cut off your leg you’d still be you.

We’re all going through varying stages of different levels of shit. So fear, but remember you can get through anything and everything! ❤️

Getting by on 20 hours a week as a student is really becoming increasingly difficult, stress levels are high. How will I do this? I know I can do this, I’m sure one way or another, I will get by. I need to believe in myself & whatever it is the universe has planned for me - I know there’s a plan, I just don’t know what it is yet.

Progress

I started following the 30 day Yoga with Adriene. I feel like I can actually make a change in my life. I’m not so angry as I used to be.

I also finished reading what I needed to read for two of my upcoming exams.

Now I’m realxing a little bit.

This afternoon I’ll begin to sum up what I need to memorize for my ccomputer programming exam.

This evening I’ll try to summarize other notions I have to know for my literature exam.

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all ah dis #icandothis #shouldstartpracticing #loveagoodchairroutine #neyo #mirror
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Definitely #icandothis @marshmellomusic this is very great you inspired this kids lol 😂 #Edmworld #edmproducers #edmpromotions #edmdjs #marshmello #vegas #california #sf #neveda #la #losangeles #losangelsedmscen #halloweencostume (at Oakland, California)
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Slow muscle up + pull over ••• Explode your limits. Discover what you’re made of. Get ripped. Learn to defy gravity. Link in bio. Not for those who are committed to being ‘average’.

#fitnessmotivation #fitnessinspiration #calisthenicsmotivation #icandothis #unstoppable #beunstoppable #playgroundtraining #playgroundworkout #bodyweighttraining #bodyweightworkout #bodyweightworkouts #bodyweightfitness #pushyourlimits #motivation #functionaltraining #reclaimyourpower #fitnessover40 #slowmuscleup
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