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DEAR FATHER HELP THE FROM CAROLBISKNER,,,STAND ON HER AND GIVE HER ALL ,, THE WHOLE YOUR HELP , HOLD YOUR HANDS OVER HER ,, HEAL HIM FROM ALL AND YOU WITH YOUR IN GODS NAMEN AMEN 🙏




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Sometimes

🌴 Sometimes you need to cry but no tears will flow, sometimes you can be married and still be lonely, sometimes the candle will burn out before the night is over, sometimes the moonlight will decant poetry on the eucalyptus leaves, sometimes the desert will call you its home, sometimes the perfume of orange blossoms will remind you of yesterday, sometimes the book that you need will appear at the time that you need it, sometimes you won’t hear the violin music, but you will know the violinist, sometimes you will call the desert your home, sometimes dancing won’t help you forget, sometimes the songs won’t help you remember, sometimes the wind will blow away the withered blossoms, sometimes the blossoms will abscond with your sorrows, sometimes an old friend will make you smile, sometimes a new friend will bring you luck, sometimes you will count your blessings, sometimes you will innumerate your losses, sometimes, the lyrics will have the answer, sometimes the music will open doors, sometimes the melodies will deliver the unseen, sometimes the night will brings wonders, sometimes the stars will play games, sometimes the waves will accompany jinns, sometimes the dusts of tomorrow will haunt the present hours, sometimes the palm fronds will sway with you, sometimes the Persian carpet will carry you to paradise, sometimes you will learn to let go, sometimes you will struggle to hold on, sometimes the tears will come as words, sometimes the words will come as a song, sometimes the song will appear as a dance, sometimes we will cross into other heavens, sometimes we may awaken in dreams, sometimes when we are blinded, we learn to see, sometimes when we are cut, we learn to heal, sometimes when we pray, we become one, sometimes when we curse, the hex lingers, sometimes when we lie, our eyes reveal the truth, sometimes when we gaze at the crescent moon, we shimmer, sometimes we need silver more than gold, sometimes the spell is more potent than the magic, sometimes the alchemy nestles within the chaos, sometimes the boundaries may be shifted, sometimes the journey brings us back where we began, sometimes the centuries tryst with the shadows, sometimes the decades run away with the ethers, sometimes infinities may be composed, sometimes theories arrive as a drifting leaf, sometimes our hands will confess what our heart keeps secret, sometimes the mysteries clothe the years with honey, sometimes the anticipation is better than the event, sometimes the facts are as misty as the sky, sometimes the truth is as delicate as a spiders web, sometimes the messages are unreturned, sometimes the heart will untether, sometimes our today’s turn into wildflowers, sometimes the wildflowers turn into dust, sometimes the silence is stronger than the words, sometimes the shared laughter is a balm, sometimes our fears show us what we love, sometimes what we love bears witness to our soul, sometimes we don’t need the tears, sometimes we need to take a chance, sometimes we can’t risk too much, sometimes we are nearer to death, but, sometimes, we should choose to be closer to ecstasy. 🌵

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i love healing. i love love love the fact that i am infinetely better than i was a year ago. i love that i don’t have to take meds anymore, because i am someone that was helped by them but in the end i didn’t need them anymore. i love that my anxiety and my depression are still with me but are smaller and smaller, and i hope one day i can lock them in a box somewhere- not forgotten, just contained. i love that in the moments where my thoughts sprint ahead of me and begin to spin in circles around me, i can remind myself that i am okay, that i have been through worse. i love that those moments come so rarely now, and they once plagued every waking hour. i love healed skin, and brushed teeth in the morning, and being less angry all the time. i love that i have come so far. and the best thing is that i am never going to not be healing. and i might have said that sadly a few months ago, but now i know that healing feels good, that one day i might not just love healing but i might love myself, too. and i want to be there. and i’m willing to work for it, willing to run for it, because if anything is worth it, this is. 

It’s Been A While
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I just want to express the indescribable feeling of looking back to the old love letters and poetic writings that I once created years back. They were mostly written in 2016 during a dark time in my life. It’s nostalgic on a different level because I am reading it again it 2020. I could definitely attest though, that four years ago, I would not have imagined that my life would turn out beautifully as it is right now.

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I guess when your heart breaks the first time

Even when it doesn’t send you a notification

I guess it finds ways to protect itself

Even when you are willing to act like it’s been on silence

I guess it figures out ways to shield itself

Even when you’re willing to drag it through broken glass-I mean broken words..

I guess it figures out ways to bring you back to God

Even when you’re convinced that it is just a test- of your faith in love- your faith in God

I guess it figures out ways to summon the universe, to switch up your plans

Even when it only seems like visa complications

I guess it figures out ways to reach you

Even when it feels like a lonely night

It got you..

Your heart got you..

He got you…

God got you…

🌹

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“ Your daughter will never walk again”

Were the words we heard June 8, 2016

Now, I could have listened to the doctors, gone home and except those words and learn how to live like this forever

Or

Say NO WAY, this isn’t how our story is going to end! Don’t believe them and keep searching for options
.
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Obviously we chose the 2nd option and never gave up. Taylor was paralyzed from the chest down. Can you imagine if I listened to the doctors and didn’t keep searching for answers or miracles out there?

I am so grateful we found Ken Bryant

To all of the parents out there please follow your gut instinct and know there are miracles happening daily and you can be one of them.

NEVER GIVE YOUR POWER AWAY (even to doctors)

#Taylorstrong #spinalcordinjury #miracles #healers #healing #nevergiveup #Unstoppable (at Grayslake, Illinois)
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My baby’s always gotta be this close to me. I remember wanting to be close to my mom or my sister all day, every day.


I need to grow up and grow myself and grow my business; so I can give this kid the life that he deserves. I never could have imagined being more in love with my baby.

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Healing. Is a bitch.

Ive been well. Last night or this morning (i cant recall it was a tough night and morning) i saw something that made me feel like it was a lie.

I felt like i wasnt okay and that it was all an illusion. It felt like shit. It felt like i wasnt okay…seeing that..ahhh.

But thats okay. Because it wasnt an illusion. I am okay. And to be quite honest, the last time i was this fucken happy, was when i was in highschool. Its been a while. Its been a minute.

Yes, healing is a bitch and it takes time. Sometimes it feels false and like its just an illusion. But thats not true. You are okay. You are healing. Everyday is getting as better and you make it out to be.

Everyone heals at their own pace and it looks different for everyone.

For me?

It was ugly in the beginning, it was isolation and anger. Now? Now its calm.

Now?

I can breathe.

Healing. You bitch.

one day at a time

I’m trying to take things slow with myself. Everything is a process. Healing, life, goals. I always try to rush through everything. It exhausts me. I’m doing things that I find joy in right now, trying to find the fun in life again.
Up until now I’ve been focused on trying to survive. Constantly in survival mode due to my childhood. And now that I don’t have to be in survival mode anymore, I don’t know what to do with myself. Enjoy life? How am I supposed to do that when I’m now at an age where I’m supposed to figure everything out. What I want to do, who I want to be. What is my purpose? Why did I go through everything I went through? Just to sit around and relax? Doesn’t seem right.
Then again, that could also be my brain telling me that life isn’t supposed to be enjoyable, because it hasn’t been up until this point. my brain likes to do that to me sometimes. 
I’m a fighter. My therapist told me, in fight or flight situations, I choose fight. I always choose fight, I don’t always know when to back down. When to give up. I’m working on that too. But what am I fighting for?
Abused children? Children in adoption agencies? Children stuck in sex trafficking? Children in general. It’s the only thing I can think of. I went through almost every bad thing imaginable a kid could have gone through. And now that I’m out of those years, everything just becomes calm? And I have to just be able to RELAX? To act like nothing happened? Seems like a crock of bullshit to me. Eh. But who knows. Maybe one day I’ll figure it out. And if not, at least I can say I tried. And I got through it. Maybe it can inspire someone. Maybe not. Maybe I’m just supposed to be existing with as much joy as possible. 

This is really me just trying to figure things out. I think a lot of people go through/are going through this. It’s normal. I’ve kinda learned to expect the unexpected at this point. Who knows what the future holds. All I can do is live in the present, because that’s really all we have. 

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Originally posted by ikimonoo

✨ It’s okay if you’re not where you wanna be right now

✨ It’s okay if you’re constantly feeling like a fuck up

✨ It’s okay if things just aren’t okay.

Feel this moment… What is your heart telling you? I can’t speak for your heart, but I’m telling you that you are wonderful, amazing, intelligent, loving, important, caring, valuable, and needed in this world. Show up as you are. 

Feelin like a mess? Okay, that’s where you’re at today. That’s okay. Be messy. You’re growing. It’s not a clean process. It’s ugly, it’s vindictive, it’s angry, it’s sticky and gets on other people… Growth isn’t glamorous, but it’s beautiful in it’s own way. Own that mess. It is yours to create with. 

Everyday revolutionary

Cold sweat fevers

Resting anxiety-face

Forgive them for not giving a shit right now

Studs and lace

Living slow motion

Life’s too fast-paced

No resting heart rate

No rest to date

Sips tea with brandy

Plants a garden with Brandy C.

Says planting bombs is part of practice

A healthy anarchy

Like Langston Hughes knew

Parting from the norm is so sweet

Sorrow is sorry

Tomorrow is waiting

Defeatism spells defeat

But we’ve got to let some wounds scab over

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How does the energy feel in your home? If it’s drab, down, or negative you can change it. Start by turning in some music, clean the area well, sweep or vacuum, and clear out any clutter. Open windows and doors and let the sun and fresh air in. If you sage I suggest lighting it and clearing the energy from the room.

Happiness is intentional and you have to create it daily. Ask yourself how many times do I laugh, smile, or dance. Then do it more!

If you need any sage visit my store Apothecarybymariza.com

#awakening #sage #happy #vibes #dance #gypsy #healing #love #instagood #instagram (at Las Vegas, Nevada)
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Day 19. Balance. | I got on the mat. My intention wavering, if existent at all. But I made it. I showed up. I’ve tipped over to habits I genuinely thought I had let go for good. I relapsed during the winter holidays. But we’re still here. There is still moments of clarity. There are still moments - glimmers of hope. 

“Balance is our natural state…  we are not trying to achieve balance,But rather return to it. The path to balance isn’t always in the “doing.” It can be about the undoing. Both require listening. …don’t let [what’s coming] intimidate you. Instead, acknowledge what it took you to get here. Look how far we have come. Stay consistent with your practice. Stay true to your commitment.” 

01.21.20

Poem for a Broken Heart
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Beloved heart
Allow the grief to break through
Let it flood all of your rooms and passageways
Give it time to clear away the past
That’s been held onto for so long

You are loved
You are loved
You are loved

Let all the painful memories float to the surface
Surrender them to this mysterious deluge
You have done nothing wrong
You are as innocent as a newborn fawn   

Allow the discomfort to surge through the body
Be ever so gentle with this gift of flesh and bone
It’s learning a new way of being in the world
For even in all this misery and pain

You are loved
You are loved
You are loved