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Dear Lord Human Shrek Hefner, Duke of Bayview, ( @dacrekaydmont )

First, I’d like to say that we were right: this nickname is way too long. Writing it down takes forever. That’s probably why I don’t use it as much as I use the short version, aka ‘Lord Dacre’. 

Now that this comment has been made… Happy birthday! I wish I could make jokes about your age but I can’t so, instead, I’m going to offer you a peaceful day. I won’t call you Shrek today, I won’t make too much fun of the things you say and I won’t giggle if your words sound dirty. Or at least, I’m going to try. I can’t make any promise because, well, you know me now, you know I can’t resist when it comes to tease you. And if I’m being honest, I love bugging you. I’m aware that I might be annoying sometimes but I like the fact that, somehow, we always end up laughing. It is so easy to have a great time with you and so easy to be me. So thank you, for letting me be myself and letting me whisper Shrek’s lines. Thank you for feeding me, too. In other words, don’t be surprised if I end up writing a tweet saying “Dacre Montgomery could wake me up at 6 to annoy me and I would still be in fond of him”. I might join your Twitter fans club soon.

Anyway, here I am, being talkative and bubbly once more. Let’s go back to your birthday. I hope you are going to have a wonderful time because you deserve it, especially since you’ve been tortured for almost a week. So in order to make this day even better, here’s some presents! One of the first things we’ve talked about was Queer Eye and Antoni’s recipes. I’m still waiting for Netflix to create a season with special guests so I could watch you and Bobby create some magic together. In the meantime, I guess you can cook and practice for the future episodes! The travel mug looks quite simple but if you look closer, you’ll see that the words come from Shrek’s script. Sorry not sorry, I had to include Shrek in this. Isn’t it a great merch though? Now you can go work on various projects (and rock it) with your coffee and learn the lines during breaks. Please, learn them by heart so you could join me next time we watch Shrek and I start telling the lines before Donkey does. I guess I don’t need to explain the muffins? Your love for chocolate needs to be satisfied and it was fun to be the one who bakes for once. As for the robe… if you want to be a good Hugh Hefner, you need a silk one. Pretty sure mine would be too small to fit you so now, you have your own. No need to say that it has to be your outfit for our next movie night.

Alright, I’m gonna shut up now. Happy birthday again, my Lord!

- (your) Kit-Katie.

PS: the top definition on Urban Dictionary for November 22 is ‘best day in the world where the best person was born’ and I thought you’d like to know. Might be the truth. Might.


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I’m trying to find gift basket stuff for my bridesmaids’ Christmas gifts. Surprisingly hard to find a 4 pack of the same thing to distribute.

What would be the weirdest or useful thing to get in a gift basket? So far, I’m ordering butt sheet masks and lip smackers. Can you buy knives in bulk?


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for-witchcraft-and-wizardry  asked:

6 and 25 for the Bookworm Asks? :)

Hey there! Thanks for the questions!

6) What stereotypical “bookish” things do you like or own?

Oh boy. Besides, you know, all the books … where do I even start? When I was young my family and friends realized that literary/bookish gifts were always a safe choice for me—a fact that has never changed—so between gifts and the purchases I make for myself, I’ve acquired quite the collection.

In high school I discovered Out of Print as a freshman (around 2010ish), and immediately bought the Nineteen Eighty-Four Sweatshirt they were selling at the time. It was mint green and borrowed its design from the cover of the first edition. I actually think I might have taken my first-ever Instagram selfie in that sweatshirt. (Out of Print doesn’t have it anymore, but they do sell this one now, and it looks just as comfy!) Shortly afterward I bought a Catch-22 t-shirt from them (I think it was this one) and I got these banned books socks either that year or the following year for Christmas. I also got this banned books pouch, which is perfect for holding various charging cords, and this Edgar Allen Poe pop art shirt. My shirt must have been an earlier version of the same shirt, because it was this grayish brown color instead of the current blue color. People kept asking me if the person on my shirt was John Wilkes Booth. The audacity. (Also, excuse me!? I would never!

In high school I also got this Edgar Allen Poe candle (which smells absolutely amazing), was given this Edgar Allen Poe lunchbox from Powell’s Books as a gift, purchased this scarf featuring the end of A Tale of Two Cities, and got this Thomas Jefferson’s library mug on a trip to Washington DC at the Library of Congress.

Right before heading off to college I got this t-shirt to rep one of my all-time favorite local institutions, the aforementioned Powell’s Books, as well as this literature-themed Nalgene water bottle. (They also come in sci-fi, philosophymathematics, and women authors—oh my god, that last one is definitely new and I NEED IT).

Since high school I’ve acquired two more pairs of Out of Print socks.

In college, friends gave me these Shakespeare and Jane Austen bandaids and this banned books mug.

In college I also started to obtain literary wall art and posters. I have some framed book illustrations from an antique collection of Shakespeare’s plays, a Kenyon Review poster (it’s, uh, obviously not blurry in person—I just couldn’t find a better picture), and a vintage poster from the Oregon Shakespeare Festival.

Since graduating from college, I’ve obtained tote bags from AWP 2018, the Poetry Foundation, The New Yorker, (couldn’t find pictures/links for all of them) and a grocery bag from Powell’s Books. I also got a vintage Oregon Shakespeare Festival t-shirt as well as this t-shirt from their most recent season.

Since I’ve been in New York I’ve gotten yet more tote bags from Words Without Borders, the Feminist Press, Drawn and Quarterly, and the Strand. I also bought this sticker, this keychain, and this t-shirt from the Strand.

I know this is probably leaving quite a bit out,* and I’m sorry if by any chance you see this post and notice that I’ve left something that you’ve given me out—this is just off the top of my head!

Oh, and just in case you’re wondering, I’m eyeing these socks for the upcoming holidays; this McNally Jackson tote bag; and this Community Bookstore tote bag. I already have too many tote bags. Oh, and the Powell’s Nalgene women authors water bottle that I discovered in the process of answering this question.

*This list, it should be noted, doesn’t include any of the comics-related stuff that I own. So … yes, there’s more, haha. I’d be happy to write about that as well if anyone would like—just send me a message!

25) What books do you read over and over?

Paradise Lost ● John Milton

White Teeth ● Zadie Smith

Pride and Prejudice ● Jane Austen

Persuasion ● Jane Austen

Against Memoir ● Michelle Tea

Wuthering Heights ● Charlotte Brontë

Sabrina ● Nick Drnaso

A Christmas Carol ● Charles Dickens

Citizen: An American Lyric ● Claudia Rankine

The Sherlock Holmes canon ● Sir Arthur Conan Doyle

Macbeth, Hamlet, King Lear, Pericles, the Henriad ● Shakespeare

Bad Feminist ● Roxane Gay

And, of course, I know there are some I’m definitely forgetting!

Interestingly, there are plenty of books that I love just as much as these ones that I haven’t read more than once. I guess it’s because I rarely re-read books. There are so many good books out there, and I want to read as many of them as I can rather than reading the same ones again—at least, most of the time. When I do read books more than once, it’s usually because 1) I really, really loved the book, 2) I’m craving a story that’s really comforting, 3) I know I’ll get more out of the book if I read it more than once, or 4) the book is the only reading option (or one of the only reading options) I have at the time.

Thank you so much for sending in these questions, and I’m sorry it took so long to get around to them! Hopefully my responses were interesting. :) I promise to provide swifter responses in the future!

In solidarity,

Your local FP intern <3


Doodled a little chibi of rosie! Sorry for the lack of clothes i shall add them later lolol

hhHHHH I MIGHT CRY??? I MIGHT CRY???? I LOVE YOUR STYLE SO SO SO MUCH I WANNA DRINK IT LIKE A MAGIC POTION… god thats such a perfect pose too how did u capture her exact essence so flawlessly im sdfgdfsgd

legit i love this so much, im beaming rn. i always love art of her, i don’t have a lot of it so this is so special ToT

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Warcraft Shirt | Alliance Mage Stone Letter Tee | Unisex | Unofficial

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Winter holidays are almost there, so our crew prepares for them too^^ Don’t forget to get ready too, dears^^

Chris, Naazel and Sona belong to @captainthane

Cereza belongs to @jenny626 and @jenniesart

Michael, Lucifer, Axel, Anoli and Liya belong to @wildstarfan and @milasartblog (both me)

Okaria et Feria belongs to @wildstarfan @jenny626 and @captainthane



I’ve just wrapped 4/5 senses gifts for my boyfriend, I haven’t baked the Taste section yet so I’ll have to figure out how to wrap those closer to the time.

I’m actually so proud of myself for the effort I’ve put in- double sided tape and everything!

I can’t wait for Christmas now ❤️