I’m really stuck between what I want to do with my life. I’m in what I’d call a “resting spot” where I’m not being forced, or feeling forced, to try to fulfill an empty college degree as quickly as possible. Instead I’m working as many hours a week as I can to cover bills and a little extra expenses. But I’ve been, and am continually asked, what I want to do with my life…
I’ve got so many ideas, but two big ones really pop out the most;
Crazy, right? So different. One I’d have to go back to college for, and for several years and consume so much more debt with. And the other is a nine month program. My friends all say I’d be great at either…so I really don’t know. My father wants me to be a drug and alcohol counselor, and my mother just wants me to be happy with whatever I choose.
Either way, I can’t pursue any at the moment. I work over 40 hours a week and am practically a single parent Monday-Friday while my fiancé works 80 hours or more a week…
I think when Eve is in school, and a lot of our major bills are paid off, I’ll either go to part time or quit my job for the time being so I can pursue one degree head on, full force. Until then, I’ve got a few years to really figure out which one. But it all still frustrates me. I’ve watched close friends find what they’re passionate about early on and fly with it. Yet here I am, over in the corner, twiddling my thumbs trying to figure out what makes me happy. I want to feel that passion…
I’m hoping that leading my life through a more religious and clean path will allow me to focus into the right direction for myself and my family. I’m hoping through my adventures and growth with Christ I will find my direction, my passion.
This verse really stuck out to me. I’ve been letting a lot go and really focusing on the “if it’s meant to be, it will” or “let go and let God”. They’re pretty much the same thing. When something big or difficult happens, I let it go because it will go how it’s supposed to and how it’s meant to. God puts you down a path he knows you can handle, and one he designed specifically for you. He’ll lead me down the path I’m meant to go.