Catty confession: when I see a rich, handsome man with a wife or girlfriend uglier than me, it makes me happy and gives me hope. Not trying to take him in particular, of course, but I figure there are others like him who are single or divorced and if she can get one, I can too.

IDK if this makes me a bad person or not. I’m not wishing harm on anyone, just enjoying a little self-esteem boost. And who knows, now that I feel a lot better about life in general (for completely different reasons) and sort-of kind-of have a vague life plan (and understand better why making plans is so hard for me, so I can deal with that and route around it better) maybe I’ll even be good enough for someone ambitious, good-looking, fun, and not clingy.

Like no, I am not going to be able to boast that I graduated a prestigious university with a master’s degree at 24 and made millions by 30. That train left the station, finished its final haul, got decommissioned, and rusted in a junkyard a long time ago. And I don’t look like a model, I’m only above average. But there’s no good reason I can’t do something now. I’m not going to get a family, so I might as well do my best at something else and enjoy my life.