Posts on Twitter:

Poetry feeds me like a lion eating meat.



















The , and ...... WATCHING the and just affirmed the as a FAILED on a majority vote (4:3) and i em now sure that ,..The best president will be eligible to stand in




That you get when you find out a service center has a short wait time. Remember to check our service center wait times by waitpbc to 41411.










– บ้างก็เชื่อว่า คนเรามีหลายภพชาติ แต่บ้างก็เชื่อตรงข้าม ซึ่งไม่ว่าจะมีกี่ภพชาติ มีจริงไหม เท่าที่เรารู้ว่ามีชาตินี้ แล้วทำอะไรให้เต็มที่ สำคัญที่สุด







190319 컴백쇼콘 바다를 보면 세운이가 생각나고, 세운이를 보면 바다가 생각나🌊



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りゅうくん、おやすみなさい ゆっくり眠ったら、 元気になれるかな? 深く眠ったら、心が軽くなるかな? 目が覚めるまで、おやすみなさい 大事な貴方が素敵に過ごせますように









Posts on Tumblr:

Loneliness

I am lonely.
It’s not like I don’t have friends or people I could talk to.
There are definitely people who love me, I know that for sure. But it’s something else that makes me feel lonely. Something deep inside me that just tells me that I don’t have anybody.
I have people I can talk to, but I tell myself that they would never understand me and that I just annoy them. They can tell me the opposite infinite times and I still wouldn’t believe them.
I’m so sorry about that because I know that they want to help me want me to be happy.
But there is just no way that I can be happy.

I think I annoy my very best friend. She’s always been here for me, but I feel like she did this out of pity, not because she likes me.
It’s not her fault I feel like this, she doesn’t do anything wrong.
Anyway, I feel like that with every person in my life.
My film crew, my other best friend, my crush. Everyone is annoyed by me, without a reason. For me, it’s just clear, even though they would never admit this. They would never admit this out of pity, they feel sorry for me and don’t want to be a bad person. So they just stick with me.
Currently, I am playing with the thoughts of just doing the work for them. Letting myself go from everyone.

But that’s just a part of the loneliness I feel inside me.
The other part is just… I don’t know how to say it. I’m isolated.
Yes, I spend most of my time in my room, but even if I am playing Basketball with my friends or if I go to school or if I just spend time with my family… I feel like I am the only one who feels like this, and with that I feel isolated and lonely.
If I think logically, I know for sure that I am not the only one who feels like this, not the only depressed person on this planet. There are hundreds of thousands of other people who feel similar.
But I’m a person. I feel depressed, I cannot think rational all the time.
Well, if I think about it, yes, of course, I can think rational all the time, but I cannot steer my feelings with my thoughts. But my feelings can steer my thoughts.

I want her to be mine, yes of course. But at the same time, I know that this will never be the reality if I stay the way I am. If I never text her. If I never ask her to do something.
But at the same time, I don’t want to text her. Not because I don’t like her.
I really like her.
But I’m exhausted. The problem with depression is, that most people think it’s just a lot of sadness.
But it isn’t. It ain’t a synonym for sadness either.
Depression is loneliness, exhaustion.
Just think about it. If you lost your will to live, you are not sad, at least not necessarily. You are exhausted. Exhausted from your work. Exhausted of social contact.
You are exhausted from being alive and keep going.

But you have to.

Please keep going.

If you are not kept awake at night by memories of me
You should be
Because you’ll never find another heart quite like mine
Why should I be the one to lose sleep
When my growth in these past two years
Has far exceeded anything
You were unwilling to try?

And quite honestly?
Fuck your apathy
Your incapacity to feel
Does not mean that you walked away
From this battle unscathed
Your wounds are still festering
But what else is new?

And I still feel sorry for you
But my empathy
Does not incapacitate me
Nayyirah Waheed taught me
That increased softness is a sign
That you have been loved
And perhaps you did in your own way

I just loved me better