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Finished casting my show.

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Doing too much on the weekends will come back to haunt you on Monday

This man is my rock. Thank you to everyone who has sent support. Today has been shit. Low, utter despair and not believing anything anyone says to me. I’ve had to ignore things, sleep lots & just try and ignore the feeling of wanting to hurt myself

my off day started with baking chocolate chip cookies and spicy chicken floss buns, finishing off with chicken fajita kind of meal..seriously?! I’m too tired to do anything now 😴

All i need is for some to rub my back and play with my hair as I fall asleep with my head in the lap, is that too much to ask for?

Imagine being so tired.. mentally and physically that your eyelids are so heavy theyre trying to close as you walk to work...

When you have the mood to code but find 🤯 internet connection

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Discovered I can make this top off the shoulder 💁🏽‍♀️

Ps. Running off of only 5 hours sleep and been up for 18 hours and dying

ok.. but imagine yuma and birds. like a cockatoo or something.. hm

Day 2:

I am so fucking exhausted and I have a sleeping desorder actually

I won’t count my calories intake

I repeat

I won’t count my calories intake

Bc I don’t want an ed

And I will stop this shit as soon as I reach my goal and will focus more on eating healthy ..maybe always skip dinner ..but eat enough to stay the way I am.

Tomorrow I’ll hit the gym for the first time

Honestly I’m so tired. I’m tired of living. I’m tired of trying. I’m tired of having to constantly worry about my weight. I’m tired of not being able to recover. I’m tired of not being properly starving. I’m tired of trying anything at this point and doing ANYTHING even waking up exhausts me and makes me want to cry. Even crying everyday doesn’t seem to be enough to let it all out.

The following things happened in succession in the past 30 minutes

  • Mom called saying she needs my left thumbprint right NOW it’s urgent
  • We don’t have an ink pad here so grandad and I are trying to compromise with inks
  • Ink spilled EVERYWHERE
  • My mom called saying nvm she doesn’t need it
  • Grandad was angry at mom and by then my pad leaked so badly for the fourth time today. My uterus is so angry at me being a lesbian

So here I am washing my bedsheet and mattress,,,,an icon