Almost all my Tumblrs (this one, my polytheistic atheism sideblog, and another account with three and a half porn blogs on it) are secret.  I have a Doctor Who blog that I almost never update that people I know in real life know about, but all the ones I actively maintain, I don’t share with anyone I know.  I don’t want to be judged for them by people I know.  It’s easier to open up to strangers, because I don’t give a fuck if you judge me, you’re just a bunch of internet randos.  :D

Anyway, I’m trying to get the basics of life in order and chugging away as a routine.  I’ve never had a routine, or at least one that wasn’t a desperate struggle that I deviated from frequently because of sleep issues.  But the working world runs on routine, and I need income, so I need to return to the working world, so I need to at least try to cultivate a routine.  I got up before noon today (around 11) – trying to gradually pull back my wake time to 8 AM.  I’m trying to eat out less and cook more.  That will be harder when I’m employed full-time, but if I can get in the habit of making a large amount of food on the weekend, that should speed the process of having healthy, inexpensive home-cooked meals on the regular, possibly even giving me something to take to work for lunch sometimes.  Also, I need to get into the habit of leaving the house, and of getting some exercise.

I’m also working on personal code projects to brush up on my skills again and searching for jobs on LinkedIn to apply to.  So far I’ve only been applying to the ones that use LinkedIn EasyApply, but pretty soon I’ll need to expand into the others as well, I think.

And my love life, well…  I’m going out of my way to message women on dating sites more often, which is a tremendous emotional effort for me and rarely pays off, and when it does it “pays off” in the form of a first date which is even more emotional effort and even less likely to pay off with a second date, so…  like, even the “success” case in this arena is such a great effort and such a low ROI that it usually feels worse than the failure case.  Pyrrhic victory.  Dating feels like an exercise in Pyrrhic futility to me.  It’s…  not good.  I think I need to wander over to my polytheistic atheism blog and work with Aphrodite on that some more.  :\

Anyway, just trying to be more focused and more productive lately.  Take the advice I gave a friend, figure out what’s making progress difficult and identify fixes, workarounds, etc. to continue progressing anyway…