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I don’t have it all figured out.

It used to scare me, not having an answer to the famous question “What do you want to be when you grow up?” Unlike most of my peers who had answers they could easily pull out from the top of their heads, I didn’t, and still don’t have one. 

But if there’s one thing I realized in my twenty years of trying and failing, it’s that its okay to not have it all figured out. Because in confusion you are forced to search for answers, and in the process of searching there is growth. In the process of searching, you exercise faith and trust in the One who has them. And that is vital.

After wrestling with my anxieties, I came to the conclusion that the journey is more important than the destination, and that what matters most is not what I do but rather who I become.

So, who do I want to be? Well, I want to be someone who makes life easier for other people. How do I do that? I don’t know yet. But we’ll get there. In the meantime, I’m going to trust the process, the journey, and the One taking this path with me.

everyone is leaving at work

we had a brand new girl of THREE. EFFING. DAYS. just walk out and quit.

then my two supervisors tell me THEY are leaving. instead of ya girl getting promoted they’re bringing in outside management. 

so I HAVE ONE MONTH TO FIND A BETTER PAYING JOB THAT UTILIZES MY DEGREE AND FULL POTENTIAL WITH BENEFITS THAT I ACTUALLY DESERVE AND I AM STRESSING OUT

I want this job to be it. I am so fucking done with being 25 and feeling like I’m floating from job to job and each one promising there’s room to grow when there absolutely isn’t. 

I want my career. I am not settling anymore. 

I am smart. I am skilled. I am innovative. I am strong. I am determined. I am everything any job anywhere could possibly need and I refuse to accept a job just because they offer from now on.

Stärken von Chefs

Während viele Chefs schlechte Zuhörer sind, liegt ihre Stärke woanders. Durchweg gute Noten bekamen sie in der Studie in Disziplinen, die eher mit Informationsaufnahme und Verarbeitung als mit zwischenmenschlichen Gesprächen und Dialogführung zu tun haben: Schnell lesen, kurz und bündig formulieren, komplizierte Sachverhalte verständlich darzustellen – das können die Manager. Es sind nicht Sachverhalte und Informationen, die Führungskräften das Leben schwer machen, sondern eher Gefühle und die Reaktionen ihrer Zuhörer und Gesprächspartner. Für Daniel Pinnow kein unerwartetes Ergebnis:

trans and poor

being poor sucks. being transgender suck. being poor and transgender sucks even more. realizing you don’t have the money, always having to worry about money n your own future. it’s so hard to find a job where you’re not treated like complete shit. it’s hard finding a job that will pay you more than minimum wage.

I kid you not I question every day how I’m still going? I wonder why I'm still trying. I always have the hope that one day I will find my way, that one day I can do more than barely get by, that one day I can afford to transition. 

I’ve spent five years hopping job to job hoping it will last. I've spent five years realizing I can’t continue this way and that something has to change. I can’t spend the rest of my life making 7.25 an hour and looking at myself as I currently am in the mirror. I can’t continue to couch hop my whole life because I can’t afford my own apartment. I'm trying so hard to set down some root but it’s hard to do when nobody taught you shit about the actual world around you.

but somehow (though I don't understand it) I keep going…