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Be proud to be you, your amazing and unique don't let any one ever ever make u feel any different โšช๏ธ๐Ÿ”ต๐Ÿ’– PROUD OF YOU!! I ain't letting anyone make u regret that because honestly if that's all they care about is it worth it?






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Return to work

3/5/2019

Yesterday was my firsy day back to work. 6 weeks FLEW by! I have been with my company for a year and a half and for an entire year i struggled to go to work. I called in sick all the time, I traded my shifts away, i left early.. i would do and say anything just to be back at home, in my room, laying in bed where i felt safe and comfortable. Im very fortunate to have my job still. I know that if i didnt work for such a wonderful company and wasnt protected by the union, i would have been fired a very long time ago.

I struggled with going to/ staying a full day at work for many reasons but at the ebd of the day what it all boiled down to was that i was uncomfortable with myself. I was disgusted with who i was as a person and physically. And clearly it really affected my work. I was embaressed that I was taking advantage of being able to trade so many shifts away. I was embaressed that other employees didnt know what was going on and that from their perspective it just looked like i didnt give a fuck about my career or anyone that i worked with.

During my six weeks off I made a lot of drastic changes to my life and the more i changed the better i felt emotionally and physically. The more confident i became. I found myself WANTING and EXCITED to go back to work. I started setting goals and timelines for my career and for my future so i could see my progress and be proud of what im doing and to keep myself motivated.

Yesterday was a really long day for me.. i had to get up at 3am to get ready for work. I started at 6am and was in training all day until 2:30pm. I was EXHAUSTED by the time i made it home. I saw some of my friends at work and had a few people tell me how great i looked and how happy they were to see me. (I didnt tell anyone that i work with about the surgery) everyone is different and has different opinions on how they want to handle it but for me, when asked where i had been, i just told them i had minor surgery on my foot. I will tell the people i want to tell when im ready and on my own terms. Im not ashamed of having the surgery by any means. However, as someone who has been bullied her entire life about her weight and looks, i know first hand how mean, crass, judgmental.. whatever word you want to use. You get the point though. People flat out SUUUUUCK. They are so mean and hurtful i just want to keep this a private thing between me, the people i love and care about, and this anonymous blog.

Im not delusional, i know that people will be able to figure it out for themselves because in 6 weeks i have lost 50 pounds so itd obvious that something is going on… but it is no one else’s business but mine unless i feel comfortable enough to share with them what o had done.

Today was my second day of work and my first official day back in my normal work area at my normal start time. I was a little nervous walking in because i was scared thst people would see me and think “oh great SHE’s back… the lazy fat one” but honestly i slipped in unnoticed at first and sat down and started reading a book and eating my daily protein bar. After a while a few people noticed me and came to give me a big hug and said they were so happy to see me. That made me feel really good and welcomed. So I went about my day with a whole new attitude about being there and working hard. it feels really good to have a new outlook on my career. While i was off my dad said to me that i beed to rethink my behaviour towards my job because i have the opportunity to keep moving up in the company and make more money than anyone in my family. (Not that making more money than my family is important to me) because its not. I hope my sister and brother in-law can make great money too for their family. But when my dad said this to me it honestly made me sit back and realize how right he is. I have dreams to travel and adventure. I have dreams to move to the city and experience city life. I have dreams to volunteer all over the world. I would never be able to make any of those dreams into reality if i didnt have the job i do now.

I am so thrilled to be back and to get on the right path financially and start working very hard for the future i want!

Thats all for now.

💋