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i really hope i have twins some day

anonymous asked:

If God was to drop a child in your lap today miraculously for some reason, like you open the door and theres the child, what name would you give your new son or daughter?

I love the names Blair and Isolde for a girl. I love the traditional spelling of ‘Iseult’ but I want my daughter’s teachers to be able to pronounce it hahah. Those names have been on my list for forever!

For a boy, I like Dean, Edmund, or Edouard. Edouard holds a special place in my heart as that name is the name of a brave gentleman I met in Luxembourg.

DAY 236

Khandahar, Kolkata………..20 Jun, 2019 Thu, 07:31 pm

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Ignorance and irresponsibility of our system…

youtube

Chamki Terror among children in Muzaffarpur, Bihar……

@rjraunac, you’re really doing a good work by making a snip on the irresponsible politicians and our the ignorance of our system……

I know that not many people read my blogs and the number is almost zero…and today also I won’t be requesting anyone to read it or follow me……. I’m just requesting to have a look at this video from the youtube channel of @rjraunac…… This video speaks enough….

I’m Not Going Anywhere (Dad!Ben Hardy Fluff)


A/N: I think this is my longest fic to date - over 9K words! Dad!Ben is my kink and I have zero shame so enjoy! Thank you again @kellysimagines for the awesome request, ugh I love you!

Warnings: FLUFF, Description of childbirth and all that stuff that goes with trouble with fertility. It’s heart wrenching and heart warming all at once. So much emotion. So much sensitive Ben. Have fun contracing baby fever!

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“Morning, Baby!” A deep, gravelly voice said into your ear before placing a kiss on the smooth skin below it. You rolled over as well as you could at the end of your 9 months of pregnancy to see your husband Ben, glowing in the early morning light, blonde curls disheveled from sleep and green eyes faintly glassy. You moved your hand to caress his cheek, “Good morning, Benny.” He smiled warmly before leaning down to place a deep kiss to your lips. His hand traveled from your chin down to your swollen belly - he hadn’t been able to get enough of your bump over the last nine months. The baby grew more active as Ben’s hand ran along the expanse of your bump. “Good Morning to you, too Little Bean!” Ben giggled, his eyes sparkling with childlike wonder at the movement of the small human growing inside you. “I’m not so sure about how little she is anymore!” You laughed humorlessly. It was so early and your little girl was already so active; when she first started kicking and moving around it was cute, and now that she was almost ready to be born, it hurt or was uncomfortable, or gave you the very sudden urge to pee. You were more than ready to evict this little girl from your womb and hold her in your arms - and she needed to stop making herself so comfortable because she’d already been inside two days past her due date and you didn’t know how much more of her tap dancing your body could take! “She’s incredibly active this morning, and she was all night, too! She needs to get out; I feel like a beached whale and every time her little foot kicks against my bladder it hurts!” You groaned, Ben wrapped his arms around you tighter and placed a kiss on your head. “I know love, we’re almost there. You could pop at any minute.” He was beaming, “Daddy can’t wait to meet you, Little Bean!” Ben cooed, rubbing soft circles on your belly. “And the earlier you get here the better because Mummy wants you out!” You said, placing your hand on top of Ben’s. He chuckled, “I love you, I’m so excited to have this baby with you!” He nuzzled his face into your hair, sighing deeply out of bliss. “I’m so happy, I love my girls so much I can’t stand it.” You felt him smile against you as he placed a soft kiss against your hair and you ran your fingers through his blonde curls. “And your girls love you too, Ben. The one just needs to get out here so she can tell you herself!” He peppered kisses down your jawline and along your neck. He laughed against your skin, his lips traveling to your collarbone. “Ben, I love you but I don’t think I have it in me right now.” You groaned - sex with Ben was great, and got even better since you found out you were pregnant, but you were exhausted and everything was sore from the slew of contractions you’d experienced to no avail over the last few days and the only thing you could focus on was sending telepathic signals to your baby to make your water break. “You know it can help to start labor?” Ben urged. “I know and that’s why I hate that I’m so exhausted.” You whined. “And technically, labor has STARTED, my water just hadn’t broken.” You groaned, annoyed that your stupid water wasn’t broken, your little girl wasn’t here already, and your doctor wasn’t going to induce you for another day and a half. “I can do all the work, you know!” He chimed, raising an eyebrow. “No, Ben, later!” You laughed, pushing your needy husband gently. “Is that a promise?” He asked with a smirk, “Watch it!”

You laughed, poking his chest before pulling him back to your lips for a kiss. “I love you, Momma. You’re so cute.” He said against your lips. “I love you too, but I’m also starving, do you think you can make breakfast?” You asked, sticking out your lip for dramatic effect. Ben feigned annoyance and rolled out of bed, planting his feet firmly on the floor and extending his hand to you to help you from the bed. You took a second to admire him - he’d put on a little sympathy weight throughout your pregnancy, but it suited him well. He got so skinny around the time he shot Bohemian Rhapsody and had stayed that way for a while; he was starting to look more like his normal self - still incredibly muscular - like he was sculpted by the gods - just a bit softer around the edges. Ben was immaculate, standing there nearly bare in his black boxer briefs; how did you get so lucky to have not only a man who was beautiful on the outside, but just as beautiful - if not more - on the inside. He was going to be such a good dad to your little girl and your heart was already overflowing with pride. You took Ben’s hand and he helped steady you as you stood - being pregnant hadn’t been too bad, but these last couple weeks had been a real bear - and as soon as your feet were on the ground you felt a sharp pain in your belly, you let out a yelp and a groan, feeling your knees start to buckle. Ben tightened his grip on you, bending down to meet your face with his. “Baby, what happened?” He asked, concern in his eyes. “Contraction. Big one.” You said through gritted teeth, letting out a loud, labored breath. “Breathe through it, baby. In and out, love. Focus on me, I’m right here.” Ben’s voice was soothing, and his hands moved to put counter pressure on your lower back as you waited for the contraction to pass. “That’s the worst one I’ve had yet, hopefully that means we’re close.” You groaned - your heart racing from the adrenaline and your body slumping over from exhaustion. “Come on, love let’s get you comfortable and fed and we’ll just wait it out. We’ve got all the time in the world.” Ben said, leading you out of your shared bedroom and down the stairs to the kitchen. He sent you to the couch, handing you a blanket and the tv remote with the instruction to relax and he’d be back soon with breakfast, placing a kiss to your head before walking back to the kitchen and digging through the cabinets for cooking utensils. “Baby, what do you want to eat?” Ben called. “Just an egg and some toast, I don’t want to eat too much but want something.” You replied. You heard Ben rustling about in the kitchen and you peeked over at him, watching the top half of his body move behind the counter. He’d run back to the laundry room to pop on a shirt - the soft grey one that you knew was his favorite, and you could see his muscles flex and relax with even the simplest of movements.


Ben came out from the kitchen with two plates in his hands, both full of eggs and toast - just like you’d asked, and he handed you a fork to eat it with. As soon as you took your first bite of toast - boom, another contraction. “Shit!” You murmured, handing Ben the plate and doubling yourself over - trying to stretch your aching muscles and clutching at your bump. “Is it another bad one?” Ben asked, his hand rubbing circles on your back. “Mm, hm.” You hummed, you could barely talk it hurt so bad. Your face felt hot and you could nearly see stars. “Babe, breathe! It’s worse when you hold your breath.” Ben said - he noticed everything. You took a shaky breath in and exhaled - it did help, but not as much as you wished it would. When you felt the pain finally subside, you fell into Ben’s chest, clutching at him like he was the only thing keeping you grounded. He handed you your piece of toast and you lazily took a bite - like a child with the flu taking a bite of a cracker - you nodded against him. “Labor fucking sucks.” You grumbled, mouth full of toast. Ben chuckled and wrapped his arms around you tighter. “I know, love, but when it’s all over we’ll have a precious baby girl to love and cuddle for the rest of our lives.” Ben said, placing a kiss to your now very sweaty forehead. “Why does it have to take so LONG?!” You whined as Ben rocked you back and forth. “It’s a marathon, not a sprint.” Ben said, a grin plastered across his face. “It’s torture is what it is.” You looked up at him with big eyes, hoping for some sympathy. “I know, baby.” Ben leaned down to place a soft kiss on your lips. Your hand moved to his soft blonde curls, deepening the kiss and tugging slightly at the soft strands. You both pulled back with a soft sigh. “After we have the baby, are we still going to have time like this? Just us, holding each other? If we’re parents can we still make out like teenagers?” Ben chuckled, thinking about how many times you’d come home from work to see him sitting there after a long week on set, only to leap onto his lap and ensnare his lips with yours; Tongues clashing, mouths sucking, leaving purpling love-bites on each other’s necks. It was something that had definitely been a precursor to the baby you’d made together. “We’ll make time.” he said quizzically. You smiled up at him mischievously, “Because I can hardly resist jumping your bones on this couch.” He laughed. “What did I do to deserve you?” He laughed, his hand moving to caress your cheek. “I love you.” He whispered, and you placed your hand on his, “I love you, too.” You replied back.


You lay there in each other’s arms for a few moments before you felt yourself start to cramp up and you had to switch positions. Ben turned on the TV and queued up a show the two of you had probably watched 1000 times before. “A distraction.” Ben said and moved to wrap his arms around you again. He cuddled against your belly - he loved to feel the baby’s every movement - and eventually you both dozed off for a couple hours from the exhaustion that came from waiting for your baby to come. When you woke up, feeling somewhat refreshed, you figured it was probably a good idea to shower - just in case you did have to go to the hospital. You nudged your dozing husband and he helped you up off the couch. “You want me to help you?” He asked, a glint of worry in his eyes, “No I think I’ll be good. Haven’t had a contraction for a bit and I’m feeling far more alert. I think I can shower myself.” You said. Ben didn’t look convinced, but let you go up to shower unescorted.

You got to the master bath and turned on the shower, feeling immediate satisfaction from the steam of the hot water. You undressed and stepped into the steamy glass box, reveling in the feeling of the hot water against your achy skin. You washed your hair, and never thought that the feeling of your nails massaging your scalp could feel so good. When you finished, you stepped out, grabbing fresh towels to gently dry your skin before putting on your robe to dry your hair. As you flipped your head over to wrap your hair in a towel, you felt a shudder in your lower belly and then a gush. Your water broke - FINALLY. You stood up, processing what had just happened and felt a powerful contraction hit. You started laughing out of both pain and disbelief. “BEN!” You yelled as loud as you could muster and immediately heard his feet pounding against the stairs, and a little stumble followed by a “shit” then saw your husband’s flushed face, wide eyes, and a skinned knee in the doorway. “Y/n? What happened? What’s wrong?” Ben looked frantic and his knee was bleeding. “My water just broke.” You squeaked, struggling to maintain your excitement and nerves. “Really? She’s coming?” He asked, his expression softening slightly. “Yeah, yeah Benny! We’re gonna be parents today!” He walked over to you in a daze, taking your face in his hands and kissing you hard on the mouth. “We’re gonna be parents!” He squealed like an excited little child. “Can you call the OB and grab the timer and give it to me while I get ready, We need to see how far apart contractions are but I want to dry my hair and get ready before we leave.” You tried to get all the words in before the next contraction rocked your body. Ben nodded, frantically rushing about the room like Frankie right after the first person gets home in the evening. “Ben, your knee!” You cried out, laughing nervously. “Don’t worry about that, WE’RE HAVING A BABY!” Ben beamed, drying up the blood from the scrape with a tissue and heading out the door to find his phone.

You got your hair dried - having to stop every couple minutes for a contraction - and got yourself dressed and headed downstairs to find Ben loading go-bags into the car and chattering excitedly into his phone. “Yeah, we’re heading to the hospital now. I’m gonna be a DAD, Joe - i can’t believe it!” You walked over to him, wrapping your arms around his waist and leaning your head against his chest. Ben’s arm curled around your shoulders and he pulled you closer to him. “I’ve gotta go, we’re ready to head out. But I promise I’ll call as soon as she’s here. You’re at Gwil’s right?” Ben asked into the phone. “Perfect. Cheers, mate.” And he hung up, putting the phone in the pocket of his sweats. “Ready?” He asked, you could hear his heart racing in his chest as he held you close. “As ready as I can be.” You said, his hands trailing up and down your spine. “Are you nervous, Ben? You’re heart is pounding!” You chuckled softly. “Fuck yes. I don’t want to mess up this whole dad thing. It’s all so REAL!” Ben said, his voice laced with awe and emotion. “And I have to watch you go through a lot of pain over the next few hours. I hate to see you hurt and know there’s nothing I can do.” Ben said, you felt him squeeze you tightly and place a long kiss on your head. “I know, Ben. There’s no avoiding the fact that labor is going to be fucking painful and no one but me can physically experience that. But there is something you can do and that is never leave my side and keep encouraging me when I don’t think i can do it anymore.” You reaches your hands up to caress his cheeks - his emerald eyes were a bit glassy, oh how you hoped your baby got those beautiful eyes - you smiled up at him, “Just think about holding our beautiful baby girl for the first time. I can’t wait to meet her and see her in her daddy’s arms.” Ben smiled softly, leaning his forehead against yours. “I’ll never leave your side. You have my word. Now let’s meet our little girl!” Ben said, pecking your lips and taking your hand, leading you out to the car. “And if I yell at you during labor, I promise it isn’t personal and I don’t mean it. Everything just hurts.” You said, Ben looked over at you, chuckling and shaking his head as he shifted the car into gear. “I’m gonna hold you to that, love!” He grinned and sped toward the hospital.

When you arrived at the hospital’s birthing center, Ben was on top of it. “Yeah, I called our OB about an hour ago,” you heard Ben explaining to the nurse at check in everything that they told you to have prepared at one of the birthing classes you’d made him go to. He was far more calm now than he had been at the house, which was great, and he was signing all the insurance papers without needing to ask you any questions. It was a miracle! He walked over to where you were sitting in one of the chairs, gripping the armrests to get through another contraction. “What’s the time now, two/three minutes?” Ben asked, eyebrows raised and the worry back in his eyes. You nodded and groaned. “Here, take my hand and just breathe, baby, breathe.” You gripped Ben’s hand for dear life, squeezing it tightly and breathing in and out raggedly. “There, we go.” Ben said, his voice a bit strained as you were nearly crushing his hand. You began to loosen your grip and he relaxed, “There, better?” He asked, giving you a soft smile and you leaned your head on his shoulder. “You’re doing Great, love. You’re doing great.” He kissed the top of your head and the nurse called you back to your room. “I’ll grab the bags and catch up to you.” Ben said, giving your hand a squeeze as you followed the nurse down the hall.

The room you’d been given was exactly what you’d asked for and more; there was your typical hospital bed, and all of the medical equipment, but behind a curtain there was a huge tub that looked more like a hot tub than any of the birthing tubs you saw photos of on Pinterest. Your OB had suggested a water birth from day one since you were so nervous about the medical aspect of delivery. According to her, the pain is easier to manage, and you feel like you’re a little more in control of the whole birth, which was something you desperately craved. Ben arrived soon with your bags in tow as you started to get settled. “Damn, this is better than I expected it to be. Not quite as medical and intimidating as I feared it would be.” You and Ben both hated hospitals, no question about it. This room wasn’t as comfortable as your home, but it was far more comfortable than it could have been. As you started unpacking your bag and changing into the clothes you’d brought to give birth in, you felt another contraction hit you hard and Ben ran to grab a nurse - you knew the baby was getting close because you could no longer talk through the contractions; the only thing you could do was close your eyes and pray that they passed quickly. Ben came back in the room and stood next to you where you were bracing yourself against the bed; your knuckles were white and you felt tears starting to bubble up in your eyes. “Hey, baby it’s ok!” Ben’s voice was so soothing, his strong, soft hands rubbed against your lower back. “It’s all going to be over in a few hours. I know it’s a long time but you’ll make it, I promise.” When the contraction subsided, you collapsed into Ben’s arms and he ran his hand comfortingly through your hair. “Here, love - let me help. He said, taking the lapels of his flannel shirt you’d stolen for the occasion and unbuttoning it to help you into your hospital gown that you’d wear until you had to get into the water and actually give birth.

When you were dressed the nurse came in to take your vitals and administer your IV before your OB could come in and get everything started. You sat up on the bed and Ben perched in the chair next to you. When she whipped out the needle for the IV, Ben saw it and tipped, making you more nervous. He tried to shake it off and take your opposite hand, but he was squeezing yours back just as hard as you were holding on to him. The nurse asked how far apart your contractions were - they were about 3 minutes apart now and really becoming a pain. When the nurse was done writing all her notes and had set up your drip, she headed to the stool at the foot of the bed, asking you to put your feet in the stirrups so she could check to see how dilated you were already. “Five centimeters, you’re already half way there, Momma!” The nurse said and you slumped back on the pillow. You felt slightly defeated; only half way? Half. Fucking. Way. The nurse told you she’d call your OB in soon, and be back in about an hour to check how dilated you were again as she headed out of the room. “Ben saw your defeated look and squeezed your hand. “Only half way, Ben? Seriously?” He eubbed soothing circles on the back of your hand, “I know, love. It sucks.” You felt angry tears fall down your cheeks, “Love, don’t cry! Look at me!” He said, placing a hand on your cheek and rubbing a tear away with his thumb, “Today is going to be hard, and it’s going to hurt, and there will be times like right now where it feels like it’s too much to take.” His eyes were so soft and his voice so warm, “But you are so strong, and so brave; I know you can do it. You didn’t stick yourself with needles and go to countless doctor’s appointments for over two years of fertility treatments to give up now when we are so close to meeting our little angel.” He smiled at you, “If I could take the pain away from you, I would in a heartbeat. And if I could snap my fingers and be holding my little girl in my arms, I would. But know that I love you so much and I am not going anywhere.” He held your face in his hands and leaned down to kiss your lips tenderly. “I love you, Ben. And I love our little girl and I thought we were so much closer to meeting her.” Your lip quivered and you felt like a child. “I know, I hoped we were too, but we aren’t going anywhere until she’s in our arms and we can tell her in person how much we love her!” He nuzzled his nose against yours, making you smile. “Benny, can you cuddle me and put that pressure on my back for a bit? I’m exhausted and I want to try and get some sleep so I have enough energy later.” You felt like you were whining, even though you really weren’t, but Ben nodded and climbed up into the bed with you, pressing his strong hands into your lower back and rubbing the flesh with his thumbs - it felt so nice and gave you a chance to sleep somewhat soundly for a while.

The nurse came back in an hour, like she said she would and yet again only five centimeters. Another hour passed, five and a half centimeters. “You have GOT to be fucking kidding me.” You groaned at no one in particular. “I know, baby. Is this your first one? The first labor is ALWAYS the longest!” She said, trying to reassure you but you were still grumpy. The nurse gave you some pain killers and said she’d be back. The next time she checked, it was 8 PM and you were only 6 centimeters. HOW had you only dilated ONE tiny centimeter in over four hours? You looked at Ben and let out a choked sob. “It’s alright, love. Just try to get a little mor rest and wait for the painkillers to kick in. Eventually they did and it let you sleep for about an hour and a half.

When the nurse returned with your OB, it was nearly midnight and Ben nudged your shoulder lightly to wake you. “Sleeping through some contractions? You must be a really tough girl.” The nurse said, as you got ready for your doctor to check and see how dilated you were. “I wish!” You chuckled, you’d started to get used to the feeling of the sharp contractions a bit, and the medication had helped, but it was still incredibly painful and brought tears to your eyes. “Having Ben do that counter pressure and the pain meds are helping, but God I want her OUT!” You grumbled and your doctor chuckled. “That is understandable, and that’s why I’m here! Let’s see how dilated you are and see if we can take some more of that pain away, yeah?” Your OB said, situating herself at the end of your bed, and performing the same exam the nurse had done earlier. “Wow, eight and a half centimeters, you’re getting close!” She said and you breathed a sigh of relief, leaning back into Ben’s chest and feeling your heart rate slow a bit. “Just relax, try to get a little more rest and at this rate, I think we’ll be about ready to push in an hour or two!” She said patting your hand, “And Dad, keep it up; I wish they were all as calm as you!” She said to Ben with a wink and you felt him smile into your hair. When she left you turned slightly to him. “How are you so calm, Ben?” You asked. “I got an anti-anxiety prescription a few weeks ago just for this and I took an extra Xanex an hour ago. I feel on top of the world.” He said and pecked a kiss on your neck. “I figured the calmer I was, he better this would be for you.” He said and squeezed your waist tighter, cuddling into you. “Thank you, Ben. You’re the best.” You said, chuckling at your husband’s willingness to do literally anything to ease your suffering before taking his hand in yours and kissing it. “You’re welcome, I love you.” He muttered into you ear. “I love you, too.” Both of you nodded off for an hour or so, finally feeling somewhat relaxed knowing you’d meet your daughter in a couple hours.

When the OB came back in, she checked your vitals again and you get an extra hard contraction. “Breath, y/n and let me know when this contraction stops and I’ll see how dilated you are, we may be ready to have that baby!” She said excitedly you nodded and let out a shaky breath you didn’t even realize you were holding. Ben grabbed your hand and gave you a reassuring nod. “Good news! Ten centimeters, your baby is almost here!” Ben beamed at you, squeezing your hand tightly and placing a kiss on your shoulder. “I’m going to call the nurse in and we’ll get the birthing tub ready if you want to get yourself prepared. Dad, are you planning to be in the tub with her or out on the edge with me and the nurses?” Your OB looked at Ben, and he had a stunned look on his face. “I have a choice? I can be in with her, won’t I be in your way will I?” He asked, looking at you for an answer. “Yes, Ben. I want you in with me. If you want, of course.” You said, lacing your fingers in between his as you stood shakily from the bed. “You will be behind her, Ben. I promise you won’t be in the way! It’s a great, intimate way to experience the birth of your child with your partner.” The doctor assured him. He looked at you with eager eyes. “Please, Ben. I need you.” And that was all the convincing he needed, nodding and holding back happy tears as he held your face in his hands. “Of course, love. Of course!” He whispered against your lips before kissing you passionately, “We’re about to be parents! It’s all so real!” He squealed excitedly and You giggled from your nerves before you felt a strong contraction and a sudden dropping sensation that nearly knocked you over. “AAH, I think she’s coming!” You panted, trying to breathe through the pain. “Holy shit!” Ben said, keeping you steady as you leaned over the bed, bracing yourself on your elbows.

“Ben, if you want to strip down to your boxers and help get her gown off, we’re just about ready.” The doctor said and he nodded, taking a deep breath. He felt his heart start to race as he walked you over to the edge of the tub, You crouched down, feeling your baby start to drop down in your body and you let out a long groan - you learned about an hour ago that raising your voice through the contractions REALLY did help ease some of your pain. “Are you good for me to untie this, love?” He asked, and you nodded forcefully as he slipped the multiple ties loose on your hospital gown and left you in a sports bra and nothing else. He and your doctor helped you into the tub and he got in after you, sitting behind you in the warm water, your back flush with his chest. His arms instinctively wrapped around you and his lips moved to place soothing kisses on your neck. The contractions were constant now, and it felt like your insides were being ripped apart. “Alright, y/n, how are you feeling?” The doctor asked you, “I-I feel like i want to push. She-ugh- i feel like she’s dropping and is going to fall out.” You said, trying to grit your teeth and bear it through your contraction. “Yes! She’s almost here now focus on me. It looks like the baby is really coming so I need you to push as soon as your next contraction starts. Brace yourself against Ben and push as hard as you can, can you do that for me?” Your OB had such kind eyes, Ben looked over your shoulder to you and turned your face to meet his, “You’re almost there, love!” He cooed, taking your hands in his and resting them on your belly. You felt one contraction end and the next begin, “Ok, push and hold it for about ten seconds, love.” Your doctor instructed and you gritted your teeth and pushed as hard as you could - no amount of sit ups could have prepared your abdominal muscles for this amount of work. You squeezed Ben’s hands until your knuckles were white and when the doctor told you to relax you slumped against Ben’s chest. He kissed your temple and rubbed the back of your hand with thumb. You let out a little whimper and Ben whispered sweet nothings into your ear. “Do the same with the next contraction. She’s almost here, just a few more! Let out a yell if you need to while you push, our eardrums don’t mind!” Your doctor was still encouraging you and you felt the next contraction start, pushing again and letting out a loud growl from between gritted teeth. “Come on, baby! Come on!” You groaned toward your arriving daughter, and let out a long yell as you felt her get even closer to the world where you wanted her most.

“I see her head, you’re almost there! When her head is fully out, push a little more until you see a bit of her shoulder, okay? You’re going to bring her into the world, darling you’re so close!” The OB said, getting more and more excited. “Ben?” You turned to him in the brief moment between contractions. “I want you to help me pull her out and up for her first breath, okay?” You asked and he nodded with great fervor, his eyes glassy with emotion. “Ok!” he choked out, “You’re doing so good - so fucking good my love!” You took Ben’s hands in yours again, and started to push, feeling something hard and round start to pass through you until you saw a little mop of dirty blonde curls start to flow in the water between your legs so you pushed a little harder, watching your daughter arrive before your eyes. While the pain was immense, you felt yourself start to push it from your mind as you became more motivated to see this little bundle of joy make her entrance. “There she is! One more push for her shoulders and then it’s time to pull her up!” The doctor said, you pushed hard one more time and helped the little girl wiggle her shoulders free. You placed Ben’s hands with yours on her little body as you continued to push and roll your hips to free her until she was finally out and you felt your entire body sigh with both awe and relief. As you and Ben pulled her from the water together, you heard her piercing cry for the first time, leaving both of you speechless. “Ben!” You said, letting out a choked sob, “She’s so beautiful; she’s us!” He cried into your hair, placing kisses on every square inch of your skin he could find. “You did it, my love. She’s finally here!” Both you and Ben were fully sobbing as you rested the little girl on your chest, holding her tightly to your bare skin like that was the place she’d always belonged. Her cries began to taper off into coos as you and Ben clutches her close to you. Ben’s arms were tightly wrapped around your body, one hand rubbing gentle circles on the little girl’s back. “Hi, darling! We are so happy to finally meet you!” Ben said, tears spilling down his cheeks. “I can’t believe I just watched you arrive! Your mummy did so good!” His Hand moved to run through her head of thick curls. “You’re even more beautiful Than i could have imagined.” He whispered in awe. You leaned against Ben’s chest, attempting to catch your breath. “I’m going to deliver the afterbirth now, Alright love. You just relax and hold your little baby, but push when I tell you! You’re going to feel some more pressure, Alright?” You nodded. “Ok, go ahead and push, breathe, and push again.” Your doctor led you through a rhythm and soon you had delivered your placenta and could fully relax. “Congratulations! You’re new parents!” The doctor and nurses were clapping and You turned to face your husband, who placed a passionate and loving kiss to your lips. “Do you want to cut the chord, Dad?” Your doctor asked and Ben nodded, following her instructions carefully as you held your little girl in your arms.

She gurgled and cooed as the doctor picked her up to give her her first bath and her first exam; she was measured and weighed and she let out a little squeak - but not a cry when she was pricked for her blood test. A nurse came back to help you and Ben from the birthing tub, handing you towels and helping you redress yourself to relax into your bed. You were helped into one of Ben’s large flannel shirts, unbuttoned just enough to have skin to skin contact with your little girl. Ben grabbed his clothes from the bag and snuck into the in-suite bathroom to change, emerging a few minutes later in his grey sweatpants and a t shirt before walking over to peek over the doctor’s shoulder and snapping a few pictures with his camera. “She’s lovely, y/n. She really is!” He said, looking over at you, sitting on the bed as the nurse adjusted the postpartum drug regimen going through your IV. “Are you ready for her, Momma?” The nurse asked and you nodded, bringing your hands to your mouth and feeling the tears bubble up in your eyes again. “Yeah, i am!” You sputtered, and the nurse brought you your little baby, wrapped in a soft pink blanket and cooing like she was the happiest girl in the world. “Hi, my love!” You cooed, a tear dripping from your cheek onto her little blanket, “I love you so much, darling! You look so much like your daddy, just like i hoped you would!” You said and the little girl yawned big and bold, “You and me both, little one! Looks like we have taken it out of eachother!” You said, tracing the ridge of her little button nose with your finger. “Ben!” You looked over at your husband who was sitting patiently on he sideline snapping photos, “put your camera down and come up here.” He did as he was told and you looked into his warm green eyes, “Do you want to hold her, Ben?” You asked and he nodded, a tear dripping down his cheek. The nurse picked up Ben’s camera and trained it on the two of you - that picture became your favorite of all the ones that were taken. You handed the little bundle to Ben and the little girl stirred slightly, letting out a little whimper. “No, don’t cry for Daddy! Daddy doesn’t want you to cry The first time he holds you!” Ben cooed and she soon relaxed, pressing herself into Ben’s chest as he adjusted his hold of her. He looked down at your daughter and then at you. “She’s breathtaking, y/n. I can’t believe we made this little miracle together.” He said and you placed your hand on his cheek. “I love you so much, Ben. We’re parents; you made me a mom!” You cried, throwing your arms around his neck and he laughed. “I can’t believe it! And you did most of the work to make me a dad, so I should be thanking you.” He grinned, running his finger along her delicate hairline and feeling the softness of her little curls. “I don’t want to interrupt, but have you decided on her name, Mom and Dad? No rush, just want to get her birth certificate filled out.” The nurse asked, Ben’s eyes met yours and you nodded, giving him a soft smile. “Ivy. Ivy Elizabeth Jones.” He said confidently. “I love it!” The nurse said, writing Ivy’s name on the form and handing you the copy to sign. Ben juggled Ivy in his arms so he could sign his name as well. “Perfect! We’ll leave you guys to enjoy your new parenthood for a while before her first feeding.” The nurse said, “hit the call button if you need anything - even if you think it’s something stupid and minor.” She winked and waved as she left the room.

“I can’t believe it.” Ben said again, “I know I sound like a broken record, but I cannot believe she is finally here. I can’t believe we MADE her. She’s Part you and Part me and - Shit i love you so much. You have no idea the magnitude of this gift you’ve given me!” Ben rattled on, “Sorry Ivy, Daddy needs to watch his language doesn’t he?” Ben cooed, the little girl wiggled an arm free from her swaddle and gripped Ben’s finger in her tiny fist. “Look at your little fingers, they’re so tiny!” He chuckled, the sound was so bright and happy. “You make me so happy, Ben. I couldn’t have done this without you and I’m so excited to see you flourish and grow as a Dad. Ivy and i are so lucky to have you.” You kissed his cheek and he smiled up at you. “Thank you, You think you’re lucky? I have two of the most beautiful girls in the world to love every day for the rest of my life. Watching you bring our little girl into the world and push yourself through the pain was amazing and you’re already the best mum. I can’t wait to raise this little girl with you to hopefully be as strong and relentless as her mum one day.” You cuddled into Ben’s side and stared at your little girl in awe, riding the high of being a newly crowned parent with the love of your life.

————

A few months later, you and Ben were adjusting to life as new parents and reveling in the feeling of watching Ivy grow and thrive. You’d seen so many friends and family over the last couple months - Joe came from New York to stay with you and help out, really stepping up in his position as Godfather; Lucy and Rami were over almost every day, taking turns with Gwilym and his wife to bring you and Ben meals and remind you to eat. Both your parents and Ben’s were over constantly - sometimes a bit too much - doting over their first grandchild and going absolutely Gaga over Ivy’s curls that made her look more and more like Ben’s little twin every single day.


But now that Ivy was born, Ben had to return to work - going on a press tour for his newest project was now at the top of his to-do list and he was dreading it. All he wanted to do was be home to cuddle with his wife and watch his little girl grow and change, but instead he was stuck talking to reporters for hours on end. Tonight was Graham Norton and while he typically loved being a guest on his show, he couldn’t wait for it to be over so he could go home to his little family. His stylist Grace - a fairly new mom herself - got him suited and booted for the show, making him look as stunning as ever for his appearance. He gave her a soft smile as she made some finishing touches on his look - tucking in his pocket square and straightening his tie. “Only a couple hours, Benny Boy. A couple more hours and you get to see that cute little girl of yours!” Grace said, poking his cheek, “Smile, bud you should be happy!” She said, “Show me that picture again, i want to see Ivy’s cute little cheeks again!” Ben smiled, pulling out his phone and flashing a photo of Ivy lying on a blanket in the living room and smiling widely, her cheeks round and pink and her hair splayed out in wild dark blonde curls. “Ben, she’s such a little cutie! I can see why you can’t wait to go home to her!” She cooed about the photo and Ben grinned with such pride. The stage manager knocked on the door of Ben’s dressing room. “Hey Ben, five minutes!” He said, and Ben nodded to him. “Showtime!” Grace exclaimed lightly smacking Ben’s chest like she always did and he rolled his eyes, chuckling to himself as he walked out toward the stage.

When Graham announced him and called him out to the couch, Ben waved and flashed his typical huge grin to the crowd as he waved, but he just wasn’t feeling it today - he hoped they couldn’t tell. “Well, how are you Ben? It’s been a while since we’ve seen you on the show; I think last time we were talking about your eggs.” The picture of Ben from a promotional calendar during his Eastenders days flashed on the screen - he was topless in an awful fedora holding two comically large jars of pickled eggs. Ben let out a little huff, smiling to himself, cheeks pink, “My wife loves that stupid picture, she put it in a frame and hides it in different palaces around our house. She got our friends to do it too and I HATE it!” Ben laughed, warming up a bit to the interview - talking about the love of his life was something he never tired of. “How is your wife, y/n is it? Didn’t she just have a baby?” Graham asked and Ben lit up. “She’s great, actually. And yeah, we just had a baby girl about three months ago. Her name is Ivy, she’s perfect! We are very lucky!” Ben’s eyes were soft and he felt warm inside talking about his pride and joy - he hoped he could talk mostly about her during this interview and not the project he was promoting, he felt his presence alone was enough for that. “We’ve got a picture; look at her! She’s such a cutie! Must not take after you then, Benny?” Ben genuinely laughed, “Yeah, no. I think she got my curls and maybe my eyes, but she’s definitely prettier than me. I can’t wait to cuddle on her when I get home - she loves to cuddle and she’s just SO happy! Always giggling and cooing, I can’t get enough!” He felt himself being as Graham spoke, “You’ve been traveling for your new film, has it been hard to be away?” Graham asked, “Oh, yeah!” Ben sputtered, “I was home with her the whole first month and half of the second and it was crazy to see how much she changed in that short period of time. She’s gained some weight, gotten longer, she can do so much more than just eat and sleep. When I left she was starting to eat food rather than just nursing which is SO FUN. She gets so excited when you put her in the high chair. My wife has been FaceTiming me often over the last few weeks, and as my wife is trying to feed her, she’s trying to grab the food off the spoon and it’s usually like carrots or sweet potatoes so it’s orange and so messy. I can’t wait to come home and experience that for myself.” He could feel the audience members’ hearts melt into a huge puddle.

“Sounds like you really love being a dad, Benny boy!” Graham chuckled, “Oh, I fuckin’ love it! Sorry,” Ben shrugged, forgetting for a moment that he was on a TV interview. “I never saw myself being a dad until I met my wife, either. She really has a hold on me, I wanted to marry her after our first date. I was with a girl for NINE years and didn’t feel ready to settle down, but with this girl I was really hooked; I wanted the wedding, the House, the baby - the whole lot!” Ben’s smile fell slightly, “We started talking about kids a few years ago and had a lot of trouble conceiving - something that not a lot of people want to talk about. Ivy is the result of almost three years of needles, pills, doctor’s appointments, and shed tears but she is so worth it. She was on bedrest for a while, we had two devastating miscarriages, and there’s been a lot of anxiety regarding both her health and the baby’s, but it’s made our love and our marriage so strong and so happy in the end. We learned so much about ourselves and each other which is so valuable. I’ve never been happier, honestly.” Ben smiled, his eyes a bit glassy as he fought off the tears that threatened to spill onto his cheeks. “I’m so proud of y/n, when everyone was telling her to stop she refused to give up - doctors were telling her to consider a surrogate or even adoption but she was adamant she wanted to have her own baby and in the end we got really lucky - Ivy is worth all the effort. I hate being away from her and her mum!” Ben mused. “Wow, you two are really something. You two are dedicated and anyone with eyes can see you two love each other so much. We’re so happy for you!” Graham grinned, “Thank you, it really means a lot!” Ben said. “Now, is the baby going to the premiere?” Graham asked and Ben laughed, “No, we’ve already made arrangements for her to be with my parents for that whole weekend. Y/n and I figure we’ll want some adult time together after having a baby for 6 months.” He laughed. “Adult fun, care to elaborate?” Graham winked, “Ha, I don’t think I can. It wouldn’t be appropriate for television.” Ben beamed, “Will there be jars of pickled eggs and a fedora involved?” Graham joked. “Don’t you dare give my wife any ideas! That look is in the PAST!” Ben snorted. “Well, check out the incredibly talented Ben Hardy in his newest film, coming out this November. Thanks for coming on, my man. Give the family my love!” Graham shook Ben’s hand and Ben nodded, “Will do, thanks so much for having me, mate.” Ben said and the cameras turned off, the director called cut, and Ben took his leave, running to change in his dressing room before hopping in his car and speeding to the other side of London to get home to his girls.

Ben zipped into the garage - coming in only a bit too hot and nearly clipping the mirror of your other car - and left his bags in the boot, they could wait. He went into the house as quietly as he could, it was 10 PM, he was sure Ivy would be asleep and didn’t want to violently wake her as soon as he returned. When you heard the door click closed, you turned around on the couch where you were watching TV on a low volume. “Benny?” You whispered, your eyes blowing wide. “Hi, baby!” He said, beaming. You shot up and ran over to him, wrapping your arms tightly around his neck and clinging to him. His arms instinctively curled around your waist, squeezing you to him. “I missed you so much - WE missed you so much!” You said into his broad chest. He felt his heart start to race and happy tears bubbling up in his eyes. “You have no idea how badly I’ve missed you two.” He said, rubbing soothing circles into your back. You leaned up and placed a deep kiss on his plump lips before taking a step back to finish warming Ivy’s bottle in the kitchen. “Damn, you look GREAT, Baby! Can’t tell you were pregnant three months ago!” Ben said, stepping back to take a look at you. “I KNOW! I’ve been working a hard - Ivy and I have been going to Baby Yoga at least three times a week and breastfeeding does wonders!” You and Ben both laughed. “I’m so proud of you. I don’t care what you look like - you know that - but shit you’re hot!” You felt heat rise in your cheeks. “Well I have a really hot husband that i have to stand next to.” You said kissing his cheek. “I was just about to wake Ivy and feed her a bottle. Do you want to do it? I saved it for you.” You winked. “Fuck yes! I can’t wait to get my hands on that little nugget!” He said and you led him upstairs to the nursery

“Hi baby girl!” You cooed, rubbing her round little tummy with your hand. “She’s gotten so big!” Ben whispered in your ear. “Yeah, she has! She’s just started rolling over and can almost sit up on her own.” You said, “It’s impressive!” Ben kissed your cheek. “Hey, Ivy, guess who’s home?” You asked, knowing full well you wouldn’t get more of an answer than maybe a coo or a gurgle. “Daddy’s home! He’s going to give you your bottle tonight, yay!” You whispered excitedly as you lowered the side of the crib and picked her up, holding her close to you and rubbing her little head as she shuddered awake. She made a chorus of little coos as you rocked her back and fourth, keeping her calm as she roused. “You want to hold her, Ben?” You asked, looking up at your husband, tears were falling down his cheeks, “Ben, why are you crying?” You asked, suddenly concerned. “I missed so much and that just hit me when I saw her. She can roll over and sit up now, she’s gotten so big. How could I let myself be away this long?” He asked, “I’m happy because look at her, she’s so perfect and so healthy and I’m so happy to see her again, but I’m upset that i missed so much.” Ben said. You reached out and took his hand in yours, pulling him closer to you. Ivy gurgled against your shoulder. “Ben, there are going to be so many more milestones much more important than rolling over and almost sitting up. You have nothing to feel guilty for, i promise you that. You are the best dad and Ivy knows that. Her toy of choice since you left has been one of your t shirts - she rubs it all over her face. She loves YOU, Ben! Now here, hold your daughter; she can’t wait for you to hold her!” You said, passing Ivy over to Ben who immediately nuzzled his face into her soft head of curls. “Hi, my girl! Did you miss me?” Ivy let out a long aaaaaahhhh, and smacked her little hand against Ben’s shoulder. “I’ll take that as a yes!” He chuckled, rubbing her head with his hand. “Is it time to eat, sweet girl?” Ben asked her, rocking her in his arms and carrying her down the stairs toward he kitchen where her warm bottle was sitting on the counter. You grabbed the bottle and handed it to Ben who was now sitting on the couch, Ivy lying in his strong arms and peering up at him with her emerald eyes that perfectly matched his. He held the bottle and started to feed Ivy, whose little hands gripped it for dear life. Ben laughed, “Do you starve her? She’s going to town on that bottle!” He joked and you rolled your eyes, smiling as you watched your favorite domestic scene unfold. “We’re so happy to have you home, Benny. I’ve missed this so much, I wish you never had to travel.” You said smiling warmly and feeling your heart soar. “I’m not going anywhere, love. Never.”

blahblahblahblahhhhhhhhhhhhhh  asked:

I love your writing ❤️ can we get a second part to the painting nails and growing families?! 💕💕💕

Pretty Nails and Growing Families, Part 2 (Dad!Ben Fluff and SMUT)


Of COURSE you can have a part two! And I have a PART THREE started too! Same warnings as the last, with a little smut this time (We’re makin’ some cute little Ben babies up in here!) Thanks for all your suggestions and KEEP THEM COMING! I have a couple other WIPs that I hope to have done in the next few days. I want all of them to be PERFECT and between work and moving apartments, I’ve been a busy bee. But we are finally getting on the right track and I am so happy you’re all so patient with me! And HERE is part 1 if you need it. https://mrsbenjones.tumblr.com/post/185065116095/an-thanks-to-kellysimagines-for-another-great

———————

You woke up with Ben’s face nuzzled into the nape of your neck, his arms curled around your waist and snuggling you close to his body. Once you told Ben you were ready to have another baby, he was ecstatic and couldn’t keep his hands off of you; the two of you had been at it like rabbits for the last few months and it definitely felt good to be this physical again. It wasn’t necessarily a problem that the two of you were using every small scrap of your free time to try to conceive, but your now three-year-old was starting to notice something was going on and it was getting harder to hide from her - especially when she barged into your bedroom while both of you were completely bare and wrapped in each other’s arms. Violet charged at your bed with her toddler energy, clambering up onto the large mattress and throwing her bouncy little body directly across your chests. You were both startled awake, you feeling startled by pain as Violet’s little foot made direct contact with your cheek. “MUMMY, DADDY!” Violet yelled, rolling around on top of the two of you, Ben snapped up, whispering curses under his breath as he hurried to cover his early morning arousal from the innocent eyes of his darling child. “Violet, be extra careful around Mummy, please! You don’t want to hurt her.” Ben scolded lovingly, looking over to you wide eyed and mouthing “are you okay?” To you. You replied with a tight nod. Violet looked down at you and wrapped her little arms around your neck, snuggling her round little face next to yours before looking right back up at Ben. “Daddy, why aren’t you and Mummy wearing any jammies?” Violet blurted out and you stared at your now very red-faced husband, interested to hear the creativity he would conjure up for his answer. “Uh, Mummy and Daddy just got really hot last night.” He looked at you nervously while awkwardly trying to conceal the fact that he was also completely naked underneath the comforter. The toddler seemed to buy it and Ben looked a little relieved. “Daddy, can we play tea party this morning?” Violet stuck out her lip, desperate for her dad to say yes - Ben always melted for that look. “Of course, baby. Daddy needs to get ready though.” Violet’s big green eyes looked up at Ben, expecting him to hop out of Bed and immediately play with her. “Hey, Vi? Do you think you can go downstairs and watch your show while Mummy and Daddy get ready? It will only be a few minutes, we promise.” Ben said, looking down at her with the same green eyes and placing a kiss on her little toddler nose, making her giggle. “Okay!” She blubbered before rolling down off of you, kicking you in the side on her descent, before toddling down the hallway and making her way down the stairs. The two of you heard some activity from the lower level of the house and finally the television click on and Elmo start to sing - Violet LOVED to turn on the TV by herself.


Both of you let out an exhausted sigh. “So i take it that means no morning quickie?” You laughed from embarrassment and Ben groaned leaning his face into his shoulder. “No. I can’t believe I got cockblocked by a toddler. And she called us out!” Ben pouted - his daughter definitely got her attitude from him. “I know, baby. But we’ve got plenty of time to make a baby. She goes to your parents’ tonight for that specific reason.” You said, running your fingers through Ben’s soft curls. “Yes, but something is telling me that I’m ready now and it fucking hurts.” He whined, his soft lips pecking against your neck. “So WHINY this morning!” You joked. “Yeah, well my darling little girl nearly saw my fully erect dick this morning. I deserve to whine.” Ben said, looking up at you with his beautiful eyes, sparkling with mischief. “Elmo’s on anyway, she’ll be busy for a while.” He urged, placing his lips on that one place on your neck that could make you melt. You moaned, “Lock the door!” You cried, sitting up slightly against the pillows as your husband quickly hustled to the door, shutting and licking it before nearly jumping on top of you. His hands were immediately cradling your cheeks and his tongue begging for entrance. “God, I love you!” He nearly growled into your mouth as he ground his hips into yours. You let out a small whimper from the friction. There was something about Ben all hot and bothered that had a way of making you melt like putty in his hands. Ben wasted no time, moving his thumb to rub tight circles on your sensitive bundle of nerves, you hooked your leg around his hip for leverage as you instinctively bucked your hips into his hand. Your folds were slick and more than ready for him and he noticed - grabbing his member and pumping it a few times and sliding the tip through your folds to gather some of the wetness there. “Ready, my love?” He asked, eyebrows raised, eyes curious. “Yes!” You sighed, too overcome with the bliss that came from your husband’s touch to really form the whole, single syllable word. As he pushed into you, your eyes rolled back and you let out a guttural moan. Ben filled you up perfectly and he felt so good inside of you - skin to skin, every ridge and vein throbbing against your velvet walls. “Oh, Sweet Christ I’ll never get tired of that feeling.” Ben groaned as he bottomed out against you, whimpering at the slight squeeze of your walls against him. “You feel so good, love. No wonder we make such good babies!” He joked. “Put a baby in me, Ben! Please!” You cried, the pressure building in your lower belly and demanding to be released. He thrust in and out of you in smooth, practiced motions - always hitting that one spot that made your toes curl and back arch while you screamed his name. “Ben, Ben! I’m-I think I’m - BEN!” You cried out as your eyes rolled back into your head while he sped up his thrusts. “Let it out, baby! Let it out, come for me!” You felt yourself come around him with a shuttered moan and within seconds he was painting your walls with his seed, his body falling limp against yours as you both struggled to catch your breath.

Ben regained a bit of his strength after a few beats, leaning up on his elbow to peer down at you. You brought a hand to grace the features of his face - the strong jawline and his plump lips, then allowing your fingers to dance along the faint shadow of stubble just above his lip and beneath his chin. He smiled warmly at you. “I love you, y/n. I can’t wait to have another baby with you.” He whispered in awe. “That was probably the best morning quickie we’ve ever had.” You said through labored breaths. Ben laughed softly, “I can’t necessarily disagree, love. But it’s always good with you; the best even.” You rolled your eyes and pushed his chest playfully. “Don’t you have a tea party to attend?” You asked your husband with a mischievous smirk. He rolled his eyes then met your glance, “Oh, shit, is that today?” He laughed, his hand coming up to stroke your cheek. “Thank you, for giving me our little Violet. She’s a pistol, but she’s everything I could have ever wanted and more.” He sighed contentedly. “I love both of you so much and I hope we can add another one soon.” He smiles warmly. You reached up and took his hand in yours, lacing your fingers together. “I do, too.” You whispered, giving his hand a squeeze and leaning up to place a chaste kiss to his lips. “I hate to do this, because I want nothing more than to stay in this bed with you, but I think we need to get up before we have a rabid Violet clawing at our door because Daddy is late to play.” Ben laughed, “You want to stay in bed with me all day? That’s so sweet!” He sighed, “You’re right, come on!” He said, rolling off of you and placing his feet on the floor before pulling you up after him. The result of your morning activities present between your thighs. “I think I might shower really fast.” You said, leaning against Ben’s chest. “Can I join you?” He asked, you leaned back to see his cute face, he was biting his lip in that cute way that always drove you wild. “Of course, but we have to be fast!” You said, “Well perfect, we’re being efficient. One shower is much quicker than two.” Ben joked, taking your hand as you led him into the adjoining bathroom of your master suite.

You turned on the water and stepped in while Ben grabbed two new towels and sat them next to the shower before getting in after you. You had your hair up in a ponytail - no time to wash it now, that would have to wait until after Violet went to her grandparents. Ben wrapped his hand around it and tugged lightly. “Gotcha’!” He said, raising his eyebrows and giggling like a schoolboy teasing his crush on the playground. Before bringing his lips down to yours and planting a kiss on your lips. “You are such a child, Benjamin.” You shoved him lightly and he wrapped his arms around your waist and leaned down to place a kiss on your shoulder; you placed your arms on top of his and leaned into his chest. “Remember when we first moved in together, the only piece of furniture put together in our apartment was the bed - not even the frame, just the mattress. We spent the whole first day on that mattress, just going at each other 6 Inches from the floor until we were totally spent.” He pulled you closer to him, and you could feel his heart racing. “We got in the shower together that night because we were just a mess, and i had never seen a woman so beautiful, so vulnerable, so REAL.” He said, so much emotion in his voice. “I knew then that you were the one I was meant to spend my life with.” You looked back at him and smiled, leaning up to kiss his lips in a long, slow kiss. “I know we have to be quick, so can we definitely repeat this later tonight?” Ben asked, eyes curious, and you nodded before quickly cleaning yourself up and tossing the soapy loofah at Ben when you were finished. He looked at you with that goofy face he always wore when the two of you acted like children, “What? You’re not going to help me?!” Ben whined then laughed brightly.


When both of you were finished, you quickly dressed and headed downstairs to find Violet spread across the couch with her sticky little hands in an open box of cereal - that she appeared to have opened all by herself with the mess of little crunchy bits all over the floor - watching her favorite Elmo show that she had learned to queue up on her own. “Find some breakfast, Vi?” Ben asked sarcastically - unbeknownst to the toddler of course. “Yeah! I did it myself!” She exclaimed, obviously quite proud of herself. “I got Frankie breakfast too!” And you both looked over to see Frankie eating bits of cereal from her dish and Ben rolled his eyes - well, at least Violet tried. “That was very nice of you, baby. You’re getting so grown up!” You cooed, kissing the top of her little head as you sat next to her on the couch. “Mummy?” Violet asked, looking up at you with her sweet, puppy dog eyes. “Why were you yelling at Daddy upstairs? Is he in trouble?” Now it was Ben’s turn to laugh and your turn to blush. You heard Ben snort from the kitchen - your three year old just HEARD you screaming Ben’s name while you were having sex. Excellent. You shot your husband a look from over the top of the couch. “No, baby, Daddy’s not in trouble!” You said, running your hand through her hair. “Then why did you yell at him?” She pressed, her eyes so inquisitive. “Well, Mummy and Daddy were playing a game and Daddy was so good at it that I just had to make sure I said his name loud enough for everyone to hear it.” You said, praying that the little toddler would take that answer and be done with the matter. “Oh, ok!” She chirped and shrugged her little shoulders - thank God. “Didn’t you want Daddy to have a tea party with you?” You asked the little girl and she nodded frantically, making you laugh. “Why don’t you go get set up and I’ll send Daddy up after you?” You suggested and the little girl beamed, bouncing up and down on her couch cushion. “Can we have juice for tea, Mummy, PLEASE?!” Violet stuck out her lower lip - she DEFINITELY learned that from her Dad. “Yes, you can. I’ll send it up with Daddy so it doesn’t spill. Now go on!” Violet hopped down, already running on all cylinders - and clambered up to her playroom to set up her Tea party.

“So Mummy and Daddy were playing a game, were they?” Ben asked with a sly expression on his face, trying to keep himself from laughing. “Keep it up and you WILL be in trouble!” You pokes his chest before pulling Violet’s juice from the refrigerator. “Is that a promise?” Ben asked, chuckling brightly. You grabbed the collar of his shirt and pulled him down to face you before snagging his lips with yours in a passionate, but quick kiss. He raised an eyebrow. “There’s more where that came from later. Now have a tea party with your daughter.” You said, handing him the carton of orange juice. The cute, boyish smile you loved spread across his face as he headed upstairs after Violet.

You could hear the two of them chattering upstairs; one of the first things you heard was Violet asking Ben to help her get her dress up chest from the closet - “Daddy, it’s not a tea party if you’re not dressed up!” There was some clattering and you heard the distinct click of Violet’s plastic dress up heels on the hardwood floor. It made you laugh hearing Violet ask Ben if he wanted “tea” with his, “Well of COURSE, darling!” As a response. Ben was so good with your daughter, always more than willing to play along with her - even if it meant putting on plastic jewelry and drinking warm orange juice from plastic tea cups the size of a shot glass. You found some cookies in the cupboard and arranged them on a cute little plate to take to their party - it was a good excuse to see what Violet had talked Ben into wearing from her dress up box and you always LOVED to see that! You headed up the stairs, plate of cookies in hand, and walked down the hall to Violet’s playroom. There the two of them sat at the little table in the middle of the room, Violet bedecked in her favorite ballerina dress, a pink tiara and shoes, with a purple feather boa; and Ben sitting across from her with a matching pink boa around his neck over his t shirt and sweatpants and a silver tiara and matching clip on earrings. The sight brought a huge smile to your face and you struggled not to laugh, but it also warmed your heart to see that Ben would do absolutely anything if it meant pleasing Violet. “Well, don’t we look BEAUTIFUL this morning, Violet!” You said, and Violet looked up at you with the biggest, most genuine grin. “Violet, what do we say when someone gives us a compliment?” Ben asked - manners had been the most recent lesson - “Thank you, Mummy!” She sputtered in her cute toddler voice. “Good Girl!” Ben said, raising his hand for the toddler to hi-five. “I brought you come cookies for your tea party, Violet. Would you like them?” You asked and she nodded feverishly. “Mummy do you want to come to my tea party too?” The little girl asked and you saw two matching pairs of emerald eyes peer up at you with the same wonderful sparkle. “Of course I would!” You said, placing the plate of cookies down in the middle of the table and Violet immediately grabbed one and took a big bite. Ben laughed, “Violet, shouldn’t you ask your guests if they want one first?” He asked. “Mummy, do you want a cookie?” She asked, crumbs spewing from between her lips. “Thank you, Violet, I will have one.” Ben looked over at you with a wink as you picked up a cookie and took a bite. “You look absolutely stunning, Ben. Are those real sapphires in your earrings?” You asked with a little grin. “They are, actually. I got them in Paris.” He said, flaunting his plastic jewelry, courtesy of Violet’s dress up box. He smiled at you, taking your hand in his beneath the tiny table and squeezing it, making your heart swell just like it did on your first date.

The hours went by and the three of you finished your tea party which soon turned into a fashion show that Violet demanded you be in attendance for. “Is this what all the Paris Fashion Week shows were like, Ben?” You whispered in his ear as Violet changed into a different tutu, boa, and heel combination. “No, this is much better.” Ben said, cracking a smile, “and the model is a lot cuter.” He winked and chuckled as Violet bounced about on her “runway” which was the long ornamental rug in the entryway. “Hopefully there are two models one day.” You said, wrapping your arms around his bicep and leaning into your husband’s body. He kissed the top of your head. “I hope that more than anything else.” He whispered into your hair before taking your chin in his hand and tilting your head up to kiss your lips sweetly. “Ahem!” You heard Violet cough, she was ready to model her next look and you and Ben obviously were distracted for 0.5 seconds. “Are you watching?” She asked, hands on her hips and exuding nothing but pure attitude. You both looked at each other and laughed, “We’re watching, love! We’re watching!” Ben said, holding you close to him as you both watched the beautiful daughter you’d made together express herself and it was breathtaking. After a few moments, Ben looked at his watch, “Violet, Grandma is going to be here soon to take you for your sleepover. We still need to get you packed!” Ben said, standing and helping you up. “GRANDMA’S HOUSE!” Violet yelled and skittered up the stairs. “I’ll go help her, you relax.” Ben said, leaning down to rest his forehead against yours. “I love you.” He whispered against your lips. “I love you, too.” You replied, kissing him softly before he headed up the stairs after his little girl to help her pack her suitcase. You stood at the bottom of the stairs for a beat, thinking about how lucky you were to be so in love with a man that you created a wonderful little girl and he was absolutely crazy about both of you; it felt almost too good to be real, and yet here you were. You walked into the living room and sat on the couch in front of the TV where Elmo was still playing, but you weren’t even paying attention. You were just focused on thinking about how beautiful the life you and Ben were building together was shaping out to be.

Ben and Violet headed down the stairs about 20 minutes later, with her little puppy suitcase all packed and rolling behind her and another bag full of her favorite toys. Ben had gotten her dressed in the Arsenal Jersey that he threw on her every chance he got; Ben even fixed her hair - pulling her soft, bouncy baby curls into pig tails with her favorite little purple scrunchies. Violet walked past you with her favorite stuffed bunny under one arm and her blanket flung over her shoulder, into the dining room where she could sit and watch for her Grandma to arrive. “Wow, good job, Benny! You’re the epitome of girl dad if you’ve started doing hair without being asked.” You said, looking over at your daughter as Ben placed Violet’s bags by the door. “I know, I’m merely a shell of the man I once was!” You turned to him, he laughed and scratched his head, making his bicep strain against the grey cotton fabric of his t shirt, causing your mind to go completely blank for a moment: “You are not a shell of the man you were, Ben. You’ve just grown up - it’s not a bad thing. You’ve become a dad, it’s what dad’s do!” You smiled and he mirrored your expression. “I know, you’ve matured a lot too - even though you were far more mature than me to begin with!” Ben winked and pulled you into a hug. “And you’re such a good mom, you don’t give yourself enough credit.” He placed a short kiss on the top of your head.

You felt Ben’s phone buzz from his pocket against your hip and he whipped it out to check it. “Oh, text from my mum. She’s almost here.” He chirped before leaning down to kiss the tip of your nose. “That means it is almost time for you and me to get back to our activities from this morning.” He rolled his bottom lip under his teeth in that devilishly sexy way that he does and you felt heat rise to your cheeks. You’d told Ben’s parents why they should take Violet for the weekend - something they were always more than willing to do - but it still felt weird that Ben’s parents knew that while they had your child all you and their son were going to do was get down as many times as possible. “Does it feel weird to you that your parents know they’re taking Violet so we can fuck?” Ben snorted, his smile so big he had the cute little crinkles around his eyes, “Yeah, a little. But I mean they know we had to have sex to make Violet, and my mom wants to eventually die surrounded by hordes of grandchildren so she’s kind of encouraging it.” He kissed your forehead, “She ends every call with, ‘If you and y/n want me to take Violet for a bit so you can -you know, be intimate - I am MORE than happy to!’” He smiled down at you, “She calls it being intimate?” You cringed and Ben giggled. “She really loves you, you know. And she wants nothing more than for you to be happy - and have more babies from us.” He winked and you squeezed him tighter. Violet ran in the entryway from where she had been staring out the dining room window. “GRAMMY IS HERE!” Violet chanted, opening the front door and charging out toward Ben’s mom. “Violet, be careful baby! Let Grammy stop and turn off the car before you run to it!” You called from the open door and you and Ben headed out of the house with Violet’s things. Ben’s mom got out of the car and Violet ran over to her, attacking her legs with a tight hug. “Grammy!” She exclaimed, her voice muffled by her grandma’s thigh. “Hello, my girl! Are you ready for a weekend weekend with Grammy and Grampy?” She asked, her hand rubbing he little girl’s back. “Yeah!” Violet said, wide eyed. “Hi, Mum, thank you for taking her this weekend, we appreciate it.” Ben said, embracing his mom before handing her Violet’s bags and wrapping his arm around your waist. You instinctively rested your head on Ben’s shoulder and your hand on his chest and you could see your mother in law’s heart literally melt. “Absolutely, it’s no trouble at all. You two need some uninterrupted time alone every once and a while, you deserve it.” She winked at the two of you - your face grew hot, knowing exactly what she meant by “uninterrupted time alone.” “Especially if you’re trying to have another you-know-what.” She raised her eyebrows suggestively - you wanted to keep the fact that you were making a baby a secret from Violet for a while. You didn’t want to get her hopes up too high only for you not to be able to conceive - Violet loved babies and thinking she had one coming when it never would could absolutely crush her. “We really do appreciate it, you have no idea!” You said, looking up at Ben and back to his mom, they had the same soft smile. “It’s our pleasure, we’ll get going so you to can get to it! Love you two. Violet, say bye to Mummy and Daddy!” She said. “Bye! I love you Mummy and Daddy!” Violet waved ecstatically as she was buckled into her car seat. “Bye, my girl! I love you so much!” Ben said, blowing her a kiss. “Love You, baby! See you Monday.” You waved. She grinned, still waving as Ben’s mom shut the door. She gave the two of you one last hug, and whispered something into Ben’s ear before getting back in the car and heading off.

i can’t wait to have babies. i keep looking over at my future husband and he’s laughing, and when his laughter breaks, he speaks with so much joy, and in every moment he is so so bright that it feels like in this world i have finally found home. i know that i have found home. i can’t wait to see his joy, intelligence, passion, empathy, artistic, kind, wholehearted spirit shining through our children one day. i am so lucky. today is overflowing with love and the future is so beautiful.

The baby fever is reallll…my friend has two little ones and oh my gosh I love those kids. They’re so smart and so goofy. I can’t wait to have my own one day. Also each of them calls me a different name??? “Aunt Feather” and “Nonni” I don’t understand it but ALRIGHT.

CD10.

I’m tempted to start using OPKs it’ll be my first time ever trying them. So I’m not sure how or if I even should.

Debating just going with the flow and seeing how we do for a couple of months and if we haven’t conceived in a few months then give them a go..

We’ve “done the deed” every other day so far.

I’m not sure when I’m expected to Ovulate since my cycle days always differ especially lately. Anywhere from 30-40 days. 🤷🏻‍♀️

I don’t know I just wanna he pregnant again. 🙃