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“She wanted to say I love you like a thunderstorm, like a lion, like a helpless rage…”

- Ken Follett, The Pillars of the Earth

“CONFESSION” - the crypt writer

[ vague religious / nsfw imagery ahead ]





our altar.
our bed.
bitter wine,
stale bread.
a private place
of worship.
you are stained glass
and bone
as your back curves,
the arches of
our church.
despite yourself,
every sunday
you come.
now -
on your knees,
tell me what
you’ve done.
i’ll be what you need.
i’ll be your salvation.





you can also read my poem on my instagram: . I appreciate all your support.

[…] it is not possible, when you are reading Charlotte Brontë, to lift your eyes from the page. She has you by the hand and forces you along her road, seeing the things she sees and as she sees them.
—  Virginia Woolf, Genius And Ink; Charlotte Brontë

pluttskutt  asked:

Happy Storyteller Saturday! Do you have an OC that sings when they're alone? What songs do they sing?

Thanks for the ask!

Scyanatha might do a small tune if the mood strikes her, but it’s a rare thing.

In truth, the one that would like to sing the most, due to plot limits, can’t. Lerki’s people use music when using their magic, but life on Illthdar isn’t how it should be and that means that they risk their lives to sing. To survive, they’re forced to stop doing the one thing that gives their lives meaning.

Capek Mengingat-ngingat Masa Lalu


Merasa seperti ditampar kalo udah mulai nginget-nginget kemalangan yang terjadi bertahun-tahun kebelakang tuh. Merasa sangat bodoh sekali, mengingat sesuatu yang udah terjadi dan berharap itu engga pernah terjadi. Sambil terus-terusan mengutukki diri sendiri dan kehidupan.

Aku capek jadi persona yang mudah membawa luka lama ke permukaan. Bukan cuma bakal nyakitin diri sendiri tapi juga orang-orang berharga di sekeliling. Aku capek jadi persona yang mudah khawatir, bahkan untuk sesuatu yang seharusnya aku percaya.

Belakangan ini, aku kehilangan seseorang yang berharga karena aku terlalu mengkhawatirkan masa lalu. Terlalu mengkhawatirkan kenangan manis dia dimasa lalu, padahal dia sendiri sudah lupa. Baru sadar bahwa aku bisa jadi sejahat dan sebodoh itu. Menghidupkan kembali masa lalu seseorang engga selalu bikin kenangan indah itu muncul, bahkan untuk sesuatu yang indah pun menyimpan luka yang teramat asing dan gelap dan gak sepantasnya untuk dibuka seenaknya.


Cuma lagi capek banget.

A good test of a relationship is how well you both deal with challenges. If one person is more invested, it shows. If you’re with the wrong person, it feels like too much work. But if you’re unhappy more than you’re happy, it’s not the right relationship for you.
—  Susane Colasanti, All I Need

I miss him terribly, which is strange, because we never really talked much when he was here.

Stephen Chbosky -The Perks of Being a Wallflower

Entry 24012020, 14:04


“Death exists, not as the opposite but as a part of life.”

This is the second time I am punched in the gut by this truth. The first one happened a few nights ago, while we were re-watching Final Destination 4 and Kurt, an 8-year-old kid, randomly blurted out, “Well, you know what they say, ‘death and life are not opposites.’” My focus shifted from being scared of the movie to being scared of the truth lingering in that one sentence.

And as if one wake up call was not enough, the universe had reminded me of this again as I read one of Haruki Murakami’s infamous novels: Norwegian Wood. It is sitting there peacefully on page 25, paragraph 3.

I’ve always thought of death as an escape—an exit to an entrance; an ending to a beginning. Like Toru, the narrator on the novel, I’ve always thought of death and life as separate, independent forces; different, contrasting entities. Sure, I know the feeling of dying, I know the feeling of being dead inside but despite this, real death, the ultimate, final one, felt very far away.

I couldn’t put it better than the way Murakami wrote it, “The hand of death is bound to take us, I had felt, but until the day it reaches out for us, it leaves us alone. This had seemed to me the simple, logical truth. Life is here, death is over there. I am here, and not over there.”

Death, to me, felt like the finality of everything I have come to know and understand; the closing of the curtains; the journey into the black hole of existence. But then came the next part—the cold, hard truth: “Death is not the opposite of life. It was already here, within my being, it had always been here, and no struggle would permit me to forget that.”

After what Kurt said, and what I read in this book, I realized that we were never inside a labyrinth or a prison and no amount of running towards an exit nor searching for a key would save us because death is just another landmark, another stop over in this journey called life.

And who knows what the heck comes after that.

- nyx.