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Save the Date! April 2, 2019 For 24 Hours on we will raise funds to support the clients with autism spectrum disorder that we serve in Highland Hills, Westlake, and at in Strongsville
















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I know it's been hard, really bloody hard, but I also know that you're not alone













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I'm newly diagnosed as and just (re)discovering the benefit of This is my new favourite, it's a wee triangular bean bag that's perfect for squeezing :)




This is my daughter’s doll, Julia. She has “Optimism”. I am using that description from now on.















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°|| vent ||°

[ tw: mental illness, r-slur]

i had some friends talking about their difficulties with x, y and z mental illness, and they were voicing their frustrations with their symptoms and whatnot

i listened intently and wholeheartedly to everything they had to say, and didn’t reduce their illnesses to stereotypes or jokes

oh but when i brought up my autism

°°°

“wow haha you’re our slow little friend”

“aww your autism makes you so cute :)”

“don’t worry, you have us to keep you from going full retard”

°°°

i know none of them had any malicious intent, but it just becomes tiring hearing this patronizing language being used toward me all the time when i mention my autism. they speak to me like a small dog, like i’m helpless, and that if i didn’t have them i’d somehow be acting up all the time

it just gets old :/

One of my old bullies works at where i’m an intern I found out today… I met her in the lunch room and it gave me lots of anxiety, I get anxious whenever I see one of them around which luckily hasn’t happened in years up until now.

She ignored me at first but I decided I was not going to take that so I said hi and we small talked some.

I know I was the weird kid in school, undiagnosed so I had no way of understand why or explaining why to my class. What I did was that I basically followed the girls in my class around without ever speaking a word to them… And they in return made fun of my clothing, called me boring for not talking, told me to leave them alone often while at the same time some days pretending to be my friends and even inviting me to hang with them after school only to bully me again the next day. It was quite the mindfuck so I 0% believe any of them has changed since then but I know that I have. I haven’t been bullied by anyone in my life apart from her and her friends either so i’ve already figured out that there’s something wrong with them not me.

I’ve, regardless of my aspergers and social anxiety, gotten more confident socially since 7 years ago (when we were last classmates) so if she wants to be immature she can be but i’ll say hello when I see her and maybe even small talk a bit, not because I like her but because I want to be an adult and not act childish and condescending so if she wants to do that she can but in the end i’m the adult one for actually being friendly and for having made any kind of growth as a human being since I was a teenager. I would be really happy if I found out she’s actually changed since then though and become a better person, maybe then I could finally forgive her and her friends.

I’m eating lunch alone in the uni bar and…

… I’m impressed with myself.

I mean, I was happier when there were no people on the table beside me, but also…

…no one cares. Person alone? Cool. Loud group? Cool. Just here for drinks? Cool. Here for food? Cool. Here studying? Cool. Playing pool? Cool.

No one cares, and I didn’t realise.

(I had the same revelation when I first entered the uni sports centre)

My thoughts on self diagnosis

TLDR: it can be a good starting point, especially for people who can’t see a therapist, but is usually incorrect. The practice had severe limitations but is not necessarily bad.

So there have been lots of very negative posts on self diagnosis. I am unable to see a therapist, and have simply chosen these labels as a stand in for what the fuck is wrong with me. Clearly, there are people who did it to seem cool or saw one thing a related to it, but not everyone.

I am not sure of having aspd or bpd, or anything else for that matter, but with a label, even if it is most likely incorrect, I feel a whole lot less alone . I have done extensive research, and never claim to be diagnosed or anything like that. What I’m saying is, not everyone who is self diagnosed is just trying to be cool or something.

Feel free to dm/comment, just be civil in disagreement.

Has anyone ever had a mentor?

(bonus if through DSA in the UK)

What sort of things do you focus upon?

I have one, but we don’t have an agenda per se, I just chat about whatevers pressing that week and it goes from there.

But we have a review coming up and I have been asked to think of things to focus upon in the future (and reflect upon what’s gone well/hasn’t thus far)

Why does nobody remember the physical side effects of the spider bite? Like, obviously, there’s the sticking to walls, super-strength, in some versions the web shooting (seriously, though, where does it come from). But in Civil War, Peter explains that he uses really dark goggles to filter out light. Why? Because everything is too bright for him. I wonder what other effects there are. A sensitivity to noise, maybe?

As an Aspergers girl myself, they seem pretty similar to sensory overload. Is the poor kid ALWAYS going through sensory overload?

This has been a rambling.

  • nobody:
  • me rocking back and forth: I've become so used to living in a controlled environment my whole life (I.e. school, home) that now that I'm an adult I'm terrified of living a independent life because if I'm not told what to do all of my actions feel wrong.